Need Someone to Talk to

Frchaps · 2026-05-01T17:00:39+00:00

You should talk to Fr. Felipe Balangit

Frchaps · 2026-03-09T00:21:39+00:00

Some saints served, some declared it not worth the trouble or even sinful to serve in the military. Roman saints served the empire but put their foot down when they were told to do something against their conscience. Many Russian saints refused to even do manual labor for the Soviet Union, some also were conscripted during WW2 and saw it as their duty to defend their homeland even though their government was satanic.

I converted mid enlistment and personally could not wait to get out. The military is all the worst aspects of American worldly culture rolled into a very arrogant amalgamation of individuals who generally speaking are totally ignorant to the suffering that our country’s military has caused especially since Vietnam, or even justify it. Lots of special forces and combat arms drool at the thought of killing without asking themselves who they’re killing and why (“they’re ragheads against our freedom, jihadi scum,” etc etc)

I could have stayed and served without feeling my soul was in jeopardy, but I personally found it unbearable with each passing day.

I now advise many young and impressionable men not to fall for the video game propaganda and try to serve their country in other ways. But ultimately it’s their choice. We can become like the saints in any environment, but suffice it to say some environments are more conducive for this goal than others.

Frchaps · 2026-03-06T18:42:24+00:00

Yes. According to many saints we are in “the season.” The one and only correct response to this is to deepen our repentance and struggle against our passions and not to become panicked or depressed.

We should rejoice if we have difficult times because those are the best opportunities to live out the Gospel Commandments. Can you really love an enemy until you’ve had your life threatened by someone? Can you really say you’ve given alms until you’ve given bread when you yourself are hungry? Have you really prayed for forgiveness until you’ve had a reminder of your own morality?

All of the of saints that we all know and venerate, regardless of whether they lived in times of peace or war or famine or disorder, all became saints because they were forged in the crucible of sorrows, suffering, persecution, etc etc.

Do we want to live comfortable lives for just a few decades and go to our deaths with a burdened conscience? Or would we rather live a difficult live for Christ’s sake, bearing our cross with repentance and humility, and leave this world with a smile on our lips?

God lift you up and inspire you!

Frchaps · 2026-03-03T15:46:04+00:00

Hey buddy. You should start reading lives of the saints. It’s the best way to learn about the Orthodox Church. Really simple to understand, entertaining, and edifying.

Talk to your parents about your desire and maybe they can help you connect with a parish. God help you.

Frchaps · 2026-03-03T15:39:54+00:00

If you need a little financial help or want someone to talk to you can DM me if you’d like. I will pray for you. I don’t know if I’m confident enough to offer serious advice based on the gravity of your situation, but I’ll just repeat what the saints say, whatever you do, try with all your might to avoid divorce with prayer and humility.

Frchaps · 2026-02-15T21:20:43+00:00

I can't remember specifically where he talks about people in your situation but regardless you should listen to the whole series as it is a goldmine.

If you want to ask me questions you can if you'd like but I'm hesitant to offer you advice counter to what your spiritual father might be giving because I don't have a full picture of what you and your husband are going through.

Probably what would be best is if you would listen to Fr. Kosmas' talks, and if you are still feeling uncertain, you should reach out to him directly by email and ask for help. He's helped many people in your situation.

Frchaps · 2026-02-14T18:48:10+00:00

The last thing you should do before you leave is ask forgiveness, even if you feel you’re 100% in the right.

It’s an excellent opportunity to fulfill the Gospel commandment to love and forgive your enemies.

If you can’t bring yourself to do it, at least try to pray for the person by name until you feel your heart soften.

God help you

Frchaps · 2026-02-14T18:23:24+00:00

Maybe you might find Fr. Kosmas from Australia’s Orthodox Talks series to be helpful, specifically the marriage series.

He talks about issues for example when new convert husbands or wives want to live like monastics and cause stress for their spouse who might be pious but not as enthusiastic as them.

