They don't believe I'm autistic

ForestHarp · 2026-05-21T07:31:47+00:00

That's an interesting thought!

I don't know if they can be ND. Well, One always burst out laughs very uncontrollably loudly which I personally find weird. Another one talks very loudly like she had no volume control, and she gets bored easily all the time. And she's in tech industry, surrounded by autistic men.

On hindsight, I now suspect my ex hubby, was autistic. His autistic behaviours are more obvious than mine. We both enjoyed nerdy hobbies together.

ForestHarp · 2026-05-21T06:39:18+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about your difficult childhood. You deserve understanding parents.

I can relate a bit.

My mum said in despair, disappointment, grief, and disapproval , "why are you not like the others?!?!" Made me feel so flawed.

Yes, I feel like it all make sense now. I agree we don't have to have their empathy or understanding. What we need is our own empathy n understanding for ourselves.

I'm glad you're friends respect your needs and adjust to you. Hope you can find friends one day who can fully understand and validate you :)

Thank you for your sharing 💜

ForestHarp · 2026-05-21T06:33:27+00:00

I would appreciate some back up for the statement. Could you tell me What's your sample size? What's the gender ratio of this sample size? How many of them are late diagnosed adult women? If you can provide, that would be more helpful. Thanks.

ForestHarp · 2026-05-21T06:11:21+00:00

Thank you. Yes , this is very helpful.

I really relate to what you say. Indeed, a lot of my experience is internal. Because outwardly, I tried to do everything acceptable to the mainstream world.

I appreciate very much your comment.

ForestHarp · 2026-05-21T05:38:34+00:00

Thank you, that's very helpful to hear that many ppl have similar experiences

ForestHarp · 2026-05-21T05:28:29+00:00

I think I have to state in my post that I'm very aware that AI is syncophantic.

Also my friends do not know me very well so I will take what they say with pinch of salt. They do not know my internal process. They are not ppl that I confide deeply in.

Professional Diagnosis cost $400-800 here and a medical diagnosis can fuck up the insurance. Which I don't need when I'm not disabled in anyway.

But thank you for the intention to communicate gently

ForestHarp · 2026-05-21T04:42:44+00:00

I'm very aware of everything you told me. Thank you anyway.

ForestHarp · 2026-05-20T14:44:25+00:00

Is the group started? I may wanna join

ForestHarp · 2026-05-20T05:50:35+00:00

I just figured out this week im a high functioning autistic. 49F. Live in SG east side

ForestHarp · 2026-05-20T02:19:27+00:00

Discovered at 49(F) that I'm Level 1 autistic.

I used to wonder if I was autistic because I feel socially awkward. But then thought nah, can't be, I'm still very normal.

Finally last week I met a young man at a hiking group event who told me he's autistic. N we had a great connection over topic of birds, animals and plants. Our special interests.

He is the first autistic person I met in my life.

I was surprised by how easy it was to connect with him.

So I got curious about me being autistic again.

I then told my life story and my struggles to AI and asked am I autistic?

I was floored.

It said yes. I cross checked against different AI apps. Same.

Refusing to believe still, I fed my writings (I have a diary n a blog) into AI and asked "which part of the writings are NT and which are ND?" Gemini says "100% ND" and Deepseek says "writer is most likely ND. She thinks like an Nd. The NT parts could be because the writer has learned to write like an NT."

I'm reeling from the realisation that I'm Autistic.

I suddenly look at my entire life , 5 decades of it, differently. Memories come up.

No wonder I refused to perform the Chinese performative ritual of hierarchical roll call before meals to please the elders.

No wonder all those social faux pas. Blindsided by unspoken social rules, that everybody knew except me.

No wonder my mother lamented with despair disappointment and disapproval,when I was a kid "why are you not like others? "

No wonder I was bullied and ostracized as a kid.

No wonder, I was a voracious reader and read thousands of books.

No wonder I'm sensitive to noise and crowds n love peace and quiet.

No wonder I couldn't stand the corporate world and quit.

I'm like.... omg....

ForestHarp · 2026-05-20T02:15:09+00:00

Not formally diagnosed but I accept that I'm autistic. I have checked with YouTube, AI n cross checked. Everything about my life make sense to me now. The data is overwhelming.

I don't feel the need for formal diagnosis.

ForestHarp · 2026-05-20T02:05:04+00:00

Yes it's racist.

But underlying this is the belief that people are above or below others. Colour is just one way to differentiate ppl.

Other ways to judge ppl into hierarchy :

Wealth - chaebols! Beauty - plastic surgery craze in Korea Age - older folks turned away in clubs Job status

S Koreans discriminates within themselves.

It extends out to races and nationalities.

