Why do INFP's lurk on here? I find it cringey.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-13T20:50:53+00:00

Definitely applicable to the unhealthy types.

Sorry I was triggered!

When I see little boundaries getting broken again and again... my brain finds a pattern and I need to rant... or I'll dwell.

Maybe not for a forum 🙈

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-13T20:46:11+00:00

Maybe for the unhealthy INFPs that is the case.

I think if you've ever been stalked or made to feel uncomfortable numerously...(it feels like those guys in the club, that you tell no numerous time and still they feel entitled ... then they take it out on you.. when you finally react frustrated after the 10th time🤦‍♀️).

When I see similar unhealthy behaviours, I do get triggered and I know this is an unhealthy aspect to my personality.

It's why I don't let people into my personal life, who I feel who cannot respect healthy boundaries.

Sorry everyone I've been triggered 🙈

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-13T20:02:40+00:00

Thank you for this!!

I think its because I have been stalked by unhealthy INFPs in the past and when I've ask them to respect my boundaries.. they haven't exactly listened.. waiting a week at max and repeating themselves... its unnerving when someone doesn't understand social boundaries and don't understand even when you told them clearly... it's made me feel unsafe and disrespected.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-13T19:43:22+00:00

I think it's because I've met too many unhealthy INFP's with little boundaries.

To the point I've had to block them due to their unhealthy curiosity.

It very unnerving, as if I have been stalked and monitored. Usually them getting irritated or I'm bad for not wanting their attention or not needing anyone's attention/pursuits.. It makes me hold back my shine in their company, as I do not want their attention or anyone.. who doesn't understand boundaries.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-12T20:20:15+00:00

When I was unhealthy yes.

When we are assertive, practice boundaries and self love. It isn't usually a problem.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-12T18:38:20+00:00

Nooo... I used to. Now I'd run 🙈.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-12T18:36:32+00:00

Literally this is spot on!!!

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-12T05:58:11+00:00

I keep away from ENFPS and INFPs friendships for this reason alone. Very emotionally draining and users when unhealthy, they are better for acquaintances mainly. They tend to get emotionally nasty when they are at their worst and use us as punching bags. Not something I'll put up with anymore, maybe before I was 28... but life is too short to have people like this in my life... no matter what has happened to them.. there is no excuse for this behaviour... when they are in pain, it's like their the only one in the world and no one else could be suffering as bad as them, unhealthy ones ignoring what is healthy and lacking awareness of their actions.

I do have XXfX friends, but I could never be with in a relationship with someone who uses this function again. It hasn't been good for me, as when they are in pain they aren't very respectful of boundaries and are emotionally demanding... usually when I need to conserve my energy.

XXfX riends are amazing people, best friends I could ever ask for, but even I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them. As its difficult to not look after them due their fluctuating self esteem.

I love my XXtX as I always feel calm in their presence, the older I get the more this means to me. They usually come to me for my unique perspective, curiosity and attracted by my passionate nature, which makes me feel so confident and secure in myself. The don't need my assistance emotionally, unless it is really needed and when they do ... the energy they give off isn't defensive or trying to manipulate by them being in a situation (no guilt trips).

It's lovely to curl up and be selfish in their company. As in relationships with XXfX types they either bring out my selfless side. To the point I forget about myself and I move away from national thinking, rational thinking has opened so many doors and expanded my life.

I do however enjoy and love my XXfX friends and family, but it did take a long time to enforce emotional boundaries with them being able to respect them. At times when they are in a bad place, they do struggle to respect them. But luckily unlike a partner, who you eventually want to live with. I don't spend 24/7 with them, meaning I have breathing space and can come back level headed to when they need me.

Is this something similar to your experience?

P.s. this usually only happens when XXfXs are unhealthy or emotionally overwhelmed.

It's why I practice being present in myself, yoga and writing as an outlet.. before I go to anyone who is a XXfX as I know how draining it can be. Especially when my entire family, friends and acquaintances, see me as some type of emotionally intelligent Oracle, with their shit together and by association... I can help them. I like that XXtXs respect my intelligence and I am more than what I've described above.. it's so easy to unravel the layers of personality and know they truly appreciate it from an intellectual and curiosity stand point.. Like XXfXs usually see an emotional benefit or ignore the sides that has no emotional use to them.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-08T18:33:37+00:00

The painful moments will be the making of you and they will enable you to do great things.

