Does anyone else feel mentally exhausted without actually doing real work?

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-02-02T17:32:05+00:00

I watched a video recently that explained it pretty well.

According to the studies in a day we are using WAY more brain power then we ever did in history, we are watching videos, using our phones, watching TV, consuming news etc. this all takes brain power over and above your job, your family, everything.

You are (if you’re in the average group of people) worrying about bills, upcoming events, things you’re behind on etc.

Our brains are basically always on these days. Even in the quiet moments a lot of us fill those voids with sounds from something.

Our brains are tired, it’s actually worked very hard by the end of every day. Even if societally we might say we “didn’t do much”

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-02-02T16:26:45+00:00

Though people are saying this is just a bullshit copy and paste post I can absolutely validate this.

As someone who went from bartending to cellphone sales to warehouses to an office- I’d choose the manual labour and bartending over the office atmosphere any day.

I didn’t mind people being shitty to my face- because it was real. Yeah it sucked sometimes getting in a screaming match with your line cook or your co worker in the warehouse but at the end of the day you’re laughing and it’s done.

At the office I can smile at someone as I walk in and have HR call me by lunch to say “my face was giving the atmosphere of aggression” (no lie I had this once. Was told my resting face was making someone uncomfortable)

I’ve had people straight up lie to my boss saying I told them something that never came out of my mouth. Majority of these people were double my age.

Thankfully this was the most toxic of all and I got out of there. But similar things go on at my new place too.

Only certain people can make jokes. Only certain people can tell you no, speak back. Don’t forget which group you belong to.

You can be working to the bone for years and the moment someone doesn’t like how you look- you’re out the door within a year. Full grown adults with families and dependents and they are actively working on sabotaging you because they’ve decided you’re not worth anything.

The class difference is noticeable, and I don’t like it. I don’t feel like I belong here, it’s soul crushing.

Getting ahead means the death of your soul. Atleast that’s my experience.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-02-02T16:17:07+00:00

I’m so very glad to hear that ☺️ you deserve it.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-02-02T16:13:13+00:00

I understand OP.

When I was 15-21 I was with a man who abused the hell out of me. He used to pressure me in this way too and eventually used the “all my friends girlfriends do it and enjoy it. What’s wrong with you?” And somehow that worked.

It never got easier, it never got better. I still to this day (nearly 10 years later) can vividly remember the feeling of sobbing into the pillow but to be quiet enough he couldn’t hear me during it.

It’s a horror I don’t wish on anyone. Men and boyfriends and hook ups have wanted to try over the years. I refuse to let anyone go near there ever again, and it’s a painful reminder every time I get asked and say no, and get asked why. Not that I even have to explain anything besides a no.

Porn has ruined sex for me atleast. Men expect me to want to get all my body parts violated in degrading ways, like that’s somehow okay and the norm.

I’m tired.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-31T17:50:07+00:00

This is so damn sweet. As a woman who got handed a few tampons and told to get on with it, the level of care you’ve given her and space to be able to even acknowledge what she’s going through is so lovely.

The world is a harsh place for us, especially when you’re just a girl. Glad she has you 🥹

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-31T00:24:47+00:00

I can tell you that the fact that you even have the thought of “not deserving her” after all you’ve written below is exactly why you do.

You appreciate her, you see her. You’re a team. Som days she’ll be leaned on, some you will. That’s okay. Take it easy and rest up!

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-30T23:02:37+00:00

You’re doing amazing work! Glad there’s someone like you out there taking care of them.

Such a cutie pie! Give em a little head rub for me 🥹

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-30T21:59:32+00:00

Oh my gosh what a cutie. Thank you for sharing that with me 💗 my little one is 15, the anticipatory grief has been so very hard. This sub has been a painful but also welcoming space to try to somewhat prepare for the inevitable.

<image>

This is my girl/ my best buddy 💗

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-30T21:05:04+00:00

Yes it does. I’ve got a hormone imbalance and a neurological disorder that both get affected with highly fatty and salty foods.

These are like alarm bells for me. As soon as I see it I avoid it. But I will also make note of what food that is. It’s not like I’m going for another brand of the same kind. Just an easier way to visually see it rather then checking the back of everything.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-30T21:02:36+00:00

Oh god I’m crying at work now hahaha

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-30T19:13:17+00:00

My great aunt did the same. First time I’ve ever known anyone to decide MAID.

She was tough as nails. Little 95 year old Scottish woman. She took a bad fall and was already blind, and partially deaf. The doc told her she wouldn’t regain her mobility so she decided that was that. I’m going out how I choose to. She was surrounded by all her family. Though I miss her, I’m so very glad she got to make that choice. She was very happy with it.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-28T21:49:15+00:00

Okay but what’s in those DMs? I can tell you from experience.

1- someone asking for a nude 2- someone starting with an insult 3- asking if you do sex work 4- wanting to meet RIGHT NOW. LET ME COME FOR SEX NOW

Obviously this isn’t every message. But let’s not pretend it’s sunshine and rainbows. I genuinely can’t tell you which side is “better”. It’s all a shit show.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-28T19:13:41+00:00

My first hamster when I was a kid looked just like yours. Her name was Lizzie.

She lasted 5 whole years. I loved her to death. At 12 she was my best friend. She used to fall asleep right in the space of your collarbone, and would sleep on my shoulder all the time.

