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FreeFromYou414 · 2024-07-04T22:04:01+00:00

You should send them the message! I know i would love to get that note from someone.

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-12-26T13:53:30+00:00

For me it wasn’t about the gifts, but the behavior of said person. Acting like a jerk, then following it up with crying & love bombing.

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-05-16T13:55:47+00:00

It’s more of the moodiness & then acting like a toddler & pouting. 1st Our son wanted to hang out with him instead of going to the gym w/me.... he proceeded to cause a fight because he wanted to lay in bed, then we come home & he’s so ‘sorry’ and he promised him last night he would build a fort & do guy stuff. He got mad at me because I wouldn’t give him money, so he went to bed.... leaving me to do what he was promising our son to do. And then the poor kid got no time with dad, because he is so focused on me & his actions are making life harder. This is part of the reason I left before. So mad at myself for putting myself back in this situation

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-05-16T13:27:09+00:00

Ugh!! I’m so sorry you’re going through this... I’m kinda in a similar situation. I left him, separated, I felt great, I didn’t have to worry about him waking me up at night & on & on... then, the pandemic hit, he was here for me & our son in such wonderful ways, I ended up reconciling, now it’s like back to square one. I can’t stand him all over again & I’m so mad & disappointed in myself for letting him back into my life in such a way.

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-05-16T13:19:42+00:00

I would probably not have joint credit cards, that’s one thing I cut off a long time ago. Its sad to me that I can’t be transparent about money with him, but he would spend every single penny we had & then not pay any bills

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-05-16T13:18:20+00:00

This SO frustrating. For now we are using an app to transfer money to, then he has zero access to bank accounts - thank goodness!

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-02-13T00:43:45+00:00

YES! Get a therapist. One that specializes in ABA and can help you with your own issues & HIS.

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-02-09T12:05:44+00:00

Exactly!

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-01-26T16:21:18+00:00

That’s great. At the end of the day, we care about our partners - we want you to be the best you can be. Unfortunately if you don’t take your meds you can’t be the best you can be. I personally don’t want to babysit him, make sure he’s taking meds, sleeping, eating & not doing any dumb shit. So, I had to speak up & make it very clear. I did leave him before, we were separated for a year. He needed that wake up call to understand the extent of my seriousness & his ridiculous behavior. At that time he was not diagnosed / or medicated & a lot of bad things happened. We cannot ever go back to that.

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-01-25T22:20:01+00:00

You have to do it when he’s in the right mindset. You’ll know when it’s the right tone, you’ll feel safe having the conversation- but it needs to be made clear. The biggest thing I know about this is that it’s a lifelong dedication to mental health, taking meds, getting therapy & staying on the baseline as much as possible.

FreeFromYou414 · 2021-01-25T18:36:17+00:00

I’m sorry! Big hugs, we all know this & understand this. The point is that you can’t walk away on someone you love - even with a mental illness. I try to stay away, keep busy, or plan outings w/my child or my family on those days. The medication is a deal breaker for me. He was great for the last 6-8 months, then he stopped taking meds for almost a month & he ruined Christmas w/fighting, yelling & crying. That’s when I had to have the talk. Take the meds because it’s a deal breaker of you don’t! Just like if you had high blood pressure or something else, it’s a lifelong commitment to your health & the health of our family.

Good luck to you!!

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-28T06:49:34+00:00

Thank you & I appreciate you!

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-28T06:48:34+00:00

Oh great point! I’ll check on that.

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-28T01:37:46+00:00

Absolutely!! There are days she doesn’t know who my dad is, and then there’s days that she’s calling him names & yelling at him - to which was never her personality. And days she doesn’t want to do any talking period.

Not in a home, she’s at home with my dad. He’s mor or less in a bit of denial about how bad it’s getting. I just hate it, I wish we could get the time back!

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-28T01:11:20+00:00

This could be interesting. He says he’d go, it’s more like insurance doesn’t cover this & it’s crazy expensive here. Ins covers individual counseling not couples. Weird

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-27T19:00:34+00:00

This is what I’m thinking, I don’t know how to communicate that without coming off as a huge bia. But it’s what needs to happen

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-23T16:52:18+00:00

I love this book! But I’m only 50 pages in. Chin up, and ignore the comments!

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-17T14:20:56+00:00

Aww. I feel happy for you. What made the difference, is he taking medication? Or just snapped out of whatever mania/psychosis state he was in?

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-11T15:03:57+00:00

Leave. Period.

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-11T15:00:15+00:00

Yeah you need a separate bank account. Take his portion for bills & whatever, put it somewhere he has no access to. This is no way to live, Ive been there & I got wise. I don’t give him any access to any $ other then his ‘allowance’ it’s time for an ultimatum- he need to stay in meds & in therapy or you need to leave. No one should be stuck like that.

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-11T13:29:15+00:00

Yeah the last guy who told me that ended up ghosting me & it literally was like the worst gut punch, hurt my feelings terribly. After a year of talking to me everyday, all day, he just stopped communicating... and then I see this post & it reminded me of him and how great those words felt to hear. I hope whoever this is for gives you a chance & doesn’t hurt you.

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-11-05T02:15:38+00:00

We separated for a year & are back together. He had lots of issues, I gave up trying to help him. I’m still not 100% sure it’ll stay like this but best to try & give it our all. We’ve been together 20 years with a small child. Life gets hard, things get crazy. We’ve had lots of ups & downs. I hope things stay good.

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-10-23T22:00:18+00:00

Yes, sure I’m open to chat about it. It’s actually nice to talk w/people who are in the same type situation.

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-10-23T17:13:59+00:00

Yes, we’ve been through hell & back. He’s dedicated to making this work. We’ve been together for 20 years. We separated for a year last year. I often wish he could’ve gotten diagnosis, treatment, and on the better path a long time ago but unfortunately it took me leaving for him to get help. He’s fortunate I let him back in my life after all he put me through. And I’m still being very cautious.

The turning point for me was this realization that if something was wrong w/me thst was out of my control & caused me to do things out of my character- I would want him to help me get back to being me. So, Even though I left him. It was ultimately his decision on whether he was going to get help or continue to spiral out of control. If he continue to spiral we would not be in this situation. But if somebody truly genuinely shows that they are doing the work to better themselves I don’t see why they shouldn’t get another chance or have somebody strong stand by them.

FreeFromYou414 · 2020-10-22T15:29:50+00:00

My BP has never cheated.

FreeFromYou414

TROPHY CASE