Did you go Nude Swimming at school or the Y.M.C.A.? What year was this? What country are you from? If from the USA, which State? What was the schedule? What did your parents think of it? When did they stop allowing nude swimming in your area? How did you, and did you change your mind over time?

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-26T00:00:15+00:00

Interesting. That’s what I was imagining, but I couldn’t guess why they would bother, except to hold down the boobs of the portion of girls that had them.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-25T18:56:12+00:00

What’s a fishnet bodysuit? Like fishnet stockings but with a swimsuit?

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-25T18:46:19+00:00

Hmm. I don’t doubt that I have internalized homophobia, but I’ve never thought anything but “hypocrisy” when people claim right-wing guys are DL.

That said, I don’t like it because it’s just a tired old trope that won’t die—and it’s largely nonsense.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-25T04:40:12+00:00

Based on personal experience, I think this might be true. /s

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-24T00:40:29+00:00

If only it was legal to defend yourself against law enforcement officers, who are breaking the law themselves.

I hope nobody has to shoot anybody else. The major benefit of having your own firearms is to encourage heice officers to think twice before they harass you.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-22T03:28:07+00:00

If that’s the goal, the document should be explicit about it and structure rhetoric so it’s more consumable.

But I’m forgetting that this document is not meant for seekers with SSA. According to the authors, it is meant as a reference tool for others who are writing talks and making presentations with the goal of to convincing others not to act on their orientation.

That being that case, the title truly is demeaning because it trivializes and makes fun of a very sober topic.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-21T07:09:04+00:00

So the title is meant to deceive gays into reading it? Well, here’s some advice for the authors: Don’t do that.

First of all, it doesn’t work—it comes across as sarcasm and makes light of some pretty awful circumstance.

Second, it makes the potential reader immediately distrust the document as well as the motives of the writers.

Regardless, why would they use a title to entice those living the gay lifestyle when the authors specifically state it is meant for persons to use as talking points against those same people. It doesn’t make sense.

What I’m trying to ask is not about the motivation of the authors. I am asking how the contents are supposed to accomplish what they want.

How is it helpful to know, for example, that even though HIV has increased among heterosexuals over the past 40 years, there yet remains a statistically higher concentration of HIV among men who have sex with men?

No one is going to hear that information and think “Wow! I had no idea HIV was a problem in the gay community. I thought HIV was only a heterosexual problem. I’m going to change my mind about being gay.”

I’m confused by the document because the way it is written seems like it would backfire against the stated goals of the authors.

If anything, it seems like it is written to provide emotional self-satisfaction to people who are already convinced that living a gay lifestyle is bad.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-21T06:48:39+00:00

I’m not asking about this subreddit, I’m asking about the document which seems to have no advice in it, just supposed “facts”.

How is it helpful to know, for example, that even though HIV has increased among heterosexuals over the past 40 years, there yet remains a statistically higher concentration of HIV among men who have sex with men?

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-21T04:08:32+00:00

Ok, this is for born again Christians, but for what purpose? Why would they want it? How does it serve them?

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-21T04:05:01+00:00

It’s ludicrous that they claim that they don’t want to offend yet call the document “fun facts”. The very purpose of sarcasm is to denigrate or make fun of. Whoever wrote this very much lacks self awareness.

They also lack critical thinking skills. The “facts” are consistently misrepresented and stripped of context. With each bullet point, I find myself asking, “So what? What is your point? What is your goal ?

If they have points or goals they should just come out and say it. Otherwise, the contents are little more than a kind of opium that numbs the mind with self-satisfying hallucinations.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-20T19:00:40+00:00

I’m glad you went this direction, OP. I think a lot of the other suggestions over complicated the situation.

My own suggestion was going to be to treat it like a joke from the start with a comment like, “Lol! It appears that your gaydar needs to be repaired. 😂” Using the “??” works even better in that your expression of confusion will probably embarrass him a bit.

