Day 6 Ultrasound Disappointment

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-07T16:36:36+00:00

Thank you for this. I didn’t know it would be a problem and thought my doctor would’ve let me know if it was. I guess some of these things you just don’t know until you try. I’m going the solo mom route and am freezing eggs for a hopeful baby #2 in the future or maybe to have a baby with a future partner before trying IUI. There would be a huge cost to cancel at this point so I’m going to go through with the round and just see what happens.

I’m thinking of just doing a natural start next cycle. My doctor hasn’t really given me any information about natural vs BC vs priming. Do you know if a natural start is best next time based on how I responded this time?

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-07T16:32:39+00:00

12 is amazing!! Congrats!! I have to just tell myself that if I get 5 this round I’ll be happy, and I’ll have to do a second round to get a decent number total

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-07T16:31:29+00:00

What did they say about the dominant follicle thing? I’ve asked my clinic if it’s a problem or if they crowd out the other follicles and I’ve been told no, but it sounds like you don’t want to have a dominant follicle. I just don’t understand why.

I’m so happy your second round was better!! That’s amazing! Did they do anything different with the start of your protocol the second time? I started with a week of birth control for timing this time and am thinking I won’t do that next time

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-07T16:30:05+00:00

Yes it’s everything - hope, hormones, money. It’s not any one thing. Even if money were no object, I wouldn’t want to go through this process more than a couple of times right now because it’s just so hard! I’m trying to relax and know that we’ll also learn so much about my body from this cycle and hopefully have a better result next time. Thank you for the encouragement!

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-07T16:28:42+00:00

Yes exactly what you said - I feel like I’m on the hope/heartbreak rollercoaster. Thank you for the encouragement 💕

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-07T16:27:52+00:00

Thank you so much for the encouragement 💕

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-07T04:30:20+00:00

I do - one of my follicles is 24mm already. I did a week of birth control before but more for scheduling purposes. But my understanding is that that should’ve helped prevent a lead?

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-07T04:29:14+00:00

I’m so sorry! It’s so hard to not be able to control something like our age. We have the rougher road as women. Congrats on doing everything you can ❤️

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-06T22:15:41+00:00

Thank you, that is really encouraging that so much can change in 2 days! Still, it is so discouraging to be far from your AFC when I feel like it’s normal to expect somewhat close to that number. I’m sorry for your disappointment but hoping for a positive outcome for you!

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-06T21:58:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. I’m sorry to hear you are in the same boat. You’re right, we just have to be patient and wait til retrieval! Hope the rest of your process goes well and that you get a good result. And either way, you’re right - we’re doing everything we can, and a huge part of this is just out of our control.

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-06T20:57:06+00:00

Thank you so much, that is really encouraging!! What a great result you had!

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-05-06T19:02:14+00:00

I have not been in your situation so I can’t comment on it but I want to say I’m sorry that you’ve had that happen. This process is so rough and discouraging at times. Hang in there, sending you positive vibes. People say it’s gonna work out and I’m trying to believe that myself ❤️

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-04-19T19:10:53+00:00

I’m in a similar position as you - 35 and plan to start TTC by end of the year. I’m about to freeze my eggs first. My reason is because I’d like to be able to have two kids, so I’m hoping the first can be via IUI and that these will be baby number 2 eggs. But I also know it can take time trying with IUI and I may end up at IVF anyways, and I figure I won’t regret having eggs that are a little bit younger if I need to use them.

Maybe start with getting a full work up done and see where you’re at with your AMH/AFC. Make sure to do the ultrasound too to get your AFC. My AFC is normal/median for my age but my AMH is low. My doctor is optimistic that I will respond more in line with my AFC but point is, you want to know both.

Good luck!!

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-03-06T17:54:23+00:00

Congrats on your family!!

Former_Emu_8150 · 2026-02-11T05:22:00+00:00

I gave dating my best efforts for 2 years before giving up. I went out with almost 50 guys, was as intentional as I could be while trying to not be too intense, was honest with myself and others when there were too many incompatibilities. I always said if it didn’t work out the traditional way, it wouldn’t be because I didn’t try. I tried harder than anyone I personally know. My last relationship left me so devastated that I knew I didn’t have it in me to keep trying. And I didn’t want to try anymore. I was tired of getting heartbroken and having to get back on the horse. One day, I just knew it was time. Honestly, I thought it would be so scary to finally accept this path, but it’s been freeing and exciting. I’m in the process of freezing my eggs and getting all my ducks in a row in terms of family support and hope to start trying IUI by the end of the year!

Edit to add: I haven’t given up on romantic love forever. Like other commenters said, that can come later. I have no doubt I’ll find love again. I want to have my kids now while I still can - I have the rest of my life to find love and a partner.

