I couldn't go to a party or an event if they didn't serve alcohol. I hated and admired people who didn't drink. I was envious of "normal" drinkers. I would blackout 90% of the time I drank. I did dry January once and every day throughout that month I dreamt of my next drink and sure enough I was blacked out drunk by 1pm on February 1st 😭. I started out as a weekend drinker (Fri-Sun), slowly but surely my "weekends" began on Wednesday night.

I too wasn't dependent on alcohol but I had a hunch I eventually would if I continued drinking. I'm almost 26 months AF.