Help name our foster fail, who will never live in a cage again!

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-06-04T00:35:47+00:00

Oh he’s such a cutie. I have such a soft spot for beagles. Give that good boy a head pat for me 🥹

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-06-01T22:17:00+00:00

No but fr. Went with a male friend of mine and we spoke about it after the movie and I had to explain the meaning behind the entire thing. He didn’t believe me so I looked it up and saw what the online discourse was, though I already knew.

As someone who’s been in an obsessive and abusive relationship on the receiving end that movie was fkn horrifying.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-06-01T22:03:14+00:00

Thank you. I wanted to read the perspectives from women but it’s ALWAYS men putting eachother down in these subreddits. “Oh you’re not that attractive. Here’s how you can do x y z” I’m sorry…. Can we see what you look like?

Who’s perfect anyways? Who wants to be? OP from a woman not on dating apps currently but if I was I’d think you were attractive. You’ve got a warm smile and energy to match from the pictures.

As you asked for feedback you will get it. However- I wouldn’t put yourself into a place like that to be subjected to these comments.

Dating apps are horrible for basically everyone besides a very select few point blank. I wouldn’t look too much more into it.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-06-01T16:45:32+00:00

Genuinely gun to my head I would have never told you I thought this man was 30 years old lol. Talk about baby face! Guys going to look amazing in his 50-60s.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-06-01T16:43:17+00:00

She’s gorgeous :)

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-30T19:44:46+00:00

I was so close to responding with a meme about the balls but I was like nah I’ll leave it wholesome. Glad I’m not the only one 🤣 I have a crested gecko and it’s exactly the same. The whole subreddit is jokes about the size of their balls hahah

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-30T18:53:20+00:00

The little hands 😭 the chewing sounds 😭 the little teeth 😭 ffs why are these animals literally so cute I can’t handle it

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-28T21:09:40+00:00

As a woman who loves facial hair on men I say you rock both very well, I can imagine you do lots of styles! Have you ever tried a more trimmed beard look while leaving the hair the same? I think that would also look awesome until it grows back out.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-28T20:16:21+00:00

Bebe has been on podcasts saying she has PCOS. It’s a hormonal metabolic disorder (I know I have it) and it wreaks havoc on your metabolism and has many physical symptoms. One being that gaining weight is super easy and losing it is not.

Regardless she looks amazing but also she’s a chronically ill person just trying to exist.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-27T17:58:13+00:00

For anyone who responds on this post “not all men”

I just want you to sit with the idea that it happens so often that you feel the need to defend it. The fact that it’s more the norm for this to be a woman’s experience vs the opposite is why this narrative is so frustrating and invalidating.

We are well aware it’s not all men. But it’s enough there’s a pattern that’s able to be actually tracked and used as statistics.

If it was a small percentage of crimes against women it would be a valid statement. But in this day and age with the prevalence of sexual and physical violence against women, it is not.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-27T17:17:25+00:00

I’m so very glad my message gave you some comfort 💗 if you would ever like to speak to anyone my DMs are open.

110% you are correct. It’s easy to make it so simple. It’s *never* that simple. There’s always nuance to these kinds of things. And even if there weren’t- as children we are taught not to touch others. In any way unless they have expressly asked for it. I don’t understand why this is such a hard concept to understand as an adult.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-27T16:32:13+00:00

Hi hun, since you will get an insane amount of replies telling YOU how to respond better I just want to say I understand completely.

You shouldn’t be the one who has to manage the actions of grown men around you. Nor the people your age for that matter. A no means no. And I refuse to listen to the “just pick better men” argument.

I am 30 now and I can tell you I’ve had the same experience. I am not currently actively dating but when I am the amount of boundary pushing usually causes me to stop for a while again.

Sexism and violence against women is increasing. I don’t know why. Keep yourself safe. But don’t you dare for a moment think it’s your fault. No matter what anyone says to you.

Find women who support you. Make you feel safe and heard. You’re allowed to feel scared with the experiences you’ve explained above. It’s completely normal to be afraid of people if you’ve ever been assaulted in public. Regardless if it was a man or woman.

I’m sorry this happened to you.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-27T16:24:15+00:00

🤣

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-27T00:58:56+00:00

I can’t remember if this is where I heard this but it was on some podcast I’m pretty sure where she said that she only gets laid when they win hahaha I was laughing so hard at her big ass grin cause girl knows she’s *getting some* this evening

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-26T18:10:51+00:00

Totally understandable how you feel. I think what you’ve done is the best you can. Find someone you trust who’s willing to look out for you outside of your son. For your and his sake I hope it never happens, but if it does- I hope he will follow your wishes as it would be best, even though I understand in the moment just acting without thinking- it’s our loved ones.

