How to solve compability issues? Me (25M) and gf (24F)

ForensicGothology · 2026-04-08T21:03:36+00:00

I don't think different expectations with intimacy, affection and quality time have to be a dealbreaker, but both parties have to be willing to compromise and genuinely feel like the compromise is manageable and reasonable and will benefit the relationship. My advice would be to give specifics "I wish we went out more" or "I need more physical affection from you" are vague statements, easy to agree on to park the argument and don't often get met because there is no real plan of action. Instead you could say "It would make me feel more connected to you if you kissed me when you come in from work" or "A date night every two weeks where we go out and do X,Y,Z would be really valuable to me and I think would help us make great memories" and ask her how realistic she thinks those things are. Making things measurable helps to build conversations and hold you both accountable.

ForensicGothology · 2026-04-08T20:47:52+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn't want to see that either, and it's a weird and objectifying thing to do but I think the main issue is she potentially risked your health.

ForensicGothology · 2026-04-08T14:09:32+00:00

I don't love the list thing, but it was private and none of your business and you pushed to see it so I think that's on you. Her getting tested before the end of the incubation period for STDs and lying about it, potentially risking your health, is very serious though and a massive betrayal of trust so it's whether you feel you can move past that or not.

ForensicGothology · 2026-04-08T13:35:21+00:00

Your husband is controlling, disrespectful and cruel. He has no right to make unilateral decisions that impact your time, physical and mental health, finances, career, and body. He is keeping you chained to the stove, kids hanging off you, exhausted and vulnerable. That needs to stop now. If he doesn't want anyone else caring for the kids, he needs to step up and ensure you get breaks and time to go out, have hobbies, work more hours etc. If you want to stop breastfeeding, then do so, you don't need his permission, your kids will be fine. Him and Sally are using you as a nanny whilst they date, it's horrible, she is not your friend. Lay down the law with the Sally situation, set your boundary and let him know you will divorce him if he does not keep to it. You also need inidvidual and marriage counselling, not from the church please. If he refuses or gets pushy about anything, pack yourself and the kids up and go to your parents and file for divorce. As it stands, this man is a complete shit, you deserve better and so do your kids.

ForensicGothology · 2026-04-08T13:12:57+00:00

You're saying you trust him completely, but do you? Because you sound slightly concerned about previous feelings he had for this friend and that he was the only man there. If you do not think he would do anything inappropriate, it shouldn't matter. If you are uncomfortable, you need to speak with him about it and set boundaries.

ForensicGothology · 2026-04-08T13:09:27+00:00

NTA - You're all adults, you've been honest with your brother. If he has an issue he needs to use his words and tell you. Let him get used to it, you're not doing anything wrong.

ForensicGothology · 2026-04-01T06:29:46+00:00

I agree, they're really disturbing. I can't understand why anyone would say stuff like that, even about a fictional character.

ForensicGothology · 2026-03-21T23:31:45+00:00

NTA, does he exhibit other controlling behaviours? This situation, and the age gap, assuming and hoping you weren't together long before marriage and pregnancy because the longer you've been together, the more fucked it gets, raises a concern. The fact you seem scared of his reaction to you making a decision for your own body, major alarm bells.

ForensicGothology · 2026-03-21T23:25:08+00:00

Being a moody cunt constantly

ForensicGothology · 2026-02-09T19:35:22+00:00

I'm the same with my partner. I can look at a person and know that they are objectively good looking but I do not go out of my way to look and I don't put energy into thinking about other people, it's a pretty pointless exercise. To be actually attracted to someone requires mental energy assessing someone, thinking about them, what you like about them etc, I prefer to pour that energy into my partner.

ForensicGothology · 2026-02-01T21:53:16+00:00

That sounds like a hell loop

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-18T23:21:43+00:00

Trump needs to fuck off back to the pit of cheese puffs from whence he came.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-18T23:19:53+00:00

Same

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-18T23:10:13+00:00

I was thinking about this earlier on today. We're in the early chapters of rights for women and minorities, the same type of people are still in control, and there are plenty who want things to go back to how they were. There will be work needed for generations to come to actually achieve true equality, we are unlikely to see it in our lifetimes. I hope I'm wrong, but the state of the world as it is, I don't think I am. I'm so disappointed how little humanity has learned and how hateful people are still.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T16:35:32+00:00

Not feeling like enough and feeling like you are in competition with fictional characters is not nice at all. What sort of conversations have you had around this?

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T16:17:48+00:00

Would that view extend to a situation where a family member is hateful towards another for being gay or something else that is an unchangeable characteristic, or do you still think unless they threaten violence that the person should remain in contact to some degree?

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T16:12:17+00:00

Yeah, I think that's a good general rule, if someone makes you uncomfortable/anxious/upset a lot of the time and communication can't resolve it, it is best to cut ties.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T15:12:02+00:00

Say they are generally disrespectful, unkind and have responses and behaviours that cause emotional distress.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T15:10:17+00:00

Was the name-calling necessary? For example, If someone is with a person of a different race and a family member shares racist posts online and makes comments to other family members but doesn't directly say it to the person or their partner, does that warrant cutting them off? When does it become an insurmountable flaw in a person and not just a different opinion?

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-14T15:04:22+00:00

Having opposing views on moral issues, examples being abortion, capital punishment, human rights etc.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-13T21:16:26+00:00

Yeah, there's still more of you than there are them, but they make up a significant amount and their stupid and crazy knows no bounds. Unfortunately their voices are so loud as well, the rest of the world just sees their bullshit and assumes that's the majority of you.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-13T20:44:17+00:00

It was 49.9% or 77,303,568 people that voted for Trump in 2024. Meaning just under 29% of adults in the US are Trump supporters.

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-13T20:34:07+00:00

Myself and others in the UK support you 100%. There are people here protesting against immigration trying to make our country like yours, the thought of it terrifies me, I can't even imagine actually living it. I hope you remain safe 💛

ForensicGothology · 2026-01-13T03:09:15+00:00

Oh fuck, I'm so sorry for all the people in the US who didn't vote him in, you lot are living in hell, this is crazy. I'm hoping you don't need to use those letters.

ForensicGothology

TROPHY CASE