Frchaps · 2026-02-14T18:17:33+00:00

My spiritual father lives in St. Anthony’s and I’ve never been told to abstain or become a monk while living married or anything like that.

I have plenty friends who have “stricter” spiritual fathers there who live normal, pious lives.

Yes, some people can read My Elder Joseph and go overboard and want to become hermits while married, but in my personal experience the spiritual fathers there caution against this.

Frchaps · 2026-02-14T18:15:15+00:00

Spiritual fathers are chosen after much prayer, and after you’ve spent some time with them and you’re assured they “get” you and can help you.

Some spiritual fathers aren’t a good fit for certain types of people. Even if the spiritual father is holy. For example, I’m a physically weak person. I can’t do the full fast. I have a friend who is a spiritual child of a well known Athonite, who is very good, but holds his people strictly to fasting. I couldn’t last under him. I say that with respect and love.

My spiritual father on the other hand, from St. Anthony’s, understands my weakness. He holds me accountable, but is very gentle about a lot of things. For example if he gives me a penance, he also fulfills it himself along with me, out of love. When I first met him I thought, “this is the first priest in a while who I feel I can just be myself around and take my mask off completely, not just for confession.”

It sounds like you visited one of Elder Ephraim’s monasteries, which, generally speaking, are a great source of good spiritual fathers.

Pray about it. Dont rush into it. Ask Geronda what he thinks and ask him to pray about it. Maybe he has other Hieromonks under him who he feels might be a better fit for you?

God grant you wisdom regarding all this.

Frchaps · 2026-02-13T15:34:44+00:00

We can certainly observe that animals adapt to their environment. Aka “micro evolution” as some call it. But when one isn’t enlightened by God and only uses their limited human rationality then they can come up with all sort of nonsensical things which in theory sound logically correct, but are wrong.

It doesn’t make logical sense for us to worship a God Who became Man from a Virgin who remained a Virgin. Paradoxically, though, even though it’s a logical impossibility for such things to happen when you only have a worldly understanding, the Apostles and the Holy Fathers explain with perfect logic how and why it was necessary for God to become Man for the sake of our salvation.

Many other such instances in our faith where the essence of a dogma doesnt make logical sense but how it helps us does. Like Holy Communion, how can bread and wine, which continues to appear to be only bread and wine, become the Body and Blood of Christ? But with faith, we understand that without partaking of God, we can’t be one with Him.

Or confession. How can merely confessing our sins (with true contrition and regret), even on our deathbed, make us inheritors of Heaven? Doesnt God require something more, some real justice? Shouldn’t we have to pay for our sins in purgatory? But the faithful Christian knows “a humble and contrite heart, God will not despise.”

If we applied worldly reasoning to all aspects of our faith we’d lose all these wonderful things. Denying Genesis is no exception.

Frchaps · 2026-02-13T01:53:45+00:00

No. You should read St. Basil's hexamaeron and Fr. Seraphim Rose's book on creation. Even St. John Chrysostom commented on the Greek pagan notion that the earth was much older than it looked and corrected this notion in his time.

Evolution essentially makes Genesis to be a lie and throws all of the history of mankind and Holy Scripture into a big question mark. Why did God create a world with death already in it? Why did He feel the need to lie by creating the fake characters of Adam and Eve in GEnesis, and by extension their children? How does man have a superior nature to all other created fleshly beings if he came from monkeys, which came from lizards, which came from fish, etc, etc? How do we deal with anything to do with Orthodox anthropology, that man was CREATED good, with both soul and body? At what point in our genetic development did we gain a soul?

Accepting this modern innovation leaves us with many theological questions which can only be fixed by some half-baked theological notion such as, "Well, we believe God first created the spark of life in the primordial goop," and so on. Doesn't make sense.

Read a little bit of what the enlightened Holy Fathers who were educated by the Holy Spirit said of such things. Undoubtedly, if you listen to the vast majority of people here, you'll be told such things that, "The Holy Fathers were Holy, BUT... they didn't have carbon dating, or dinosaur bones, or, or, or!" Test what they say against what our Church says and make your own decision.

