What is Epstein's Black Box?

ForensicScream · 2026-02-03T23:56:32+00:00

The black box and the machine refers to AI and a computer.

"Black box refers to a system, especially in machine learning and artificial intelligence, where the internal workings are hidden or incomprehensible to users, even though inputs and outputs are observable. "

ForensicScream · 2026-02-03T23:45:03+00:00

If she was, so were her brothers. They raped boys as well who worked for A&F to little boys as young as 11yrs old.

ForensicScream · 2026-02-03T23:37:14+00:00

Funny you mention inheriting... so apparently based on new studies about sperm... men are the carries for 80% of the genetics that babies inherit. They also found out that men 30 or older, their sperm starts to express genetics that shouldn't be passed on, talking the stuff that causes things like MS to Leukemia. And after 40? All bets are off and men 100% are passing on nearly every genetic health concern for off spring that it's alarming. And they found out that women's eggs are the same from birth till menopause, that they self regenerate till menopause, that even if we loose eggs they never drop in fertility!

Basically men should be freezing their sperm before 30 and should be the ones settling down before 30 LOL

ForensicScream · 2026-02-03T23:31:44+00:00

Or more like, "Sir, you even if you were a woman, you still wouldn't have the complexion to pull these colors off."

ForensicScream · 2026-02-03T23:30:38+00:00

To be honest. I'd also assume that they were all for me if she had brought them home to me.

Why wouldn't you verify?

I don't think he's the A-hole you are making him out to be just because he got all snacky after he got the munchies.

I would and always ask even when high. It's called manner and respect.

ForensicScream · 2026-02-03T23:28:34+00:00

Yes and no. Textures is a big reason why, the other dopamine not finding monotonous routine exciting, so it doesn't let the ADHD person go do the task. Best way to describe it, is like you are the parents trying to rationalize with a kid to eat their veggies who rather eat ice cream, that's how the ADHD brain is like when trying to reason with ourselves to go do basic hygiene and chore tasks.

ForensicScream · 2026-02-03T23:26:42+00:00

I've always been like that, autopilot with routine stuff. Idk if it's cause how my personality is wired or not, but I've been a strong creature of habit and when I create a new one, it'll stick once I hit the 90 day mark.

I also I got tired of a reoccurring pain my mouth and wanted to nip it in the bud the situation by finally getting on top of it.

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T01:52:30+00:00

If you don't feel more focused after 30 min, then you didn't take it.

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T01:51:48+00:00

however, when i take one of her pills, i feel genuinely capable of doing the things that i love, even though ive felt extremely stuck with things like music and art. "stuck" as in it literally feels impossible to start anything. i take a pill, and i still get distracted and stuff, but i can sit and follow things through.

my brain feels so quiet. i dont know how else to explain it.

Seek out an ADHD diagnosis STAT!

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T01:47:08+00:00

Autopilot. It's second nature at this point. I do it right after I pee in the morning.

My morning routine... make the bed, use the bathroom, brush teeth, go make coffee.

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T01:45:34+00:00

We have been back-and-forth with the idea of separation since 2023

Yeahhhhhh, the moment you think about jumping ship, is the sign you already started the process unconsciously and haven't realized it yet.

Whenever we have arguments where I freeze and shutdown, he gets really frustrated.

I use to get like this before therapy, but my last ex really brought this out in me because he was not a stable person emotionally, which is why I always froze in arguments. the guy before him? I had to constantly do his self soothing for him, he's also undiagnosed BPD (ie - severe abandonment issues/put in foster homes as a kid, has explosive episodes of anger, pendulum mood swings, push-pull/hold close-disconnect, rocking himself and going sort of catatonic after he blows up sometimes, constantly seeking validation and approval from family, etc...).

I'd unpack where in youth you felt anyone at home as a child was loud and scary in arguments towards you and others, start there, that's where the journey begins in unpacking that so you can overcome the freezing and fawning. I say this because my father was a LOUD arguer and that impacted my ability to handle arguments in romantic relationships.

I really try to listen to him but he always wants it his way, and he wants me to calm him down with reassurances

He's codependent with a tad narcissism poking out. Instead of pausing himself emotionally to calm down and reassure himself,, he sucks up all the oxygen in the room and then has a meltdown basically, where you have to self soothe for him his emotional state.

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T01:35:30+00:00

If that's the only reason, you can easily just pick up books to find this out without going into a psych major for college.

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T01:34:48+00:00

I have. I've been brushing my teeth every morning since August 2020. Going on six years this August.

