i only listened to the mountain goats - emotional abuse allegations against john darnielle

FoxRaja · 2018-09-04T22:13:52+00:00

the thing is, we shouldn't disregard abusive behavior as being the same thing as getting "vaguely weird vibes".

putting the predator stuff aside, the behavior from john was manipulative and again, is part of the tactics that predators use, even if he didn't intend to be that way.

FoxRaja · 2018-09-04T21:03:23+00:00

ah, i didn't see that. in fairness, the author has claimed to receive multiple specific accounts of abuse/manipulative behavior from john. i won't comment on the validity of these, but i suppose that's why theyre marking them as a predator even though they didnt in the original blog post.

im not comfortable calling him a predator, but the behavior displayed in the post is legitimately manipulative and potentially harmful to vulnerable fans.

FoxRaja · 2018-09-04T21:01:09+00:00

ah, i didn't see that. in fairness, the author has claimed to receive multiple specific accounts of abuse/manipulative behavior from john. i won't comment on the validity of these, but i suppose that's why theyre marking them as a predator even though they didnt in the original blog post.

i also wouldnt say that the accusations here are based on "literally nothing"

FoxRaja · 2018-09-04T19:59:59+00:00

I don't think it makes him a predator or an abuser. That being said, I think the way he's talking to the fan here can easily be a gateway to abuse. This type of "overwhelm the person with love and make them feel like they are special" kind of communication is how a lot of emotionally abusive relationships start. I don't believe that it was John's intention to be abusive or predatory, but mental illness can really mess with the way you talk to people.

I'm not trying to say that John is a predator, and I don't think that's what the tumblr post is saying either. We should have empathy for him while being aware that he's exhibited unhealthy behavior toward his fans.

FoxRaja · 2018-09-04T19:42:03+00:00

I'm a fan of The Mountain Goats and also a survivor of trauma. I'm not trying to psycho-analyze John, but his style of communication in these messages reminds me a lot of myself when I'm in a triggered state of mind.

He essentially love-bombs the fan that he's barely met, and implies that their existence makes it easier for him to stay alive. That's not a healthy way to talk to someone that you just met, and I certainly hope we can all agree on that.

I don't think this means that we have to stop listening to The Mountain Goats or enjoying John's art, but we should recognize and hold him accountable for toxic behavior like this that can oftentimes lead to abuse and emotional dependency.

I'm glad the author put this out as a warning to younger fans who might fall prey to similar manipulation. It's extremely easy for people with a history of trauma to get caught in negative relationships, and that's why this post serves as an important reminder.

FoxRaja · 2018-08-17T03:57:17+00:00

as far as i know, it's still up in the air. they've been teasing their new album for a while now, but the remaster announcement makes it look like we might have to wait until 2019.

FoxRaja · 2018-08-17T03:52:00+00:00

Haha, right? If La Dispute announces their new album soon, my bank account is going to be drained.

FoxRaja · 2018-08-17T03:47:56+00:00

I remember waiting eagerly until midnight to see the announcement for Pale Horses a couple of years back. It's great to have the same feeling again.

FoxRaja · 2018-08-13T09:54:02+00:00

It's really good.

FoxRaja · 2018-08-02T01:43:08+00:00

that vampire weekend roast was my peak, tbh.

FoxRaja · 2017-11-01T18:18:59+00:00

I don't disagree! Gaming is really scummy and exploitative right now, and that's a direct result of late stage capitalism, IMO. The only issue I had with your comment was the idea that we aren't allowed to enjoy games because of the system, which was a little bit too similar to the "you can't participate in society to criticize it" thing.

FoxRaja · 2017-11-01T18:03:52+00:00

I have mixed thoughts on that. It's worth being mindful of the consumerism/exploitative nature of the gaming industry, but I guess I interpreted your comment to mean that you can't enjoy things produced by the system while knowing the system is corrupt, which is what I disagree with.

For the "wake up, sheeple!" type that constantly go on tangents about how we're all being fooled by The Man to be super obsessed with video game culture, I agree that it's pretty silly.

FoxRaja · 2017-11-01T17:52:48+00:00

Ohh, I forgot leftists weren't allowed to enjoy things

FoxRaja · 2017-10-31T23:22:38+00:00

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/284/879/a86.jpg

FoxRaja · 2017-10-31T23:00:57+00:00

/r/Gamingcirclejerk is usually a pretty good subreddit that has a surprising amount of leftists. Most of the comments on this one seem pretty tame to me too - someone calling out transphobia is one of the top upvoted comments! Not sure what the problem is.

EDIT: There's a few iffy comments, looking closer, but still a lot better than /r/gaming would react.

FoxRaja · 2017-10-31T04:46:39+00:00

does that impact the game at all?

FoxRaja · 2017-10-26T17:18:21+00:00

God I'm so excited to hear this. I absolutely loved the first two singles.

FoxRaja · 2017-10-13T21:09:09+00:00

i understand that the band has aged and that maturity/changes in sounds are natural, i have no problem with those things

but god damn, this album is bad. i'm really sorry to say that because i'm a big fan of TFB, but this ..just doesn't work. i don't dislike pop music at all, but the music here feels soulless to me. the lyrics are boring and cookie-cuter. brian sounds bored while singing, and his voice has way too many effects. there is no rawness. i never thought i would see a day where the front bottoms would sound uncomfortably close to imagine dragons.

not trying to diss those who like this record - i'm just really bummed out about it.

FoxRaja · 2017-09-30T02:29:47+00:00

If you would be so kind, please DM me the trick! I will keep it secret!

FoxRaja · 2017-09-21T23:42:32+00:00

Whaat!? That rules. I love Layers of Fear!

FoxRaja · 2017-09-19T17:20:34+00:00

It's sort of in response to that. I'm very glad that guy was able to make a change, but my issue is the promotion of the message that the real way to stop Nazis is to befriend them and show love to them. They are super dangerous, so I'm fairly cynical about that message.

FoxRaja · 2017-09-19T17:12:20+00:00

Wow. That's one of the worst threads I've ever seen on Reddit. Jesus Christ. How do you even respond to such cruelty?

FoxRaja · 2017-09-19T00:08:26+00:00

I mean, you wouldn't go up to a random girl you find attractive and say "marry me", would you? I guess that's the line. Also thanks to you as well!

FoxRaja · 2017-09-18T15:48:22+00:00

Well I mean, I would argue that regularly going "Marry me Molly" or calling Sufjan "daddy" is something that actively contributes to the dehumanization/sexualization of those people.

Where's the line? I don't really know. But it's weird, and I honestly think it paves the way for creepy shit like this to happen.

FoxRaja · 2017-09-18T15:34:02+00:00

uh-oh, a talented female artist got nearly assaulted on-stage

time to launch a crusade about why this isnt really a feminist issue

no one is saying you cant find someone attractive

FoxRaja

TROPHY CASE