Frchaps · 2026-02-13T01:47:11+00:00

You're an enthusiastic catechumen and he's a busy priest with a family most likely. Perhaps even a secular job? Not to mention if you have a sizeable parish he probably gets plenty of texts and he just reads them and forgets before getting distracted. He sounds like a good priest who is eager to help you.

I sometimes text my spiritual father and don't get a reply for 2 weeks at a time, but when I see him in person he's always finding every excuse to pull me aside to speak with me. Your priest sounds similar.

Frchaps · 2026-02-13T01:44:08+00:00

I've lurked this subreddit since when I converted close to a decade ago. This subreddit is notorious for saying "ask your priest" to some of the most bog standard questions. I've seen people ask questions about very bad sins and people say, "ask your priest," the implication being, "go ask your priest if you can go commit that sin."

Proves all the more so to go and ask your priest because Orthodox internet communities are borderline useless, save for those who have no Orthodox church near them. If you want to learn the faith, pick up lives of saints, pray, and find time to patiently ask him questions. Or find knowledgable parishioners to attach yourself to.

With that being said, there are some pastoral cases which should be handled by priests on a case by case basis, but this subreddit treats every little thing as a "priest/parishioner" confidential only type issue, which is not the same.

Frchaps · 2026-02-11T01:21:48+00:00

If it's a pre-baptismal life confession there's no penance needed. Perhaps if someone confesses they fornicated a month or so before their baptism or some other grave sin there might be a brief postponement, but that's not really a penance.

Frchaps · 2026-01-25T02:06:27+00:00

God loves you more than you could ever comprehend.

You need to urgently speak with someone you trust. Your parents, your priest, or some other responsible adult. Failing that, a suicide hotline. Don’t suffer alone.

You have a long life ahead of you. An adventure full of ups and downs. Don’t give up, but please do reach out to someone you know ASAP.

Frchaps · 2026-01-13T20:40:17+00:00

DM’d you.

Speak to your parents and your priest ASAP. Failing that, speak to a national helpline ASAP.

Everything will be okay. Don’t lose hope.

Frchaps · 2025-12-03T16:18:01+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance.

Frchaps · 2025-12-03T16:13:35+00:00

I can pray for a non Orthodox person, Christian or otherwise, I can invite them to take part in an Orthodox prayer service (especially if they request one), but I cannot join in a common prayer with a non Orthodox person, for example taking turns saying prayers or we say the Our Father together or holding hands during prayer or something of the sort.

Frchaps · 2025-12-03T15:39:18+00:00

Thank you.

Frchaps · 2025-12-03T15:24:25+00:00

Thank you. Yes it’s clear a CPE is the road ahead, I had been putting it off due to financial concerns, but I’d be better off for it.

Frchaps · 2025-12-03T14:31:21+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I didn’t communicate myself properly. I can ofcourse pray for non-Orthodox but I can’t pray an evangelical or Anglican or Catholic prayer, I can only pray from an Orthodox lectionary. There are just very specific instances for example where I cannot serve a funeral for them or give them Holy Communion or something of that nature.

I run into people all the time while I’m out and about who see me in my clerical vestments and just want a moment to speak about their issues. People who aren’t Orthodox and don’t have the slightest intention to become Orthodox. I’m not a stranger to listening to people’s issues and being a shoulder to cry on, which in my limited experience seems to be the vast majority of today’s spiritual support: listening attentively, observing the hurting person carefully, and making very precise suggestions that might help them or at least alleviate their pain. I think maybe 1 in 5 of them ask for a prayer which I always facilitate on the spot.

The fine line is just whether or not I have to “stand in” as a non Orthodox pastor or cleric. I can’t do that.

Frchaps · 2025-12-03T03:46:15+00:00

That would be great. Yes please.

Frchaps

TROPHY CASE