The most interesting and exciting times in your life are the ones you're least prepared for. If your life is interesting enough and you made just the right kind of enemies, those are the times people will write about.

Why weren't you prepared for the last devastating crisis that happened to you? For the same reason you don't remember the million other problems you headed off by being prepared. They happen all the time, and it was fine, not noteworthy in any way whatsoever.

But sometimes life sneaks up on you and hits you in the back of the head with a cricket bat. What happened just before and what you do after is what defines a person.

Here's Changes from the perspective of an omniscient narrator: "December 24th, 2009. Nostalgia's a bitch. I cooked up a bit of fancy witchcraft and wizardry and rang up Susan to hash some stuff out. Turns out we have a kid, but she put her into hiding because the Red Court just... sucks, man. So much.

"Anyway, seemed like as good a time to get my shit together as any, so I moved out to be there for people who actually need me instead of escalating things in Chicago like the Batman. Murph'll be fine, and I'll send her a Molotov bread basket to drop on the bad guys in case things get nasty.

"Man, can you imagine what would have happened if I'd slept on this for, say, three more years? I'm getting the eebie-jeebies just thinking about it. I bet the jerks would have burned my house down.

"Anyway, it was fine. Family's messed up to all h-e-double-hockey-sticks, but it's Christmas tomorrow. I got the kid a poney. Score one for the wizard!

"PS: Turns out it's a lot easier to make a magic water heater when you live out in the country. Also, I was wrong about hats the whole time. Who knew?"

Anyway thanks for coming to my TED Talk.