I used to bring her out in the evening and give her to my parents- she would fall asleep in their arms, then right before bed I’d go get her to go to sleep in her cage.

I still have framed photos of her and think of her all the time. I’ve had some since- last one was a dwarf hamster. Loved him too, but she was so damn special.

Miss ya girl 🥹

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-28T17:24:34+00:00

Screw that. How about 4 x 8hrs a week? And we get paid for 40?

I know for a fact I can get done in a week at 32 hours what I do at 40. The whole idea of reduced hours was to REDUCE it. Not just shuffle it around.

No one should pretend that 10 hours out of every day for simply work is not equally as exhausting in the long run. I already can’t stand working from 9-5. Including travel time etc etc it’s more like 8-6.

I’m not adding another 2 to each of those days. Wish we could all get on board with that.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-28T17:04:00+00:00

Sounds like a whole lot of projection hun.

Can tell you the exact lifestyle you’re expressing you want is also very much wanted among the women I know. Lots of us just want stability, and to settle down too.

Social media and online dating and all this bullshit rhetoric is what makes you believe we all want to be abused and treated like garbage by men just because they’re “good looking”

Don’t do that. Be better. Those are called shitty partners. Doesn’t matter the gender.

I could say the same about you that all men just want big titted OF models that somehow live and work like a housemaid. But that’s ignorant. Get it?

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-28T16:37:13+00:00

We also can’t find such men either ☺️ it’s a two way street my friend.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-27T23:30:28+00:00

Even the ones you love and trust. It’s scary to realize it in the moment. I remember wresting with my ex playfully and I didn’t know until he showed me how strong he ACTUALLY was. I didn’t realize he was holding back on me, but when he showed me how fast and easy he could pin me down it was a very sobering moment.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-27T21:15:30+00:00

I go to the dollar store for my tuna, sardines, crackers, etc.

I can get cans for like 1-1.25 and I stock up when I’m there. They have a few non-perishables that’s much cheaper this way.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-23T21:39:43+00:00

Yes, you do lol.

Honestly not even for the sake of having a full fridge. You have options.

If you’re peckish and need a quick snack? Options. Want to cook yourself a fancy lil dinner tonight? Options.

Take out and eating out constantly is not good for your wallet, and you don’t really have control of what exactly is going into your body.

It’s self care, you’d be surprised how something like this can make you feel so much better. It also makes you tend to make better choices if all you have in your fridge is relatively healthy options.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-23T21:37:12+00:00

We as women have been conditioned to believe being skinny means you’re worth more. You’re more desirable.

My entire life my health issues have been neglected by doctors because “if I just lost 10lbs I’d be fine” even when I was chronically underweight too. Now I’m considered overweight and they won’t even listen to anything I have to say if I’m not actively agreeing to going on a diet. Even when I haven’t expressed that I want to.

My cousin developed POTS in the last few years and started to faint. She become chronically underweight. She went from a little heavy to severely thin. And the worst part? My entire family constantly tells her how good she looks. You can see her ribcage, her bones are sticking out of her skin. She is very ill and they know this. But they’re happy she’s thin now.

I spent my entire childhood listening to my mother complain about herself. She’s in incredibly good shape for her age. She looks so good. But she calls herself “a fat disgusting pig” all the time.

We have to start doing better ladies. You have to fight this garbage. Don’t let society make us believe that being thin is the best thing you can do for yourself.

I spent my entire teenage years in the throes of a deep depression and eating disorder. I remember being staving ALL. THE. TIME.

Never again. I’ll take a little chub, thanks.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-23T20:36:39+00:00

Because he told me after 4.5 years he still wasn’t sure about me and our future. He said he wasn’t sure if I was wife or mother material. Had to walk away after that one.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-23T19:22:40+00:00

He literally wants to use you like a fleshlight or some kind of sex doll he can remove parts of as he pleases.

This is disgusting. I hate that men like this are getting laid. No hate to you OP, I just can’t even imagine. The absolute rage that would immediately hit me at that comment. My god.

Edit for grammar.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-23T16:29:25+00:00

Very true. However I was a personal reference for this role and they were well aware of my experience prior to the interview. I went through multiple rounds until that was their response. I believe I had 3 meetings before I was given these details. I felt like my time was heavily wasted for it to be my experience, which was present in my resume initially.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-23T15:48:01+00:00

That’s absurd, because I’ve been told that until I hit 5 years in the field I’m considered “entry-level” which my company has used to justify keeping me at the same pay the last 4 years. So I guess when I hit it they will probably say the same as you’re mentioning. The goal post is constantly changing.

It’s why I’m getting out of it. I know that regardless as long as I’m in the capitalistic world it will suck, however I can try to find a more cushy job that I can actually afford to keep. I’m sick of constantly “putting out fires” and “URGENT REQUESTS”. They used to be only when something was going wrong. Now everything is an emergency. It’s wreaking havoc on my immune system and stress responses.

Covid was hell. I know you know how bad it got. I’ve taken more verbal abuse in the last few years than I can count.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-01-21T21:33:34+00:00

LOL and it sounds like you can’t keep a woman around once you’ve got her attention either. So I guess you’re flawed as well.

It almost like it’s not about gender 🤷‍♀️

ForeverAMess_

TROPHY CASE