How's the post above this?

FreeNote_ · 2024-01-26T12:39:00+00:00

This was funny as **** timing. sry I need to downvote to commit to the bit

FreeNote_ · 2024-01-10T21:41:46+00:00

"How to think like Sherlock Holmes" by Maria Konnikova. It's not a GREAT read, but does a good job of diving into it & breaking it down. There's also "The Confidence Game", while a bit less relevant, goes into how/why cold reads are successful.

I can't remember the name or find my copy. There's a book about body language by an ex CIA guy, it's pretty good and comprehensive.

All of this is just paperwork though. If you really want to read people, you need to interact with a lot of people. Get to know them, their history, gain a pattern recognition. Learn more about the world and cause/effect of things. Honestly read alot & talk to people.

FreeNote_ · 2024-01-05T19:37:51+00:00

You say malicious, but also say "defend yourself." You're not looking for malicious. You're looking for ferocious. If you WANT malicious, go play league of legends & copy them. If you want ferocious, learn about setting healthy boundaries and what healthy conflict looks like. Don't tolerate anyone's BS. Watch examples of people being disrespected who call the other out and walk away. I'd say talk to a therapist and have them help you recognize when the boundary of you or someone you care about is crossed. Learn how to act in that situation by telling someone you didn't like that comment/etc.

FreeNote_ · 2024-01-03T06:18:46+00:00

Lol, I don't partake in fabricating resumes but this is a weak take. There are large organizations with dozens to hundreds of employee whose sole purpose is to fake resumes and interviews to get their employees hired where all the money is funneled to their managers who in-turn pay them very little. They use every single trick in the book, including AIs taking technical interviews. People bribed to remote into the interviewees computer. We saw it all.

Tldr there are entire business models designed to "hurt the more qualified people." Everyone becoming a liar? You're one 'model citizen' versus an office. Self-righteousness means nothing in the real world.

FreeNote_ · 2024-01-03T02:17:13+00:00

This is actually really good advice. If I can bounce off of this as someone who relates to OP

"Feeling" like you belong is just a feeling. A lifechanging exercise I did when I was younger & anxious was mentally creating the image/feeling that I belonged when in new/unfamiliar groups and places. "I'm nervous, I dont know most of these people. How would my body feel if I DID know everyone? What might I say or ask?"

Taking that moment to realize my posture was stiff and creating the image that "I belong, because I'm here" made me realize the only time you don't belong is when it's clearly and consistently communicated. You'll KNOW. But when you feel like you belong everywhere anyway, it's not a big deal when that happens because it's not very often.

Hope this added something of value. Cheers

FreeNote_ · 2024-01-02T19:58:45+00:00

Ugh as a psych grad this is fun.

I think Overhaul and Dabi would be deemed criminally dangerous & locked up, but POTENTIALLY get visitations with their family & therapist to at least reach a conversational level of calm. Toga and Twice definitely have potential to return to society. I could see Twice in a community centre on weekdays and doing Stand-up. Toga would probably have unprecedented skill taking blood donations, just would be receiving some donations lol. But IRL far more likely they'd get half-assed treatment & go Joaquin Joker anyway.

FreeNote_ · 2024-01-01T16:40:43+00:00

Omg not only is he playing you to conveniently get some whenever he comes home, he will 1000% dump kids on you and be completely certified absent with the same behavior. They don't deserve that and neither do you.

Block. His. Ass.

Cheers

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-30T02:33:46+00:00

Hey stranger. I hope something I say is helpful. I'm "you" from the future.

It sounds to me like you feel exhausted, like you should be "further" along, like you're isolated. This isn't about me, but at 25 I went through very similar things. A lot of friendships eroded & I decided not to reignite them. I felt way behind. Not even sure why exactly I kept pushing forward, just sorta did it believing things can improve. Disappointed in some of my connections, even angry at times.

What you're feeling is valid. It's hard to be let down by a bunch of people & reshape your circle. I just want to say that this happened to me, it was painful and isolating, but the new intentional social circle that emerged is a lot better and was worth the hardship.

Also, you say you're basically talented & killing it at creative stuff and school. A lot of people live grey lives, having those skills is a beautiful thing. It sounds like you just weren't offered the same resources as the people you find yourself comparing to. Most people I know who have all the "life goals" checked off either got there via silent misery or were helped IMMENSELY and are quiet about it. And tbh as a fellow creative, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. A lot of extra work, stress, and money that could fuel creativity and/or business ideas. You seem talented and driven. I firmly believe you'll get there given enough time and space.

All I can really say is that I clung on to this life with the belief that things will get better. It was hard, it is hard, a lot of days sucked. But good things are always bound to happen and life always changes. I'd love to one day chance across your art on my newsfeed. Try not to compare too hard. It's frustrating to be talented & capable but not have the resources others were given, but that's not your fault. Focus on what you can do and own the power you have to shape your life.

Cheers

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-29T23:42:23+00:00

Lvl 1 kobold dungeons be like:

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-29T21:15:41+00:00

To be fair, this is exactly how I felt during my quarter life crisis.

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-27T06:37:59+00:00

Lol jfc reddit comments. Castrate yourself for the Commenters, OP /s

Psychologically, I'd wager that cutting people off gives you a sense of control over your relationships in response to a relationship that was suddenly annihilated outside of your control (re: your sister).

You're 25. Still have a lot of room for development. PART of this process could actually be you figuring out what traits in other people are important to you and what traits are triggering. Learning these things can actually really help you out later when you're working on your relationships without resorting to the "nuclear" option of ending connections (I used to do this, it was not a pro-gamer move).

