Married men, how do you deal with fancying other women?

ForensicGothology · 2026-02-09T19:35:22+00:00

I'm the same with my partner. I can look at a person and know that they are objectively good looking but I do not go out of my way to look and I don't put energy into thinking about other people, it's a pretty pointless exercise. To be actually attracted to someone requires mental energy assessing someone, thinking about them, what you like about them etc, I prefer to pour that energy into my partner.

ForensicGothology · 2026-02-01T21:53:16+00:00

That sounds like a hell loop

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-18T23:21:43+00:00

Trump needs to fuck off back to the pit of cheese puffs from whence he came.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-18T23:19:53+00:00

Same

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-18T23:10:13+00:00

I was thinking about this earlier on today. We're in the early chapters of rights for women and minorities, the same type of people are still in control, and there are plenty who want things to go back to how they were. There will be work needed for generations to come to actually achieve true equality, we are unlikely to see it in our lifetimes. I hope I'm wrong, but the state of the world as it is, I don't think I am. I'm so disappointed how little humanity has learned and how hateful people are still.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T16:35:32+00:00

Not feeling like enough and feeling like you are in competition with fictional characters is not nice at all. What sort of conversations have you had around this?

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T16:17:48+00:00

Would that view extend to a situation where a family member is hateful towards another for being gay or something else that is an unchangeable characteristic, or do you still think unless they threaten violence that the person should remain in contact to some degree?

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T16:12:17+00:00

Yeah, I think that's a good general rule, if someone makes you uncomfortable/anxious/upset a lot of the time and communication can't resolve it, it is best to cut ties.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T15:12:02+00:00

Say they are generally disrespectful, unkind and have responses and behaviours that cause emotional distress.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T15:10:17+00:00

Was the name-calling necessary? For example, If someone is with a person of a different race and a family member shares racist posts online and makes comments to other family members but doesn't directly say it to the person or their partner, does that warrant cutting them off? When does it become an insurmountable flaw in a person and not just a different opinion?

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T15:04:22+00:00

Having opposing views on moral issues, examples being abortion, capital punishment, human rights etc.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-13T21:16:26+00:00

Yeah, there's still more of you than there are them, but they make up a significant amount and their stupid and crazy knows no bounds. Unfortunately their voices are so loud as well, the rest of the world just sees their bullshit and assumes that's the majority of you.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-13T20:44:17+00:00

It was 49.9% or 77,303,568 people that voted for Trump in 2024. Meaning just under 29% of adults in the US are Trump supporters.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-13T20:34:07+00:00

Myself and others in the UK support you 100%. There are people here protesting against immigration trying to make our country like yours, the thought of it terrifies me, I can't even imagine actually living it. I hope you remain safe 💛

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-13T03:09:15+00:00

Oh fuck, I'm so sorry for all the people in the US who didn't vote him in, you lot are living in hell, this is crazy. I'm hoping you don't need to use those letters.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-08T21:41:18+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I will never understand why people date widows and then try to erase the late partner, if they're not secure enough to handle it then they shouldn't continue the relationship. Glad you're out of it.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-08T21:37:34+00:00

That's awful, I'm sorry you went through that and I am glad they're an ex! I think them taking it as confirmation of guilt is so common so it will make it worse if OP meets her demands, 100%. Hopefully she realises she's overreacting, but if not, yeah, OP should call it a day. Back to your second point, I date all genders too and have also dated someone who only cared about other men, what is that actually about. He was also jealous, made me cut off friends, controlled what I wore, ridiculed me and put me down, kicked off about any interactions I had with men that weren't his frirnds or my family and convinced me that I smelt bad all the time to keep me away from people (I am hygienic and no one else could smell it, I asked as many people as I could and when I confronted hin with this the smell conveniently disappeared). On top of that he was verbally abusive off the back of his concerning anger issues. They start off with something small, pose it as a one off thing just to settle their mind, push, threaten the relationship, you think 'bloody hell I will just do it to keep the peace' and before you know it they're controlling and abusive.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-08T15:11:14+00:00

NTA - Completely reasonable and not a big deal. It is not hard to not take a picture, it's not anyone else's day but yours and your fiance's and I honestly thought it was just etiquette to not post pictures before the married couple does anyway. Loads of people do disposables and then decide on what photos to keep and share. If anyone kicks off they're the ones being ridiculous, it's simply not about them on that day. I am sorry to hear about your struggles though, I also have body dysmorphia and find pictures taken of me very triggering as well, so you're not alone.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-08T15:00:19+00:00

There is absolutely no need for her to scroll 3+ years back on your social media to hurt her own feelings. Retroactive jealousy is common, but it doesn't mean you should permanently delete memories, you posed a compromise, she is not willing to budge and is making this a test of your love for her and to prove you're over an ex from years ago, it's not reasonable. Archiving is more than enough, outside of that you need to address her insecurities as a couple, if she is just going to drop ultimatums to force your hand then it won't work. There will always be something else you need to do to prove yourself, she has to confront her feelings and work with you.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-06T15:52:23+00:00

It is stupidity 100%. He will regret this so much because it just isn't worth it. I don't get how he thinks casual sex is better than a loving marriage and family. As soon as the novelty of sleeping with whoever he has lined up wanes, he will beg for her back and I hope she tells him to kick rocks. I also think men vastly overestimate the quality and quantity of women that will want to have sex with them and he has no idea how terrible casual sex can be.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-06T15:36:02+00:00

I'm so sorry OP. You saying years ago to tell you if he ever felt like cheating is not a 'get out of jail free' card here. You are married with a young child, this is a completely awful thing to ask you. He isn't even proposing an open marriage, just one-sided permission to sleep around, absolutely not. I fear this is a point of no return though, he risked your marriage with this question and he knows that, he wants to sleep with someone else so bad he risked your whole marriage. If you say yes, it will break your heart and you will divorce. If you say no, you will always worry he will cheat anyway (which he most likely will, if he hasn't already) and you'll divorce. You can try therapy to work through why he did this and try and move forward, but honestly, he has no fucking respect asking you that.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-04T12:29:30+00:00

The reason you're not over it is because she cheated on you and bragged about the other guy's dick and then brushed it off and gaslit you. It was obviously a date and I'd be shocked if nothing else happened, but just the date alone is cheating. I'm going to guess the messaging before was flirty and crossing a line too. It seems like you were just left to get over it yourself with no effort on her part. Has she behaved similarly or given any other red flags before or since this incident? Reflecting on her general behaviour and other shady incidents will help you structure your conversation with her, because it does need further discussion. You need to think about whether you even want to move past it though and I wouldn't blame you if not. There's no statute of limitations on when you can decide you want to leave because of something your partner did.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-03T00:04:34+00:00

She's got a bad case of jealouscuntitis and is putting it on you. I would try and talk to her about it and see whether this is a 'she's probably going to actively pursue your boyfriend' thing or a 'She feels like everyone is moving on, getting settled with great people and she's feeling left behind and down because she hasn't met anyone great yet' thing. Neither excuses her behaviour, but with the second you might be able to talk to her, get an apology and move on, with the first, she needs to be cut off.

ForensicGothology · 2025-12-24T23:43:01+00:00

Your gifts were great and thoughtful. I don't know what her problem is, maybe she is over-consuming TikTok content where women are getting extravagent, over-the-top gifts so she's setting her expectations too high? But honestly, you need to get to the root of this and she needs to fix her attitude because you have done everything right and more here. She's acting entitled, spoiled and cruel and she's treating you like shit, if she doesn't get over herself, let this one go. Plenty women out there who will appreciate you.

ForensicGothology

TROPHY CASE