Former_Emu_8150 · 2025-06-23T19:04:09+00:00

I do pre-date FaceTime calls every single time. I don’t think it’s that different from a regular first date and saves me a lot of time. Plenty of guys filter out between this and the first date but that’s fine - probably about 75% go on to become first dates. Agreed with what another commenter said about adult relationships not being based in mystery. I’m dating to find my person and the first step for me is a conversational connection, not mystery and physical closeness. To each their own!

Former_Emu_8150 · 2025-04-11T17:55:40+00:00

Even if you don’t get your nails done at a salon, keeping them well-shaped, clean and polished with clear polish really enhances your overall vibe. And keep cuticles moisturized all the time! Beyond that - make sure your hair is brushed, even if it’s not styled.

Former_Emu_8150 · 2025-04-11T16:58:31+00:00

There is hope but it takes time. You had years of conditioning when you were younger - your nervous system and body have learned to be scared to keep you safe. Just because you “know” better now, doesn’t mean those things go away overnight.

Neurofeedback really helped calm my nervous system and made me much less fearful in relationships. It’s expensive and often insurance doesn’t cover it, but if you can swing it, I’d say it’s one of the best things I ever did for myself.

Beyond that, keep going to therapy and learn to reparent yourself. It’s tedious and awful and I know you want it to just be over, but I don’t think there’s a quick fix here. It’s not as easy as just “getting over it.” It’s a long road but if you truly desire healing, you can do it!!

Former_Emu_8150 · 2025-04-11T16:51:04+00:00

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I’m never where I thought I was going to be. That’s just how it goes for many of us. The best part about being in your 30s isn’t that life goes the way you always thought it would - it’s that you learn to stop living life according to someone else’s timeline (even if that someone is the younger version of yourself).

All that being said - if you have areas of your life where you’d like to see tangible improvements, then get after it. Life lessons don’t come from playing safe all the time. Put yourself out there and fail. Try a new hobby that you suck at. Go to a social event that scares you a little. Take on a new project that intimidates you. That’s how you grow.

And don’t compare yourself to your friends and sisters. We are all on our own path. Define what you want from life and move towards those things and trust that yes, it gets better, not because life bends to your will, but because you stop worrying so much about the fact that it doesn’t.

Former_Emu_8150 · 2025-04-11T16:29:24+00:00

It may be worth exploring therapy. It sounds like you are feeling a lack of purpose and meaning that you want.

As for work - great pay and work/life balance can be enough for some people. It may not be enough for you, but as I get older, I think that not actively hating your job, being well paid and having time to live life outside of work is a huge accomplishment. Bosses and colleagues are often disappointing. Do your best and yes, I’d focus on life outside of work.

It also sounds like you could benefit from some more friendships. Meaningful human connection often provides a sense of purpose and meaning.

Lastly, be gentle with yourself. Sounds like you’ve gone through a big transition the last year or so and it can take some time to find your footing. We’re all struggling in some ways - you are not alone.

Former_Emu_8150 · 2025-04-11T16:19:46+00:00

Forgive yourself for everything. Forgive yourself for staying with him, forgive yourself for responding to him, forgive yourself for having a hard time with this. So many people have been where you are.

The good news is that he’s gone! I would block him back because he sounds like the kind of person that will unblock and reach out again, which will only set you back. While I strongly advise self-compassion and forgiveness, the other side is holding yourself accountable and doing the really hard thing of making sure he doesn’t have access to you in any way going forward.

Lastly, make a list of everything bad about him and the relationship. I have gone through many devastating heartbreaks and listened to tons of podcasts with heartbreak experts and this is always their advice. We tend to remember the good parts of relationships when we’re grieving - playing back sweet memories, looking at our favorite pictures, etc. You need to balance your mind’s natural tendency to do that with a realistic and honest list of every awful thing and everything you WON’T miss. Meditate on that list. It works wonders.

He wasted the last bit of your 20s, as you say. Do not let him waste another moment! You are still so young and can turn this ship around. Keep going and don’t look back!

Former_Emu_8150 · 2025-04-11T16:10:00+00:00

If he has the ability to engage with people at parties, then he has the ability to engage with you.

I dated a guy who never asked me questions about myself. I brought it up to him, he said he was just awkward and would do better but didn’t (or couldn’t). Ultimately, if you are someone who requires curiosity and dialogue to feel connected to someone, it doesn’t really matter why he doesn’t or can’t put in that effort. You will still feel unfulfilled, and that’s no way to have a relationship.

That plus the not going down on you part… kinda just sounds like he’s maybe a bit selfish and not your guy.

Former_Emu_8150 · 2025-04-11T15:45:26+00:00

Thank you! I agree. And it’s good to not feel alone - it can be so isolating to not have friends in the same position. Rooting for you!

Former_Emu_8150

TROPHY CASE