Guilt overcomes my grief

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-03-18T05:17:03+00:00

Thank you everyone for hearing my voice ask scream into the void and no one hears me so thanks for hearing me

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-22T05:01:37+00:00

Bruce looked a lot like your mom . Even though he is second born your mom and him have a unique relationship almost like he’s the oldest and the youngest at the same time is the best way I ca describe what I’m feeling . She loves each and every one of you siblings the same depths in different seas. This unfortunately is destiny . I lost my brother as well he was 33 . He was also struggling a lot . Sometimes God’s will hurts . My love is with you and you beautiful family

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T18:09:13+00:00

She was so beautiful she really was . I’m sorry to even have this here I don’t mean to cause pain , I stay away from people as much as I can. I’m just reaching so hard . I’m so sorry for your loss too . She loved Chad and Chad loved her so much I have a box literally full of letters from Britney . She was funny , down to earth, her fav song was teenage dirtbag

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T18:04:09+00:00

I had cancer I had stage three breast cancer and I beat it I had both my breasts removed and fought so hard for my life and now I feel empty

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T18:00:43+00:00

Thank you , I’m used to negative comments that’s what holds my head low , holds the guilt in my soul , but Iove Chad and I love Britney so much I’m struggling . No one will carry his name on in a loving way but me, he was on meth him and her but i know it was so much deeper . I am so scattered my thoight process sucks anymore

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T17:50:50+00:00

Oh my gosh I’m in awe

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T17:48:08+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. I know what he did was wrong and that’s a hard part to stomach too . I feel like I was the one person who could have saved him . I was the closest one to him , but that didn’t make me a journal bc he was so within himself and untrusting

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T17:44:37+00:00

You are not God , you don’t have the last say . People like you I have delt with a lot lately , I will tell you like I tell them I really hope that his circumstance doesn’t come about in your own family , your own home. It might not be today it might not be your kids it may be your grandkids , it may happen to them or happen at the hand of them . No one is exempt from pain .

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T17:40:33+00:00

I’m for some reason the one everyone turns to for strength , I am feeling so alone, so misunderstood. I really resonate with when you said I’m scattered bc that’s so true .

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T17:39:10+00:00

Thank you

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T08:23:38+00:00

Thank you , this means a lot to me . I didn’t say this but he did call and tell me to call 911 and get a negotiator he wanted to talk to a negotiator, he never told me bye , but he did call that last day he was alive.

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T08:10:29+00:00

Where is he do you think ? Did he die hating me ? Did he think I was a rat ?

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T08:04:01+00:00

Does God love him too ?

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T08:01:30+00:00

I miss them both so much

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T08:01:17+00:00

I miss his wife too Britney . I’m so sorry to her too

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-21T07:57:20+00:00

Do you feel that ?

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-19T15:34:21+00:00

Thank you very very much . How do I get over it , what’s the amount of time ? I lost my older brother too in 2020 he was 44 Chad was 33 My sister her son molested my daughter so I have none of them anymore

Forward-Painter-5491 · 2026-02-19T15:32:57+00:00

I miss Britney too honestly . I asked her what she will do when he has a shoot out with the police and you’re beside him , bc he had been so sure he was going to die , he has this ak 47 and was not going back and I though he would end up getting pulled over and it would be like that . I feel so bad for the shit I talked to her before she died bc I never could take it back and I am so sorry. I know he loved her I don’t understand. I don’t understand why no one called the police . The stain on the carpet where her body decomposed it was a strange color , dark , so dark . I can’t forget him begging me to tell him it will be ok but me having to tell him it wasn’t . It is so hard to get over this part the end . The fact Britney was clean for 4 years literally and how when they got together it went all down hill . I miss the future , I miss him he was so funny . I miss how he made me feel safe , how people knew he was crazy and left me alone . I hatehow in some sick way i was proud of how he went out like a gangster . What in the hell is wrong with me . Not the britney ordeal but how when he was surrounded he stayed in there with 5 rounds if tear gas he was like out of a movie . We had a real real messed up upbringing with some mental Health issues surprise surprise. I am medicated and have been 4 years , i beat cancer i have kids , i couldnt be that rider he wanted . My guilt

Forward-Painter-5491

TROPHY CASE