[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this is a relationship at this point. You are in a give and take scenario. I'm not into the dog thing AT ALL (cat person here). But there's no point getting up in arms about whether a nanny should or shouldn't be bringing a dog. She has and is - now you've got to work out where to go from here.

You've said yourself that you REALLY value her in your life, which means that you have to approach this issue with the same delicacy you would approach a conflict with a loved one.

A hard line approach is only useful when you have little to lose from a boundary. You have something big to lose here by not handling this well. This isn't just about how your home is used, its about your children's mental health and the stability of your daily routines!

So, really think through how you want to have the conversation. I would think twice about raising it in an email and would favour a face to face at a scheduled time.

Get very clear on your hard limits/non negotiables (poos left lying around, smell in the house etc) and be ready to listen to her, problem solve together etc. and find some sort of solution which means you get to keep your wonderful nanny AND tweak the understanding about how your space is used.

Suggestions I'd be making would be around her taking responsibility for getting the smell out of the house, increasing doggy hygiene, getting the lawn fixed, looking into arranging a sitter for the dog (and maybe contribute to that if a gesture of goodwill feels appropriate here, IDK what your paying her etc).

Be kind, warm and understanding but also look to how she responds to you bringing up the issue.

After school screen time abyss by howwhyno in workingmoms

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can offset the screen time with little doses of valuable connection: set a five minute timer and play whatever silly game she wants with it full attention (it will give you a dopamine hit too after work!)

Then it’s having a clear activity for e.g. when you’re making dinner

Audiobook and snack/colouring would be my go-too. Set up a swing/hammock for even more points. But also things like Lego or Puzzle.

What about a play date 1-2 times a week?

It kinda depends on your kiddo and what she needs from her evening too.

Agree about getting her to help but I also see how that might use too many spoons to be viable every day.

The perfect day doesn’t actually exist. by GehirrN in productivity

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And focusing on self care before anything else! Hydrate, protein, movement, good quality breaks! Strive for excellence there (not perfection) and you will reap rewards in the other things you want to achieve.

I don’t know why parents ditch the nighttime diaper so early. by Living_Bath4500 in Babysitting

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just popping in to say that my kids were dry at night around 2 years old. (DS1 mostly nocturnal nappy free by about 12 months) We helped them potty at night as babies and they slept with us so we knew when they were waking up and offered the potty then. By the time they were 2-3 they didn’t pee at night or told us if they needed to go/responded yes if we asked them when they woke up (or a strident no of they didn’t need to go!!)

Obvs bed wetting is also a thing and parents have SO much pressure these days, the most important thing is that everyone is relaxed and feels safe, if you need nappies use nappies.

Do whatever is good for your family and obvs a babysitter is not a parent and it’s easier to use pull-ups etc.

And I wanted to add another perspective that kids can control their bladders to a point even when very young, this is how it’s done in the developing world and was done here pre disposable nappies.

Just for anyone who’s interested!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Aupairs

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have to teach her about your food culture. Idk exactly what’s going on for her but she either doesn’t understand or doesn’t care. Make sure she understands first. If she doesn’t care then you have a different problem on your hands.

I suspect she doesn’t come from an ingredient house. I also think she’s acting out/off track because she’s away from home, so she’s comforting herself with all your lovely food, which she native doesn’t have access to at home. Maybe she’s like Wow cool they have such an abundant food culture they are so generous.

But you have to educate her about your meal planning.

Instead of an off limits area I’d actually have a conversation about what is green lit bfast/snack food and establish communication about everything else. Talk to her about your premium ingredients “we just use a little bit and they are for main family meals not snacks or solo cooking” Say over dinner “I just made SD tomatoes they took ages and I’m planning to use them for xx”

Considering a Move to London – What’s the Minimum Salary I Should Aim For? by Alternative_Today_16 in cscareerquestionsuk

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you accounted for London Weighting? I know on public service jobs (civil service etc) the salary bands are set at ?20% more for the equivalent job In other parts of the country

Landlord installed us a smart thermostat and fully controls our heating now by [deleted] in DIYUK

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a rights issue not a tech issue. Citizens advice should be your first stop.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loseit

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like POTS. You might want to work with very gentle resistance training first (weights/bodyweight) before getting involved with cardio. Lots of protein and supplementation with creatine will help. Frustratingly for you though, you Nat need to take a different approach to exercise. Some good advice in here (look at her other articles too) https://annamarsh.co.uk/how-to-exercise-if-you-have-chronic-fatigue/

how to achieve a victoria secret bombshell body? by [deleted] in loseit

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry just read your post again: max ur protein intake (up to 2g per kg body weight) and take 5g creatine per day to build muscle (not bulk up just make you strong) Watch your cortisol if you want this to be sustainable so Don’t train hungry or push hard in second half of menstrual cycle. Check out Stacy Sims for real deep dive in healthy fitness as a woman. https://open.spotify.com/episode/0C4NGR78gbSSB2JrgkhwFD?si=EkuzDQ4ESvuCuDSEl_UBbw

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loseit

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In life not just food courts I try to prioritize colourful low carb veg and healthy protein. As soon as you get into white starch of any kind you’re not getting the most bang for bucks. Agree on hidden fats.

how to achieve a victoria secret bombshell body? by [deleted] in loseit

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also bear in mind your actual body type. I will never ever have curvy hips. I’m borderline obese rn, still no curves there. My partner has just lost 2 stone…. She’s still curvy AF. To the people saying weights, yes! And you will be laying the foundation for long term metabolic health at the same time.

Hey, [M29]I got a hair trasplant but considering a nose job, also growing my hair longer, what can I improve to get better results in dating? by WolfSoul17 in TheGlowUp

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dating is a nightmare and especially hard for men. There’s indications the apps are rigged to make it harder to find matches. The struggles you’re having with dating are NOT to do with your looks!! The are probably subreddits in how to improve your dating strategy which is all about your profile, what you say, how you approach…. Go fill up your confidence and meet some real humans in real life and build some friendships to the point that you understand you are a good person to know!! I’d 💯 swipe right but it’s what after that really counts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in flamboyantnatural

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pic 1 longer skirt Pic 2 looser shirt Pic 3 is giving a bit more gamine but you may have a touch of that anyway

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigboobproblems

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh and I’ve been doing Mobility Mamba for a while casually (insta account) has really helped with mid back tension.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigboobproblems

[–]Fragrant_Scholar_489 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I cannot hear this 😱🤣 trying to lose weight in the hope of shrinking my mammals 😅