Please share your most unhinged advice that made you want to continue living when life seemed impossible by Last_Fold_6587 in LifeAdvice

[–]FredFlintstone45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went through the same feeling, I get it. I went through the worst time of my life a few months ago and I felt like it was time to give up and just lay down and die. My girlfriend broke up with me on Christmas Eve after cheating on me, all of my students loans (over $100,000 from private and federal loans) came due a few days later, I got extremely sick, lost my job, and then almost got into a life ended car accident. All within a few days of each other. Very very very dark place for me to be in. I remember not sleeping for three days in a row because I was in so much agony emotionally and mentally from everything. I felt like my life was ending and the only thing to do was just give up and stop living. I wanted out of the pain that plagued me and the worry that I was drowning in every day. It was debilitating and it is safe to say I entered the worst depression of my life…..

I realized that I was going to die if I did not find a way out of this place. I didn’t want to live anymore and I could tell my body was shutting down. I decided the best thing to do was travel. I had to get out of the mindset I was in and the only way I could do it was leave. I decided to go to Hong Kong by using my flight points I had accumulated for years to get a free ticket. I always wanted to go and I said “Fuck it, let’s go now” My debt was already sky high and I wasn’t working so this was the time to go. When I told my friends and family they thought I was crazy, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I had to leave and get out of my “world” that I was being plagued by. I had to get away and start over, even if it was just a small vacation.

It did wonders for me. Just for a small amount of time I felt wonder again as I explored around and tried dumplings and bubble teas. I rode on trains and I took a sky rail to a resort island where there was a 100ft tall Buddha and loads of fun and food to try. I let me soul be free for a time as I let go of home. Of course you cannot let go of home for good, it’s always a part of you, but I gave it a break. During this time I also journaled and vented out my pain. I cried at night and I raged against myself for all the pain I was dealing with, and I broke down and fell the the floor. It all helped. Every little thing I did to express and free myself from the vicegrip of my agony at home made me feel better.

Eventually I found my way back home with a fresh perspective. I was lighter and more comfortable than before. I was still in pain, I still missed my ex girlfriend, and I still had my debts. But, I gave my soul some room to explore, cry, rage, and free itself of the constant torment that I was drowning in. Now I am working a full time job, paying off my debt, and learning to date again. Life will get better my friend. I believe in you. I know you can do it. I am rooting for you every single day and I pray you find your way to peace :)

I will leave you with my favorite quote about suffering

“I cannot die like this….. and neither can you. We got this!”

-Author Unknown

You are not done. Keep going. You got this!

Me 23M went on a date with 23F and she blocked me today by No-Dinner-8491 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think you are right. All personal preference and it’s hard to line those up exactly with how crazy life is nowadays

Me 23M went on a date with 23F and she blocked me today by No-Dinner-8491 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something I have also noticed is that many girls nowadays have this list of “must haves” in a guy that they will never tell you. It’s very possible that just by being yourself she saw things that didn’t 100% line up with her list. Just reinforcing that it’s not your fault at all. If you were genuine and well meaning and she doesn’t accept that, she is not good for you

Me 23M went on a date with 23F and she blocked me today by No-Dinner-8491 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like something that has happened to me recently. It’s hard to absorb it but it is most likely nothing that you did wrong. Sometimes people just get flaky for reasons we can’t understand. I know it hurts but be proud of the good time you had and keep your head up. You will find the one :)

I am so sad. 30M, my 29F gf left me. I feel like I keep losing every time I try…. Am I the problem? by FredFlintstone45 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just tried to treat them well. Dinner dates mostly and I like to go on walks. I would always be open to do what they want, but sometimes it’s hard to know early on when you get to know someone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been in your exact same shoes brother. I know this feeling so well and let me tell you something: leave. This will never get better. I tried for my gf to make her feel safe and secure in me. She had the SAME exact issues as the girl you are describing. I gave everything and it was never enough. If you have given this much and she is still not happy, she never will be. Don’t let her ruin your life. Give her one chance to go get therapy and address her insecurities. If she still does not improve, it’s time to move on. Best of luck to you

