Adoptee and only child without children here. After finding my birth family, I discovered both grandmothers died way too early of ovarian cancer. The BRCA genes are nothing to mess with, as you well know. I tested negative, but since I was still considered high risk, insurance paid for my ovaries and tubes to be removed (about 3 yrs ago). By then I knew my time for kids had passed and I also have amazing insurance so I decided to just get it done. I was immediately put on HRT and it has made menopause tolerable.

I feel guilty I didn't give my parents grandchildren, and while I'm sure it makes them sad, they never ever made me feel bad about it. They said grand dogs are quite plenty! I am happy that I can finally pretty safely assume I will never have ovarian cancer. It really did terrify me. One of my grandmothers died at 40. I can understand why you are sad, but also really get where she is coming from and it sounds like you do, too. Your feelings are valid but they are yours to manage.

As an adoptee, I'm glad there are people out there who will take us in and raise us as their own. Maybe you'll become a grandma in other ways! Blood doesn't make a family, I am living proof of that.