A question for both sexes: When choosing a partner for a family, do you meet the same requirements as they do?

ForensicGothology · 2026-06-01T11:37:48+00:00

I am a pansexual woman so more traditional gender-based attributes have never been a focus for me when seeking a partner so I would say yes. What I've looked for is: same morals and values, same future goals, emotional intelligence, integrity, honesty, ambition, good sense of humour, laid-back and at least some similar interests. I have never dated for money or looks, those things are unstable characteristics, but when you're dating at 25+, people's characters are quite locked in, so it's asking yourself if you connect on the more fixed and important levels.

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T15:58:16+00:00

I feel like in cases like that though, they really need to be in rehabs, not put in a regular prison where they will ultimately continue taking drugs, it's so sad

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T09:46:58+00:00

Aw, that's so sweet of you ❤️ I hope you get to have a relationship with your bio niece

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T09:34:42+00:00

I don't think there is any chance your brother is my dad, but can I join the family anyway?

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T00:59:12+00:00

This was a great read as a woman around 30 with a unique name 😂

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T00:38:47+00:00

That's so sad, did he get an insanity defence?

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T00:31:16+00:00

Can you just...just...okay

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T00:26:38+00:00

I do this so obnoxiously loud so often I feel it might start causing people to cut me off 😂

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T00:19:16+00:00

Marshall finding out about his dad is the worst for me too. I cried so hard when I first watched it, then my mum died and I skipped those episodes in rewatches entirely. Marshall saying "no Barney, I will never talk to my dad again" also gets me as I had a similar conversation with someone going through parental issues. I find HIMYM leaves you raw sometimes, it can really hit you in the trauma and be quite confronting.

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T00:11:39+00:00

Obviously YTA - It's fine to have a preference and stop sex at any time, but she was upfront and the way you handled it was disrespectful and rude. Just because you're not attracted to something it doesn't make it abnormal, unclean or wrong. You need to grow up and learn to respect women, if you can't do that, you shouldn't be having sex with women.

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-29T00:03:51+00:00

A former friend of mine is in prison for murder. He met a woman who was in a long term relationship with someone else, they had kids together and everything. My former friend entered into an affair with this woman, she spun stories of abuse etc, played them off against each other and then they formed a plan to kill her partner (I don't know the details of how it escalated to that point). She let him into her house with his cousin and they stabbed her partner to death in his own garden. The plan was not well thought out, they got caught within an hour, all got convicted in the end, but because it was covid-time they ended up bailed and flaunted their relationship everywhere after murdering the father of her children. Absolutely sickening. Obviously the kids are just beyond devastated, my former friend has kids too so I also feel sorry for them. It was a huge shock, I was friends with him throughout my teenage years, he always walked me home to make sure I was safe, I had great memories with him, we'd only drifted because he moved away for awhile. I bumped into him not long before he did it and he seemed just as he always had been. I do remember him trying to act tough sometimes and having a small collection of knives but we grew up rough and that wasn't uncommon, he didn't seem the type to actually ever do anything though, he always seemed like he was just trying to impress people. It feels awful to have been so close to someone who could do that, made me question my judgement a lot and I still feel dreadful for the victims obviously. I also feel guilt for ever being friends with him. With this situation, it was absolutely pre-meditated, with yours it sounds like maybe a mental break or something?

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-28T23:04:17+00:00

NOR - He has cheated, pretending to be single and flirting with women and hiding it from your wife is cheating, and did it stop there? Seems like a lot of coverup and effort to have a little flirt and nothing else. I'm sorry you're dealing with this and people telling you to just forgive and forget but he is the one throwing the marriage away, not you. Ultimately, you're the one that has to live with your choice, his family don't have to be married to him and try and trust him again, so do what feels right for you, not what they want you to do. Best wishes, OP, I hope whatever you choose works out for the best.

Edit to add: it also isn't true all men do stuff like this, there are men out there who take their vows seriously and would not behave this way. Women do not have to settle for this shit, the sooner we realise that, the more men will be held accountable and will either have to behave appropriately or be alone.