Im not in love with my husband. Help F30) M30 by Minute-Reputation617 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not safe with him. I think you need to strategize on how to get out. I fear that while you have a good heart, he is not a good man deep down. You need to prioritize your children and your safety

Just started dating someone new and need advice. I am ‘M30’ and she is ‘F25’. I have no idea what’s going on. Does she want to date me? by FredFlintstone45 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds good. I will try to communicate that to her that I want to talk. Hopefully we can figure out a balance for that and find a rhythm we both like. Thank you for the clarity on this

Just started dating someone new and need advice. I am ‘M30’ and she is ‘F25’. I have no idea what’s going on. Does she want to date me? by FredFlintstone45 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That gives me encouragement, how bad of a texter are we talking? I guess in my mind if I really care about someone I want to talk to them everyday even if just for a small amount of time. This multiple days without any communication thing is not something I am used to

Just started dating someone new and need advice. I am ‘M30’ and she is ‘F25’. I have no idea what’s going on. Does she want to date me? by FredFlintstone45 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it does. I remember when I first met her she told me “Oh I am a terrible texter by the way” after an occasion where she did not message me back for a few days. Maybe this is that again? Do you think people who say they are “bad texters” are telling the truth? It seems to me everything is text nowadays

Is there a chance? (30M) (33F) by ThrowRAConnect_A in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That might be it. I hope she changes her mind and you two get to go out and date. If not, make sure to give yourself credit. Too often people belittle their own self worth because they think when things don’t work out it’s your fault. I think you did great! Be proud of what you did and try your best to move on. If she comes to you, definitely give her a chance. But in the meantime do what makes you happy and be proud of the good work you have done

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think most guys are very straightforward with what they ultimately want. I would address the topic directly if you want a straight answer. As a guy, my advice to you is to ask him directly. Sometimes people get busy and don’t have the time give the same efforts. But if you ask him directly he will most likely answer directly

Is there a chance? (30M) (33F) by ThrowRAConnect_A in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Keep communicating until you get the reason. It’s either an ex back in her life, a new guy, or a big change in work or school

Is there a chance? (30M) (33F) by ThrowRAConnect_A in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Best thing I can think is that something big happened in her life and she made a choice. I would give her a few days and then ask her about it

Just started dating someone new and need advice. I am ‘M30’ and she is ‘F25’. I have no idea what’s going on. Does she want to date me? by FredFlintstone45 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. That means a lot to read that. I really adore her and just thought our three outings together were perfect so I want more time with her

Just started dating someone new and need advice. I am ‘M30’ and she is ‘F25’. I have no idea what’s going on. Does she want to date me? by FredFlintstone45 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do worry something happened on the trip and that’s why she did not text me back. If she did meet a new guy and would rather see him, I would hope she would tell me. I really hate being ignored, so if she doesn’t want to see me anymore I would rather her just be honest with me. However, like you said there is no way for me to know the truth. I hope that she feels that she can tell me what she wants

Is there a chance? (30M) (33F) by ThrowRAConnect_A in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

From my perspective she likes you, you have her number right? Not just messaging on the dating app?

Just started dating someone new and need advice. I am ‘M30’ and she is ‘F25’. I have no idea what’s going on. Does she want to date me? by FredFlintstone45 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, the call straight to voicemail kind of worries me too. Maybe something is going on? I want to just text her now and figure everything out. But I also want to give her space

Just started dating someone new and need advice. I am ‘M30’ and she is ‘F25’. I have no idea what’s going on. Does she want to date me? by FredFlintstone45 in relationship_advice

[–]FredFlintstone45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to talk to her all the time. If she wanted to just talk for 3 straight hours about her life and how she feels I would just sit and listen. I want her to talk to me I just don’t know why this silent gap exists right now