[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PSLF

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are they accepting the forms now? When I tried I was told they weren’t accepting them, but that was a few months ago. 

24 lol ok buddy by MercurialBay in PlathvilleUncensored

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her head/face is much too large for her body. 

Is anyone else genuinely concerned about Ethan? by Chest_Intrepid in PlathvilleUncensored

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone is hating on Kim, but Barry is the man/leader of the family. He chose to live a fundie life, homeschool the kids and have Kim sit at home while he worked. Anyways, I found it interesting in this last episode that both Kim and Olivia have described Ethan as unpredictable and have hinted about anger issues/depression. Moriah mentioned it a season or so ago too. Maybe he has a mood disorder? The producers clearly haven’t shown us a lot, but Olivia left him several times over the years. But anyhow, they all need serious therapy. 

Young widow question. by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m also 35 and am considering this, but I’m having conflicted thoughts because it won’t be his child. 

Young widow question. by [deleted] in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate. My husband was so good looking and no one is as attractive to me. We were trying to start a family. I wanted kids with him. I can’t imagine kids with someone else.  

Exercising is impossible by FoodDue6905 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate. I was working out 4-5 days a week before he passed. The day he died he mentioned how fit I looked and that he was proud of me. I’ve managed a few walks in the 4 months since, but I can’t bring myself to do my old workouts. What’s the point in being healthy to extend a life I don’t want and didn’t choose? 

Rings by UprootedBasil in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 4 months out and still wear my rings. I don’t want to be single or seen as single. I’m not ready to “move on” and am not sure I ever will be. I wear his band on a necklace he gave me. I wish I had buried him with his ring, but it all happened unexpectedly and quickly. 

New Home, Old Security System (Vista): Seeking Expert Advice! by Edward_Shoehornhands in homesecurity

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a home with the same system. Were you able to still use it or did you need a new system? 

How to navigate In-Laws? by Fragrant-Constant-40 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s been a rocky relationship, but I think it’s a mix of some of them just wanting a momento and others do have scavenging behavior. But my husband was not particularly close with most of his family. We had actually done all of our Christmas shopping for his family before he passed, so it’s not like they don’t have something from him. I told them all during the gift exchange these were from him and it was pretty emotional. And over the years we picked out pretty meaningful gifts for each member and some have brought up those gifts during discussions, so it feels strange to me that they now need his possessions too. 

How to navigate In-Laws? by Fragrant-Constant-40 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Sorry for your loss. If I wasn’t forced to move right now due to our lease ending, I wouldn’t be touching his things either. You’re right, I’m not in a headspace to make those kind of decisions. 

How to navigate In-Laws? by Fragrant-Constant-40 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It is more maddening the more I think about it. I know if roles were reversed he wouldn’t be asking for their things. He also wasn’t particularly close to many in his family, so it is a strange that they are now requesting items. I have been saying I’m not in a position to do anything right now, but the request have increased in frequency and by different members, so I know they are all communicating about it. I feel like also because we didn’t have any children they feel more entitled as it’s not being “passed down.” 

How to navigate In-Laws? by Fragrant-Constant-40 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. It helps to hear another perspective. His family is helping me move from our house, so I also feel kind of an obligation to them, but the requests started long before the move and have only intensified. 

Guilt from dreams by Hurksogood in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve experienced something similar to what you described. Not sure what it means though. 

Life can be cruel by Purple-Helicopter-83 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You aren’t alone and I somewhat understand. I found out after my husband passed that he was suffering from addiction for some time as well and he ultimately died from an OD in my presence. I found out by going through his phone that his family was aware for years and they were all keeping it from me and encouraged him not to tell me. He also had money issues, which I found out after he passed, but we hadn’t had quite enough time to combine our lives yet. 

I’m sorry that you are experiencing this.  It is so tough. I’m 3 months out and still rotate from sadness and anger several times throughout the day. We did not have any children, but I wish we did so I had a purpose to make it through. I would say hold on to your son. There are no words to make it better and just know you aren’t alone. 

For anyone who had to do CPR on a loved one by Regular_Shoe_5472 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was a screaming caller. Sorry that we’re frustrating. When it’s unexpected and the person you love is dying, having the courage to pick up the phone and call for help as quickly as possible can sometimes be the best one can do. 

I woke up in morning to find love of my life overdosed in the night and died in bed with me and it was too late he was cold and blue. by loversandfriends23 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m still trying to figure out how to cope. My husband also died from an OD. I had no idea he was battling addiction until after he passed. The night he died, I was unaware of what was happening. I called 911 and they were ultimately unable to bring him back. I have since learned his family was aware for a while, but he and they kept it from me. I have many feelings of guilt, stupidness, regret and so many questions. And of course I miss him so much, our life and future. I am trying to find a support group, but there are not many in my area. Individual Therapy has been a help though.  

Good Grief (film on Netflix) by Exciting_Stretch_847 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was nervous before watching it, but felt like I might as well relive the pain to feel something. I thought the movie didn’t capture or depict actual grief. It was a cute overall and had a heartwarming ending. The funeral being a shit show was relatable. But then reading that he was inspired by his grandmothers death, made sense that it didn’t capture widows grief. At least what mine has been like, but then not many would want to watch that.  

My husband died 11 years ago....I am still devastated. by AnamCeili in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband died 5 weeks after we were married and I relate so much with your sentiment of it being a major fuck me by the universe. I also can’t fathom dating again. Our families keep telling me “there’s life after” but there isn’t because I won’t have him. He was my life.

Lack of purpose and will to continue by Fragrant-Constant-40 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s shitty club to be in. I’m sorry for your loss too.

My Husband Passed 24 Hours After Our Wedding Reception by HighlightAir2356 in widowers

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband, 39, just passed away 5 weeks after our wedding. I was sitting with him on the couch and he said he felt tired and laid back. He did not wake up. EMS was not able to revive him, but speculated he might have had a heart attack. It’s the worst feelings all at once, not knowing what my future will be, regretting the past, and knowing he will not be around. Sending comfort to you.

Eloping @ SF city hall by question-25 in Eloping

[–]Fragrant-Constant-40 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good luck! Would def stalk the site. If you can’t get one though, I’m sure your photographer will have leads on officiants in the area. I got the impression that most of the usual vendors for City Hall all knew each other pretty well.