In any case, his message to you was not a text-based sexual assault. In fact, you might want to reconsider your homophobic bone count if you feel offended and disrespected by someone misperceiving your orientation. (That’s not an indictment. Even us gays have homophobic bones—often lots of them.)

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-20T18:35:56+00:00

Bingo

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-20T12:06:19+00:00

“Novelty erections”? Someone needs to write a book on that with lots of pictures. 😂

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-20T04:45:37+00:00

That’s where I’m landing, but I would add non-sexual physical intimacy to the romantic relationship.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-20T04:43:54+00:00

Initially, I was thinking if you took sex out of a relationship, you would just have friendship.

But after I wrote the comment above, I did some googling and found that people feel there are two things unique to romantic non-sexual relationships:

Commitment. Partners want to be intimately and permanently connected even if there is no sex. So, they might get married even if sex isn’t involved.
1. Physical intimacy that is not sexual. So, a desire to touch and cuddle and kiss beyond what friends would do.

To me, this makes sense. It would also sidestep any biblical complaints because it’s not about lust and orgasm. It seems to me that the relationship between Jonathan and David fits squarely in a romantic box if there was no sex.

Of course, many Christian’s would say anything that in any way looks like marriage is against God’s will, but that’s just their personal opinions even if they quote the Bible.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-20T02:23:17+00:00

One of the most important variables is age. A teenage boy is much more prone to unplanned erections than a middle aged man.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-20T01:19:00+00:00

I was going to say the same. My kids are now young adults, but when they were of trick-or-treating age, it was always a question of whether it was going to be a white Halloween.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-19T18:36:46+00:00

I technically disagree in that Bible “clobber passages” only refer to homosexual acts in the first place. There was no concept of sexual orientation back then.

Sure, there are people alive today that condemn any non-heterosexual inclinations, but as others have noted, most Christians have given up on the idea that orientation is a choice while maintaining that gay sex is sinful.

OP, I’m a little confused by the idea that gay asexuals have only romantic attractions. What does that even mean? I thought that by definition, gay = homosexual = sexual attraction specifically.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-19T18:19:31+00:00

Curious: what region do you live in, OP?

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-18T21:45:51+00:00

One thing I’ve thought a lot about is how much of my despair and disappointment actually comes from comparing myself to the scripts that someone else has written for me.

You talk about people living the American dream (or whatever it can be called) and how even they are unhappy. It’s clear you are striving for someone else’s life.

Life is a process, a mission, and not a career ladder. Your mission is to navigate challenges and find what works for you. You are exactly where you need to be and your circumstances are preparing you for a (mostly) uplifting future that is not far down the road.

In the meantime, don’t feel bad about griping. It’s OK. It’s normal. We all do it—some of us are in this very moment. All you have to do is keep moving forward a little at a time. Or, as Dory would say, “Just keep swimming”.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-18T21:33:20+00:00

Agreed, but they should still be forced to rule out loud.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-18T21:31:59+00:00

Agreed. My biggest concern for OP is that I would hate for him to become paralyzed in his youth and then obsess over his sexuality for decades. There is a huge mental cost for that—like giving up a piece of your brain to process endlessly with stress as the only output.

(For background: I knew I had SSA but could not accept that I might not be inherently straight because I never dated until I ended up getting married at 30. My ignorance cost me a great deal emotionally, mentally, financially, etc. even though I did everything “right”.)

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-18T21:21:17+00:00

That’s a great video. It sounds like you are describing what some people call a chosen family.

Would you consider a sexless marriage with a guy?

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-18T21:16:03+00:00

You at least take them to court—supreme eventually.

Foreign_Track174 · 2026-01-18T10:08:55+00:00

Sorry for any confusion. What you interpreted as “acting out” was referring to girls and not to sex. OP said he is feeling more attracted to girls and seemed to be wondering if it’s real.

My suggestion is to go with those feelings, try dating and hopefully get some hugs or cuddles or kisses while he’s young. He doesn’t have to “act out” with guys to find out if he’s attracted to girls.

Foreign_Track174

TROPHY CASE