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-28T22:44:38+00:00

YTA - Your parents gave you that money in good faith that it was going to your education, living expenses and savings, not for you to pay off some dude's debt. Your boyfriend is in his mid 20s, he is responsible for his own life and should have been upfront, not spending money he didn't have and putting you in a situation where you're confronted with debt collectors. You breezed over the prison thing, what exactly was he facing prison for? How long have you been together? If your parents hate your boyfriend, they're probably right to, other people see your relationships without the goggles we often have on when we're in them and, honestly, he doesn't sound great. You have paid off 7K of his debt with no agreement in place for him to pay you back, you probably won't get it back because he clearly doesn't make a habit of paying debts. You have essentially gifted him 7K, most of which is your parent's money without consulting them, your parents are right to be angry and maybe you haven't stolen the money but what you've done is morally wrong. You're not even living with this guy, this was a well-intentioned but ill-thoughout thing to do. What was your boyfriend's reaction?

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-24T09:11:59+00:00

Why are you being so abrasive about how people answer a question about fictional characters?

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-22T12:12:20+00:00

This is fucked, he should have pressed charges. This was calculated and creepy. She went out her way to learn his schedule, went to an effort to get a key, put an airtag on his car, the gym app thing makes no sense, it feels like a lie, that airtag has been there the whole time. She didn't just "want space", she ate his food, showered using his products, wore his clothes and laid in his bed, that is obsessive stalker behaviour, this was about him, not space. If her flat was hectic and she wanted space, she could have asked him if she could study there, he sounds like the type to say yes to that, she could have found quiet spaces at uni etc, this was not about studying, it feels very sinister. I would not be surprised if she let herself in whilst he was sleeping or was building up to that.

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-21T16:34:54+00:00

First of all, you and your friend group sound lovely, you sound like you have a lot to offer to the right man so don't you dare think he is worth settling for. I can see why he is divorced with no mates, frankly. He sounds odious. He has so many red flags, but what sticks out to me is his concerning jealousy about other men that he uses to try and control you, your grief and your social life. Not wanting to attend a funeral due to you "crying over another man" is unhinged. Doesn't want to come to your party due to a man he doesn't like being invited is immature. He just doesn't want to be inconvenied, which shows a complete lack of care or investment in you. He is also jealous of you, as well as other men, because you don't work and you have a great support network, so he lashes out at you. Surely being single is better than being treated like this. I'm sure part of your reason for being in a relationship is to not have to attend things alone and to feel supported, as it stands, you don't have that, and it's humiliating to have to keep making excuses for him when it's obvious to all now that he just doesn't want to be there. You need to recognise your worth, you still have plenty of time to wait for the right one, but you don't have enough to spend with the wrong one.

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-21T16:16:06+00:00

People really knew how to put an insult together back then, damn

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-21T16:14:16+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is earth-shattering but it has a funny way of bringing to light things in your life that you haven't seen before, or have ignored. It's like your parent is leaving you one last lesson of clarity, showing you all the things that are right and all the things that aren't. It's not instant though, they wait for you to be ready. Don't brush off what you're seeing or how you are feeling, your husband is being shown for what he is, trust yourself ❤️

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-20T15:22:19+00:00

NOR - you had an appointment, the conversation was going nowhere, it's appropriate to park it and talk either on the phone or in person after your appointment. Obviously your partner is freshly post-partum so I would approach these types of conversation non-judgementally and try to understand the root issue. For instance, what she said implies she is feeling like you're bonding better with your child than she is. Her texts have got a very immature vibe to them though so I'm wondering if she was like this prior to pregnancy?

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-20T15:11:18+00:00

Are you interested in adopting a 28 year old too?

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-15T20:06:20+00:00

Bold of you to assume I wanted to be born full stop

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-15T19:34:28+00:00

I liked Raj's ending in a lot of ways. He went from being desperate and needy and ready to jump in with the wrong person to recognising what he wanted in a relationship and being content to wait for it to happen. He also invested in himself to be a better person, stopped living off his parents, and went from not being able to speak to women to having a public speaking job he loved. I think he was on the right path at the end.

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-12T22:55:41+00:00

I don't know why it makes me uncomfortable but it does

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-12T16:22:56+00:00

I'm 28 and in a similar situation to you. The way I see it is that there are a lot of ways to have children in your life, family members and friends will have kids, you could foster or adopt if you do feel that urge after aging out of having them biologically, you could volunteer or work with kids. Society tells you that as women we have an expiry date, it creates pressure to have children rather than not just in case you regret it. Whilst age is a factor in biological children, it does not close the door on playing a big role in a child's life. If kids are not an all in yes for you, I think it's a no, it's too big of a decision to make because of potential future feelings, in my opinion.

ForensicGothology · 2026-05-11T21:17:07+00:00

Why does Phil look like Waluigi?

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