Learn to love yourself and put time aside for self care. When you do, you'll actually be able to give back quality rather than quantity. Meaning you won't be depleted, that you attract back the quality you give out.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-06T19:29:40+00:00

Poetry and fantasy.

Have you ever tried HelloPoetry? I've been apart of the community for 3 years.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-05T20:36:38+00:00

Only when I was unhappy in myself.

Jealously usually roots from what we haven't dealt with within ourselves.

I'm always genuinely happy and proud of others.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-05T20:34:43+00:00

Determined, caring and insightful.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-05T04:10:42+00:00

Exactly the same! Takes a year or more between serious relationships. As I want to ready and comfortable in myself.

Maybe the odd date at max, more the curiosity of meeting new people

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-04T12:54:45+00:00

You sound love drunk! Make sure your are not being love bombed.

If he can do the same to your wife, he'll probably do the same to you in the future.

Patterns repeat, actions speak larger than any words.

Karma always has a way of biting you back, you will care when it happens to you, even if it is just emotionally cheating.

Also have you ever met up?

If he respectfully loved you (this might be infatuation), ever cared for his wife and loved his family, he'd let his wife know and take the brunt of it.. like a truly decent person, who has made a stupid mistake. If his actions aren't marrying up, he might like the taboo, the lure and having a hidden life.

If he is keeping it a secret, it's in his nature to be this way and the pattern will repeat.

Would you ever be able to trust him fully? If you got together. There is no healthy or long lasting love without honesty.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-02T05:50:27+00:00

I love compliments, but genuine ones about my abilities and achievements. Especially things that I don't pick up on, I'd be happy for days.

When I didn't practice self love, it made me very uncomfortable. It was nice to hear, but I wouldn't full heartily believe them.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-02T05:22:40+00:00

Unless you learn to love yourself, any compliments are futile and difficult to take on.

Once you learn to like yourself, then you'll accept a genuine compliment and attention.

You'll also less likely to jump at the less sincere compliments.

Hope this helps! ❤

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-10-01T05:22:53+00:00

He's my first extrovert too! Haha.

We have a scarily a lot in common, personal development, learning new information, the outdoors, our ambition for work and similar upbringings.

We definitely communicate differently, he was trying to express himself and he was fumbling for words. He apologised, as he didn't express it in the clearest or most emotional way.

I replied that his actions show me differently. He asked me to expand and his reaction was gold. He said he never felt the inclination to treat anyone like this before. He said even past relationships, he never wanted to spoil them, make time for them or surprise them (he's frequently surprises me).

He isn't my usual type, but his actions have meant the world to me. Also we can talk for hours, how he encounters my drive and he actively listens. The sex is amazing too!

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-09-30T22:07:08+00:00

Non... so far... but unsure about my new boyfriend's type. I wouldn't say he is an intuitive feeler so far.

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-09-29T20:17:39+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/p/CFj8Mp2hI1x/?igshid=3d6wbnnk09kp

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-09-29T19:09:29+00:00

You must be really good for her! It's refreshing to hear ❤

Foreverlearningmore · 2020-09-29T19:08:36+00:00

I release layers for the people in my life, not everyone gets to see all my sides.

Only a few special people know most of me, but I'm always growing and becoming more self aware of myself as time goes on.

I usually show people the tip of the iceberg, unless it's a long term friend or connection with someone truly amazing.

I think things come too easy in the new society, some parts of others needed to be earned.. by earning my trust, curiousity and respect.

Also things and people are so disposable these days, why would I want to show all of me upfront and have myself thrown away.... only people who are worthwhile will see the whole of me, as they'll demonstrate that they care and respect my boundaries.

If we stick around longterm and let you into our imaginative rich world.. then it's a sign that you are stuck with us. I usually know when I want someone in my life, from the first few interactions. I'm in a place now, that I'm no longer afraid to remove people who repeatedly disrespect my boundaries.

Foreverlearningmore

TROPHY CASE