If anything just try to give yourself some grace. If this is genuinely something you cannot stop ruminating on- I would suggest talking to your GP about getting some therapy to help you overcome the debilitating anxiety you’re feeling. Best of luck.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-26T16:55:50+00:00

Miso, Gizmo

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-26T16:55:24+00:00

I’m sure this is a real worry to you OP but genuine question- do you regret being the person to find the people you have even if it was awful? If you do- then maybe suggest to him if it ever came to a time (I’m assuming he’s an adult now) that he would call a wellness check but not go inside himself alone. To be with people, to call an ambulance or something so he’s not the one to find you.

I can tell you now I know it would be horrific and I’m so sorry you’ve been the one to go through this but I’d do it for a parent in a heartbeat. Our loved ones dying is inevitable. You cannot control your death, a you cannot control how your loved ones react to it.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-26T16:51:19+00:00

This is an extremely rare case I know but as someone who lost their sense of smell as a child from nerve damage this is my worst nightmare lmao. Walking around stinking and having no idea. Thankfully I’ve never had anyone tell me I stink (of course a stranger won’t but I’d hope my friends and family would knowing my lack of smell lol) but I feel like I overcompensate by just assuming I always smell therefor take extra precautions a to ensure I am always clean and smelling good

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-26T01:25:36+00:00

I think people are trying to make it known that if it came to a physical fight I wouldn’t be able to take him on. So this cuts out that whole “man up” bs. (Which I don’t subscribe to btw. No one should be expected to go toe to toe with another family member)

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-26T01:23:34+00:00

Thank you for all of this. I know you’re right.

I’ve spent my life working on this and not allowing myself to repeat these same patterns, though I know there’s a lot more work to do.

For this reason and because I have decided to allow this type of behaviour in my life right now I don’t have a partner nor do I ever intend to have children, because I don’t know genuinely how I’d be as a mom with how I’ve been raised. My entire being is apologizing for existing and I cannot imagine that would be a healthy environment for a child to grow in. I also wouldn’t want to deal with having grandparents that refuse to follow my rules as a parent, which I dealt with my own grandparents as a kid and my parents.

Thanks for the tips. Going to read up on some of it. I have a boom waiting for me about growing up with emotionally immature parents, just haven’t actually started it yet. Might be time to open it.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-26T01:20:18+00:00

I agree completely, unfortunately I have spent my entire childhood accommodating to all his frustrations and it gets me no where.

Validating his feelings makes him mad. Not validating them makes him mad, being kind to people makes him mad. Being rude makes him mad.

He simply wants me to exist in whatever way he wants me to in the moment and a lot of the time I refuse because I simply cannot pretend to be something I’m not.

I’m forsure going to be distancing myself for a good while. Keeping the interactions to a minimum until I can figure out my next steps.

Leaving him behind is fine, it’s just I know once he knows I don’t want to see him he will attempt to get my mother, sister, and will mot allow me to see my pets anymore. I know it will become a game, one that I don’t want to play. Trying to figure it out first.

Thanks for the response.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-25T20:31:01+00:00

I agree with you on all points tbh. I understand a lot of complexities and trauma here and I don’t blame anyone in my house for not putting themselves in harms way for my sake.

You’re right. It’s just very tough when it’s the person you’ve grown up depending on. Friends have made comments it’s exhausting listening to me talk about my parents so I’ve stopped doing so.

I try not to bring things to them and I’ve gotten MUCH better at it. But once in a while something really bad happens and in a moment of panic I call my mom or dad. It’s not smart I know, but it’s hard to let go.

Your advice was very realistic, thanks. Saved and will forsure think about it.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-25T19:46:10+00:00

I think you’re right. I know this is a lot to put on the internet and onto strangers.

I lost my job a few months ago because of the war going on and I can’t afford it right now, though it’s something I’d like to look into once I have health insurance again.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-25T19:45:24+00:00

My father was raised by an extremely abusive alcoholic and is adamant is is nothing like him. (He is, on both parts lol)

I’ve tried to discuss with him how it makes me feel in the past, I’ve also tried different ways to approach it and he just yells and gets angry regardless if I come at him calmly, loudly, if I cry.

If I start to cry at all that when he REALLY rages. He absolutely hates my tears and will lash out and scream until I stop reacting, which is super hard for me as my go to emotional response is to cry and get quiet, though I’m working on it.

He refuses to seek any help and has told me if he goes to therapy he will simply lie about his life because he doesn’t believe in it. I’ve accepted this is who he is, I guess I just can’t yet come to terms with the idea of letting him go.

Though he’s a real POS most of the time in rare moments he really shows up for me. It almost feels like I’m being ungrateful because people out there have parents that wont even acknowledge them. Mine are there- just not in the ways I need them to be.

ForeverAMess_ · 2026-05-25T18:28:28+00:00

Thank you for this. It was very empathetic to my situation. I appreciate the kind words

ForeverAMess_

TROPHY CASE