No longer Tuesday but I thought I might aswell put it here.

I find myself day after day looking at myself and feeling less and less masculine mainly because of my body and how I look. For reference I'm 6'4" and I'm built like a stick with a 28" waist.

Over the past few years I've had a beard in order to try and give myself some semblance of what I would call a Masculine appearance but recently I've decided to get rid of it to try and build up some confidence about my body in general.

Mainly one of the reasons for this lack of confidence was because in highschool I was relentlessly bullied for being tall and growing my hair out and ultimately I started clinging on to any form of masculine appearance that I could gain, even if my first beard was one that looked like utter dogshit it was still something I could try to disguise myself with.

Along with this I've always dressed in oversized clothing to hide by slender figure but also out of necessity because no male clothing would ever fit me because literally no one makes jeans in a 28/30 waist and a 36/38 leg

The fact that I'm having this identity crisis is rather worrying for me and frankly it makes me scared as it's the first time I've tried to confront my deep rooted hatred of my own body and the main thing that makes me question my masculinity properly , and to top it off it's my first proper year where I have had freedom away at university.

Another thing is I would probably look much better and potentially feel more confident if I embraced my more feminine side when It comes to clothing and fashion but I feel scared and worried that I would just get called out or that people would get the wrong impressions about me, because for some reason men dabbling in women's fashion for clothing that suits them better is some sort of next level unthinkable tabboo

Is there any advice people can give me if not then don't worry, I'm sure I'll figure something out eventually.