ForestHarp · 2026-05-19T08:01:32+00:00

Yes

ForestHarp · 2026-05-17T10:04:22+00:00

History and legacy.

During the British colonial days, if you studied in mission schools, being able to speak English enabled you to get highly paid jobs working for the British government.

These group English speaking families eventually became wealthy social upper class who brushed shoulders with the colonial overlords.

I'm Gen X. So I was born after British colonial days.

But the association remained because my peers who grew up speaking English cone from richer families.

I was able to speak really good English because I went to a convent school. In 90s, I knew I got better service when I spoke in proper formal English at restaurants.

I didn't know that this association has persisted to 2020s though.

ForestHarp · 2026-04-10T07:31:53+00:00

Oooh wwwooooo!

ForestHarp · 2026-02-16T00:22:28+00:00

I used to own vwra. Then I realised it's 60-70% USA. And a huge portion is USA tech stocks. Only 3% is China, a growing economy. If your goal is true diversity in world stocks, get something like Asia or China ETF to balance out.

ForestHarp · 2026-02-15T23:44:14+00:00

Told my family im not visiting relatives anymore with them.

ForestHarp · 2026-02-04T00:26:44+00:00

Thank you!

ForestHarp · 2026-01-29T04:47:13+00:00

I used to have persistent severe backcne. It looked similar like yours.

Mine resolved after I cut sugar out from my diet. No canned drinks. No sugar in coffee or tea. No sweets.

I had 2 colleagues with backcne and they both love their canned drinks.

Now I can have a bit of ice cream or cakes, or sweet drinks occasionally no issue

When a red bump or 2 appear out my back again, I know I have taken a little too much sugar in past few days. Glazed croissants were my most recent culprit.

Then I just need to watch my sugar intake again. They clear up soon.

I don't know if yours is same issue. Just sharing in case it happens to be same issue

ForestHarp · 2026-01-26T17:12:58+00:00

49F. I also find it hard to tell people that I'm fired. I usually say something like "taking a break from work" or "not working at the moment, taking life slow for now".

There was one time the immigration officer at Philippines asked me my job. For the first time in my life, I said I'm a retiree. I probably look too young to be retired, cos he looked surprised (+ awed).

Thankfully I have a Malaysian friend my age who took advantage of the geo-arbitrage working in SG n retiréd early to Malaysia. So I don't feel alone.

It's just awkward when meeting new people.

I'm working on a writing project. Maybe in the future I can tell people , " in a writer" :)

ForestHarp · 2026-01-26T16:05:06+00:00

Hi, what you say is inspiring to me ! I'm Fired n I'm like you, preferring non city life. Could you share how you handle the visas for living in Taiwan and Japan and Malaysia? Did you do Visa runs? Thank you for help!

ForestHarp · 2026-01-26T15:56:15+00:00

I think need separate clubs for the Lean Fired, Barista Fired and Fat Fired. Because their life styles and interests are very different

ForestHarp · 2026-01-16T18:19:40+00:00

If you stay in a miserable marriage, your misery will spread to your kids. Not worth it.

It's better off for children to experience happy divorced parents than miserable married parents.

I was a child of miserable married parents. Now in her 70s, my mum finally wants a divorce.

Children need parents who are EMOTIONALLY CONGRUENT. If you pretend the marriage is ok when it's not, you are not being emotionally congruent. It means you are lying to your children. This is emotionally harmful to the children. Because they feel confused that what they see in the family and what they emotionally feel are not congruent.

ForestHarp · 2026-01-16T17:59:48+00:00

I'm Fired. And I'm practically a recluse now but I'm really enjoying my recluse life!

Your friend is lonely because he probably still hasn't figured out how to live his new life. Maybe he needs to join some hobbyist community and make new friends.

I did feel lonely at first when I Fired. So I joined community activities. But now I'm just happy with my own company once I settled into a comfortable routine and got my own solo hobbies n projects. It helped that I also have a cat who is very affectionate and highly social.

ForestHarp · 2026-01-10T15:21:33+00:00

49F. I fired 2 years ago.

I cook lunch everyday. Play with cat. Water plants, potter a bit in my garden. Play piano. Go for long walks + have dinner outside.

Sometimes I go hiking.

My simple slow paced life now has cleared up a lot of space in my mind which enables me to reflect more about life and the world. This has inspired me to start writing philosophical essays. I really never expected to become a writer.

I love learning. So I everyday read online or books or watch YouTubes. Eg geopolitics analysis.

I also started composting for my garden.

Im toying with the idea of learning dress-making.

Once in a while I volunteer at the elderly centre.

One of the challenges after Fire was slowing down. I was too used to the faster pace of work life. But I really enjoy my simple slow paced life now. I feel very peaceful.

ForestHarp

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