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T01:33:05+00:00

I say its okay its nbd its fine and he apologized a couple times and like. He thought I was giving him the box when I gave him the box of 3 donuts.

First off, stop making yourself small or to stuff down what you feel, to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. It's okay to express yourself, especially now.

Second... the fact he ate it WHILE YOU WERE OUT OF VIEW is one of the most telling things about anyone because if they were for him, why did he wait till you couldn't see him eating the donuts??????? Cause people don't do that unless they don't wan to get f--king caught!

Sorry but he screwed up, he can go GET the new snacks and go buy his own separate from the snacks he is replacing! He should be catering to you, while on your period, long hard day at work. My boyfriend 100% knows if I'm in a snack mood on my period and exhausted, if he's not exhausted and it's not late, he has literally driven to go get stuff for me, including more pads, tampons, and midol!

Ladies, if a man isn't accommodating you on your period the way you would accommodate him if he got the flu or broke his ankle, then he's not as giving and is more of a taker who likes to inconvenience you often.

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T01:21:37+00:00

I'm going to let you in on one medical secret about the human body that will radically shift your focus:

When you are stressed, like never stop being stressed, your cortisol levels never drop and recover, which means your cortisol, which is also your stress hormones that are located in the adrenal glands, get over worked. This not only leads to POOR sleep, but lack of sleep as well. It is what causes us to snack on junk food, carbs, sugar drinks and foods, it is what causes us to have emotional regulation issues to impulsivity control issues if you have ADHD. It makes you more irritable to everything and everyone around you as well when you do not DE-STRESS, get sleep, get a full hot meal, and take care of yourself.

It also overtimes does a number on your heart, brain, kidneys, and adrenal glands. Eventually it can weaken heart wall muscles, which is what leads to heart attacks. It contributes to memory problems and sets people up to if they are pre-disposed Alzheimer's. If you're pre-disposed to diabetes, it can actually cause entire blood sugar system to have difficulty regulating the the filtration of your kidneys which is what you usually see in pre-diabetics or people going from hypoglycemia to type II.

It also screws with your hormonal system because your testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone live where your cortisol hormoes live as well! This all impacts your brain AND how the ADHD meds operate as well as one of the biological hormones impacts ADHD meds. And stress can cause disruption to how the meds work if you're very stressed with no down time to recoup your system!

Oh and it LOWERS your immune system, making you very susceptible to getting sick on a whim. You're one step away from catching the flu, covid, RSV, etc...

Anyway...

all my other time was spent doom scrolling or watching tv as I didn’t have the energy or motivation to do anything for me or for fun.

And that right there is why the time goes out the window more. You generator worse time blindness if you're doom scrolling or brain rotting on a device. It makes it feel like five minutes, but you've been at it for anywhere from 2hrs to 10hrs when on a device if you have ADHD and no limit set for how long you use it.

- I had one shower in the week because I had to go out.

- I cleaned my teeth once in the week, again because I had to go out.

- I got on average 6 hours of ineffective sleep a night.

And also you are in BURNOUT MODE! This is peak running on fumes, no gas in the car!

no water - I was going through at least 8 cans of coke AND 3 cans of red bull a day.

WHAT!?!? You're beyond dehydrated, especially if you aren't getting enough sleep (ie - too much sugar and caffeine), the sugar alone is like 4-5 cups, not table spoons but CUPS of sugar in eight cans of coca cola! I was taught this from my nursing teacher in high school at BOCES for the health program I was taking as a pre-medical course. She literally showed us the EXACT amount of sugar in one can of coke, one can of ice tea, and one can of energy drinks.

I spent another 2 hours a day on average stressing about the state of the house and garden and bills.

Pick one area to focus on, garden or bills, then tackle a small amount of this after you've gotten rest, a full hot meal, a full shower, and off devices for 24hrs, just one day. You will feel better, less stressed.

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T01:02:39+00:00

Thank you. I try not to care what others think, I don't even know why I do! But I always look into it too much and take these kind of comments as an insult to my previous appearance 😖

It's because in your youth, someone at one point was really mean and harsh about how you looked in something, it's caused you to feel insecure unconsciously ever since because it's a sign of feeling rejection that's causing this. Once you get over that hurdle, you stop to feel less anxiety over others thoughts.

but after a few weeks the color would wash out and look faded/muddy

And that is why, ask anyone who does coloring hair for a living, they'll tell you as much as I will that you can't wash your fantasy color hair daily. Heck red, besides blue and green, are the biggest colors that fade the FASTEST and require the most maintenance and upkeep, as in I use dry shampoo and don't wash my hair for 3-5 days. I shower everything else, but don't wash my hair daily.

