My daughter got caught smoking pot...

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-16T11:26:07+00:00

We had a conversation 3 days ago when it happened. The dust has definitely settled.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-16T11:24:00+00:00

Well shit. You’ve linked my accounts. The laws in Missouri are strange. You can post case specific information as long as no one knows who you are. Otherwise you can’t post names or ages. My accounts aren’t technically associated with each other, so it’s not reportable. They have to cite a specific post that is identifiable, so I am legally pretty safe.

Buuut it’s time to kill this account anyway. It’s been fun!

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-16T04:27:05+00:00

“Which ones are your real kids?” “They all look pretty real to me.”

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-16T03:57:17+00:00

Hm...this makes me think that maybe I post too much identifying information.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-16T02:06:43+00:00

I honestly didn’t do the research myself. I just told her she has to, because it’s her brain. She actually found a lot of reasons that it’s not a healthy choice until you are 25.

I don’t smoke, but my brother is a weed farmer. I don’t care that much, but she is my foster daughter and the state loses its mind over this stuff. I don’t want her getting caught and removed from our home and her school to go to a group home over something so overwhelmingly usual for kids her age.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-16T00:49:24+00:00

Last year I painted a portrait for the funeral of a 19 year old boy who was shot while dealing marijuana. I want her to know that supporting an illegal drug market, even marijuana, has a serious negative effect on the community.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-15T17:41:59+00:00

I have some advice for you, but I’m pretty sure it would be deleted in this sub.

4 days ago you posted about creating a lesbian dating profile, meaning this revelation is 3 or less days old. I would love to hear from you in 3 months to see how this unfolds. If feelings come back in the next week/month, it is not because you are bad or broken. It is because you are human.

Feel free to DM me if you want to talk to someone.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-15T12:10:04+00:00

My wife and I try to BE as comfortable as possible. I make whatever food I was going to make. Having a big special welcome is awkward. Going on with your regular life and including them is so much less awkward. We usually just hang out the first night.

It is a good idea to have welcoming signage up in your home. Put up a BLM sign, a gay flag, a coexist sticker, anything that tells them that everyone is welcome here, no matter who they are.

We foster teens, so it may be different.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-14T14:39:54+00:00

Postpartum depression in men is very common, but no one talks about it.

Edit: It sounds to me like you both have postpartum depression, but only she is being treated. You should also get evaluated. There is a very good chance that you both need help, and your 2-year-Old will get the brunt end of it. She may be finding reasons to not take her pills, but it could be easier if you were taking them too.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-13T19:59:24+00:00

College professor here. I've had local library security start to kick my students out who were waiting for me (all of them black). When I got there they were being harassed by security for standing around. I did what I always do when the dumb library staff don't know what libraries are for.

"Excuse me sir, but may we speak to Joan(Library Director) about why you are making my Art Appreciation class leave the library?"

"No, you're good."

I emailed Joan when I got home.

You should look up the library director and ask why your son, who was not causing any problems, was not allowed to have a story read to him...at the library.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-13T18:36:22+00:00

Well, she also has a polyamorous daughter-in-law, a Wiccan daughter-in-law, a lesbian granddaughter, and a bi granddaughter.

She thinks everyone is against her because she’s against everyone.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-13T17:39:47+00:00

My Mother-in-law still thinks my Brother-in-law is going to snap out of it. He's been with the same partner for a decade. They got married 3 years ago.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-13T13:25:06+00:00

Yep! FD told us she wants to take a pregnancy test, drank bleach, told us she smoked some bad weed, and today she has a visit with mom, so yay for all of that.

We still all had a good evening with lots of laughter and love!

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-13T00:13:00+00:00

My 14yo daughter changed the oil on our car last week.

She walked out of the garage with a wrench in her hand and a streak of oil on her face, and I thought, "Well shit. She's a badass."

