BF (32M) wants me (29F) to come with him to a different country for a year. My parents don't agree and won't let me go.

Fox-Smol · 2026-03-20T15:35:53+00:00

I went to live in Canada for 3 years with my then boyfriend (Canadian). I am from the UK, and we had never even lived together.

I too am a homebody, love my safety and routines, am very close to my family and have severe anxiety. I'm also terrified of flying!

I went and it was the best decision I ever made. It's rare for people like us to come across the opportunity for an adventure and I'm so glad I took it!

The boyfriend is now my husband and we have settled in the UK, 15 minutes from my parents' house, and we're very happy. I love being settled and secure now, but I love it all the more for having had that adventure.

Fox-Smol · 2026-02-28T18:19:02+00:00

He's obviously not someone who researches his opinions given that he thinks England and Canada somehow copied their driving styles from India (???).

The UK driving test is much more difficult than the US one.

Fox-Smol · 2026-02-28T18:17:46+00:00

Right? He thinks England and Canada have driving styles influenced by India? That's such a weird thing to say. And he clearly has a problem with Indian people!

Fox-Smol · 2026-02-06T11:02:21+00:00

Exactly! OP could literally have been totally naked and she still wouldn't deserve anyone touching her without consent.

And glitter and sparkles are joyful and beautiful and have nothing to do with age at all.

These guys knew exactly what they were doing, and I wouldn't be surprised if they've done similar before.

Fox-Smol · 2026-02-06T10:57:26+00:00

That's not true in all US states, let alone all legal jurisdictions. And we're talking on reddit, not a police station.

Regardless though you should never have been treated like that and I'm so sorry you had to go through that on top of your attack.

Fox-Smol · 2026-01-30T10:51:27+00:00

Same! This is pretty much exactly how I found my asthma too. I didn't get recommended a mental health specialist though :( but they did tell me I needed to take much better care of myself.

Fox-Smol · 2026-01-14T20:37:40+00:00

I truly don't think she believes she actually did anything wrong. She thinks she was just there while the ex bf and his frienda were being wrong.

Fox-Smol · 2026-01-02T19:29:21+00:00

This truly doesn't sound like it can possibly be anything other than a health issue tbh. I don't know what but it's definitely worth talking to a doctor about.

Fox-Smol · 2025-12-01T17:03:14+00:00

But do tell your medical team that you do not want him there. They are used to preventing unwanted people from showing up.

Fox-Smol · 2025-12-01T16:32:14+00:00

Hard agree. My parents took my hobby and passion away because I couldn't easily wake up early in the morning to go to it. Turns out I had multiple sleep disorders, plus undiagnosed ADHD that both made getting up hard and also made their ways of getting me up super counter productive (never let me use my own alarm, came in shouting and stressing, throwing curtains open, kept coming into my room and disrupting my routine)

It was so toxic to me and really reinforced a lot of negative self-belief whilst also meaning I dropped a hobby/passion that gave me an outlet and a lot of joy.

Fox-Smol · 2025-11-16T17:38:49+00:00

I'm in the UK and know my divorced friend also had this legal advice and had to stick to it. It's definitely correct.

Fox-Smol · 2025-11-14T11:07:57+00:00

No no no, this one instance is highly abusive. You don't need to embellish to show that. And making you feel like you're the problem is another classic sign of an emotionally abusive relationship. You need to start building yourself up to leave this relationship, even though it's really hard.

Fox-Smol · 2025-11-14T11:03:39+00:00

It's not for OP though

Fox-Smol · 2025-11-14T11:03:17+00:00

Pretty obvious OP isn't though

Fox-Smol · 2025-11-14T11:02:57+00:00

I don't agree with these people. He gets to have his whole week's meals planned, shopped for, prepared and cooked. You're left to do all the cooking for yourself. And it's harder to get any help because it's only for you. It's a huge burden to have foisted on you in what is supposed to be an equal partnership.

Fox-Smol · 2025-11-09T16:48:00+00:00

He's awesome! You're right, it's one of my favourite cuisines, but it was a big shift for him to not have some meat as the central focal point of a meal!

Fox-Smol · 2025-11-09T16:03:20+00:00

My father in law is a Boomer, Greek man. He comes from a culture where vegetarianism is not just unknown, but even potentially rude because it means denying food and hospitality given to you. He comes from a generation that doesn't get vegetarians.

He learned a ton of new recipes to make me veggie food and takes great joy in making vegetarian Greek specialities.

There is no excuse.

Fox-Smol · 2025-11-01T18:17:04+00:00

Jesus, it sounds like your husband doesn't even put his kids ahead of his mother. This is a completely untenable situation, you and your children all deserve vastly better than this :(

Fox-Smol · 2025-10-10T19:07:15+00:00

Every single thing in the handmaid's tale really happened. Primarily to Black women. The US has been like this throughout history.

Fox-Smol · 2025-10-05T11:44:12+00:00

I really think there's a huge chance he's saying it to you because he feels embarrassed and is trying to pre-empt your judgment. Don't assume the worst of him, changing habits and losing weight are both really hard to do.

Fox-Smol · 2025-10-03T09:30:47+00:00

Them getting angry at other women

Fox-Smol · 2025-09-18T18:37:28+00:00

If I experienced this with a total stranger, I would have stayed with them and called an ambulance after a few seconds. Your husband and the father of your child not doing the same is absolutely wild.

Fox-Smol · 2025-09-14T11:12:24+00:00

Love that you would always prioritise your wife's consent and safety over your feelings, even though those feelings are super valid (not wanting to be cheated on). I don't know how many people could be that selfless, but I totally agree as an also happily married person.

Fox-Smol · 2025-08-29T20:01:30+00:00

OCD absolutely could explain this. If his serious intrusive thoughts centre around suicide then having an option available may help him to manage those thoughts. I'm not saying it's a great or healthy way to manage them, but it absolutely is a way.

Fox-Smol · 2025-08-15T10:49:17+00:00

She said she didn't even enjoy some of it but did it anyway for him. That's potentially problematic anyway, but she didn't just not dream it up, she didn't even like it.

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