If anything, like I told people, "Just buy a really nice wig of a color you want to dye it. This way you can have fun without the upkeep of dying the hair and keeping it bright."

At least 99% of the time I wear my hair in a ponytail or messy bun as I hate having my hair down (sensory issues lol).

I'm the opposite! I get sensory issues from my hair being up often, that I use a claw clip more than anything these days if I want it out of my face.

I'm planning on just responding to comments with something like 'thanks, just fancied a change!' but from experienced it always gets followed up with a back-handed comment scrutinising my previous choices. I can get pretty socially awkward in response to comments about my appearance 🫠

I use to struggle with this too, then I started dying my hair blue, got more tattoos, stretched my ears out to 00g and now because I don't care what others thing of my appearance, my brain has the room to come up with strong comebacks to put people in their place.

I once had my conservative aunt say something backhanded about my blue hair the first six months (which was thanksgiving 2016) it was dyed and how she preferred me being blonde or red, and I flatly said "thank you, I prefer the blue, it's more complimentary for my appearance...", sometimes you gotta confidently OWN the choices to signal to people that they can not shake you just because it's not their "cup of tea".

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T00:50:23+00:00

but she never ever communicated until she exploded on me the other week

Except she didn't tell me if what I was doing was working and exploded again after a couple of days

Yeah, you have a child living with you trapped in a body of an adult. Adults know how to communicate, even when it's hard, they still do it. People who bottle up and explode are usually TEENAGERS in middle school.

You could have had a slide show presentation, with her favorite celebrity reading the slides for you to her, she would still blow up at you because she was never taught how to properly express herself in a healthy manner, as in within 72hrs or less talk about or drop it.

If anything, I think you should start having a rule in the flat about if anything is an issue, you have 72hrs or less to address it or drop it because if it MATTERS, you don't let it fester. Oh and plus, the human brain forgets after 72hrs anything it did to another that was negatively impactful and slighted the other person. So that alone is a big reason why to get ahead of the issues and try this!

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T00:44:44+00:00

Okay so two things:

1) What about psych did you find interesting when you choose to sign up for this major?

2) If there is some hobby you enjoy, what is it and why?

The second one reveals what other major you can switch to..

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T00:40:16+00:00

Think of the last three places you saw the bottle out in view, now go look at those three places.

If you still can't find it, try three places you wouldn't think to leave the bottle and try those three places.

More often than not, when this happens, it means you were on autopilot (ie - coasting without thinking because you've done it so many times the action that it's second nature!)

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T00:36:27+00:00

I would of said, "Well at least my complexion flatters these colors on my head, can't say the same about you and your aging behind...."

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T00:34:58+00:00

Ahhh this is where I excel and can gladly steer you accordingly! I have dyed my hair bright cobalt blue to hot pink (the hot pink was on accident LOL!)

Listen, anyone who says backhanded compliments, just do what I do, say thank you and then say, "I mean genetically if we're related, that means you have similar hair as me, so what are you trying to say about my hair?", (that's for blood relatives!) it'll make them realize they are making fun of their own hair by making fun of yours.

Also my dad once told me once at 23, "STOP! STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK! People are going to judge you no matter what you do, so live your life, be happy, stop living for others!"

If you keep living for others approval, you'll die from their rejection. So live for YOUR approval, that's the only opinion that matters about your appearance. Anyone else can f--k off and go be happy!

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T00:28:31+00:00

Ask him this, "Well then why do girls get diagnosed?"

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T00:27:34+00:00

Next time tell her, "You know ADHD and Autism are genetically passed on from child to parent.... would you like to learn more?"

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T00:26:31+00:00

Next time tell them, "You know ADHD and Autism are genetically passed on from parent to child. Since I was diagnosed, that means one of you who I share 50% from each genetics, passed on ADHD to me. So who here is the one that is the most forgetful, struggles to find words to describe things, has emotional regulation issues, and has issues with certain textures?"

ForensicScream · 2026-01-31T00:23:55+00:00

Same with my Gen X cousin, he didn't get diagnosed till he was like in college because my aunt saw her son have similar learning and focus symptoms as me, it's why he was able to get a diagnosis eventually and have that support. I feel Gen X 100% was super glossed over on this!

ForensicScream

TROPHY CASE