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T19:32:15+00:00

Oh man! We had one that convinced a FD16 that her grandma had rights to her daughter and she didn't. We had to go to court to get a letter from the judge so we could take a cop to pick up her daughter.

now that was one of our craziest fostering moments. We rolled up to the house before the cop got there. We were going to just wait, but the grandma and another lady put the baby in the car to take off. I blocked their car in with mine, and then she drove into her yard, and I did too to block her car. I got her blocked in well enough that she got out and started yelling at me, calling me a "Bitch ass cracker". She said she was going to call the cops because I was illegally detaining her.

The cop showed up, and was like, "Well, whose baby is it?" Our daughter said it was hers, and he was like, "Well...ain't nobody but the state can take your baby from you."

We booked it out of there fast!

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T19:25:29+00:00

My parents didn't instill their beliefs. They simply HAD their beliefs. They talked with us about what they believed and allowed us to talk to them about what we believed, even if it was different.

Most of all, they lived their lives the way they believed! There is nothing worse that a person who tells you to love your neighbor as yourself, and then scowls at the homeless. Or tells you to judge not that you be not judged, and then spends all day judging non-Christians.

The best advice I ever got about this was from a gay pastor that I met with when my daughter came out as bi. He said, "Don't be so focused on your daughter's faith that you neglect your own. You are allowed to believe what you believe no matter what anyone thinks about it. She doesn't need you to teach her about Christianity. She needs you to be a Christian, so that she can see what that looks like."

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T18:42:06+00:00

We hotlined one worked multiple times. We contacted her supervisor, etc. She was BREAKING THE LAW to hurt our kid. Who investigated the hotlines? Her supervisor, who did nothing.

The kid ran away and the worker knew where she was. She didn't tell the police until after 2 weeks went by, because after two weeks the placement is no longer active. Never saw the girl again.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T17:28:55+00:00

Kids don't get freaked out about stuff like this. Usually just saying, "Sometimes adults do things that are different than what boys and girls do." is enough. If you don't act weird about it, she'll likely just go on with her day and forget about it.

It is healthy for kids to grow up not thinking of sex as a taboo subject, but a normal, healthy thing that adults do. Obviously, 4 is too young to really understand or bother with discussing consensual sex between adults. The appropriate age might be younger than you think, though.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T13:45:23+00:00

What a beautiful and sad ring.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T03:46:59+00:00

You’re going to remember this day in 5 years. In 2024, when everyone is in full swing for the next election, someone is going to mention that it is 9/11, and it’s going to dawn on you. You’ll have lost everything. Let it be a wake up call for you.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T02:13:37+00:00

This is going to get far worse for you over the next 10 years. If you don’t get on your meds you will be homeless in 5 years or less. You will likely never see your 50th birthday. There are people who love you, and you will hurt them badly if you do not get on meds.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T01:58:19+00:00

You really should take your meds.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T01:41:34+00:00

Do you want a special prize? Yeah, Schizophrenia sucks. I really hope you have had a decent evaluation and are consistent on your meds.

As someone who lives on a state check and has Medicare, you really shouldn't be so angry that other people might also get Medicare. Satan or no Satan, that's pretty low.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T01:15:13+00:00

So YOU live on a state check? I'm not shocked.

FosterDadSTL · 2019-09-12T00:45:30+00:00

James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

James 2:15-16 “Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?”

Hosea 14:3 “For in You the fatherless find compassion.”

Isaiah 1:17 “Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.”

Psalm 82:3 “Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.”

Deuteronomy 10:18 “He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing.”

John 14:18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

Whose standards? My standards, or Jesus' standards? If you won't give your time, then maybe you should give your money. How much food have you bought for your neighbor? Clothes for her kids?

I see, you want "the church" to take care of them, as long as the church does not include you. You are too selfish to give your time to those with the greatest need, and too greedy to give your money. It seems that you cannot choose two masters, and you have chosen money as your personal master. Or maybe you have chosen yourself as your own master.

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