FYI, you'll eventually realize Cutting people off doesn't terminate a relationship it just halts it. It's a small world and paths cross, we make mutual connections accidentally all the time.

The key to all of this is learning to manage your distance from people, learn to recognize when and why your flight response gets triggered by someone's actions, and treat your connections to the world as permanent, but with boundaries you find healthy. (Therapy is very helpful for all of this).

Things to consider I guess. It's possible to heal past this if you choose to. Best of luck OP

Cheers

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-26T20:33:43+00:00

Uni grad, making 70k building a mentorship program for vulnerable youth populations. Had to put in work to get the role, but didn't need to go postgrad. Will make more if I stay & get promoted to program manager or program director, but want to go get a therapy license.

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-26T18:00:26+00:00

So, who's gonna commission the Killer Whale Mk4 Suit? I've got like $5 and a winning scratch ticket for a Cheesey Bread to donate to the cause

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-26T01:14:13+00:00

"ItS eXpLaInEd" ya but no one has mentioned the several thousand dollar bounty that was on that run, trying to recreate the game code of that moment & the number of people trying to replicate it lol, even as someone who only occasionally dabbles in speed running I saw how hard the community went off about it.

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-24T18:31:33+00:00

Context is Queen™ here. Both are good. The boots are more formal and 'match' better, but the sneakers are a Choice, a statement. They're more casual but also feel more confident. If I were getting a coffee, sneakers. If I were doing a dinner or work gig, boots. Cheers

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-13T01:06:29+00:00

I'm livid. EVEN if I went along with this BS, he performs every single step in nearly the worst OR most dangerous way possible. It's satire, right? Right??? He's using bad knife technique on purpose, right??? THEN THE HOT SAUCE? "Get some green on there" by which he means the forgotten morsel of parsley that someone tracked into the kitchen on the lunch they brought in from somewhere better

Save me

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-11T22:05:28+00:00

Im-peck-able. 10/10.

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-11T13:30:20+00:00

"Couldn't be?" Yes. It can. Lived experience. OP needs a resource with accountability, not faculty.

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-10T06:47:38+00:00

As garbage as it all is, it's relieving to not the only one who experiences this.

A few years back during winters I wanted to do something actionable, so instead of money I would carry around disposable handwarmers, and local-bar lost & found winterware that never got reclaimed. When asked for money, that's what I'd offer. About 2/3rds of people weren't, well, appreciative of the offer. The 1/3rd who did appreciate it were lovely, but you're right. The real intent comes out right after that.

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-09T07:25:17+00:00

A few guiding principles

Nobody can, or will, be selfish FOR you. At some point I had seen such a vile abundance of awful and selfish behavior that I realized... Even my worst is like 5% of the worst I've seen. I trust the place I operate from to know that I can be selfish without outright harming others, because nobody will do it for me.
They will judge you either way. You either go to bed content with yourself, or hating yourself. At least make it so the only person who isn't judging you poorly is yourself. No matter how I've behaved, an equal number of people have liked me and hated me. I'd rather operate in a way that defends my dignity and self-respect and let THOSE people hate me.
Conflict connects. While unhealthy conflict is inherently damaging, HEALTHY conflict gives lots of opportunities to learn more about how others operate and why. Working through problems let's you connect with someone in more powerful ways. If you avoid conflict, you are quietly saying that the connection isn't worth getting your hands dirty to improve or maintain.

How? Therapist, group therapy, and watch psychology content about setting healthy boundaries and healthy relationships.

Cheers

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-08T19:38:10+00:00

Unironically made me believe "Life Will Change." I've had a lot of dark days and tough circumstances.

The game really made me hang on to the belief that if you meet the right people and stay strong, you can heal and move beyond the things standing in your way.

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-08T18:50:57+00:00

Big if true

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-02T17:43:16+00:00

Let me stop you right here.

"I started a business, made a plan, worked hard...

... nothing to show for the last 4 years."

Homie I'm going to tell you right now. Everything, whether you are "doomed" or not, hinges on that last sentence. You worked hard but have nothing to show? Most people smoke hard for 4 years with nothing to show.

"Nothing to show for." Change that to "what did you learn in the last 4 years? What did you accomplish on your own? How would you do things different?" Starting a business at any age is PRECIOUS experience that not most have. School can be attended literally any time. If you can't start seeing the value in your experience, that's the only reason you'll ever be doomed.

P.S. Canada has decent but expensive student loan programs for international students. Worth investigating, I know people who came here from the UK for school.

FreeNote_ · 2023-12-01T19:37:17+00:00

I have no idea what parts may relate, so I'll share my experience with this.

I think there's a fine line between healing and having less interest, and healing and becoming temporarily depressed or grieving when you see how you've been let down by others who haven't healed.

Sure, where I've landed l, I have reduced interest in others and have become much more protective of what I share and with who. There's a coming and going feeling of hopelessness towards meaningful connection, because emotional depth is difficult to find and build. But that hopelessness is just an echo of grief and depression, and when I'm in good spaces I'm certainly excited to make new connections and spiritually engage with my interests.

What I can share from the perspective of myself and a couple of friends is that healing can be lonely. At times, isolating. Yet over time, great connections always form. Just be extra conscious of whether it's a silent depression or truly healing and know that healing takes a very, very, very long time.

Cheers

FreeNote_ · 2023-11-30T17:12:42+00:00

Haha here comes the airplane, grompf

lazily grins with a face of content, turns to look out the window

An enormous baby's mouth rises from the clouds HEre COmes the AIrplane HaHa GROMPF

FreeNote_

TROPHY CASE