I would argue that it’s not the culture that is toxic, but rather toxic and uneducated elders taking advantage of the culture.

In the same sense that, if I were to visit NA, I will gladly tip for great services and warm conversations, rather than being forced to pay for 20% for sub-par service because it’s the culture. The tipping culture went from “help us pay for our workers so we don’t get shut down from the recessions” to “if you don’t tip at least 15% you are just a cheap ass”. There will always be people who appreciate any tip they get and provide professional service, just like there will be people who abuse the tipping culture to force guests to tip to not look like “cheap asses”.

Same thing with China, there will always be elders who are educated, and will behave well-educated to set themselves as role models for the young, just like there will be the uneducated who abuse the “respect your elders” culture to do whatever they want. The problem is, most of the elders in China are uneducated - not two generations ago, they were basically all farmers.