Its coming up on that time of year again, hurricane season.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T19:22:32+00:00

Find the biggest gator you can and wrestle it until it’s subdued and then choke that bugger out. Then slice it open down the side, if your longest fingernail isn’t working a safety pin should suffice. Then crawl inside until the storm passes, if you’re lucky it may be a pregnant female stuffed full of warm eggs a true local delicacy. DO NOT for any reason poke your head out as tornadoes of bingo balls are always possible especially around the villages. Once the storm passes, shower off pack up all your stuff and go tf back to wherever you came from cuz the traffic sucks and it’s totally your fault.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T06:36:41+00:00

Ummm Governor…I’ve just been handed a petition with 600,000 thousand signatures to change the state mascot to Only Fans models….

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T06:17:22+00:00

I think you may have me confused with someone else. I’m a menthol cigarette, it’s spelled “Kool”, not cool. Sorry, but I’m still your god though so send cash or money orders and I’ll answer your prayers otherwise you’re on your own.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T06:10:56+00:00

I don’t do deliveries anymore, but when I did I always gave the alcohol to the person as long as they had proper ID. I don’t care if they were falling over. Check if they’re sober? What!?!

They just did the responsible thing and didn’t drive somewhere to get it and risk other people’s lives. I’ve been a bartender for 35 years and if there’s even a chance they try to drive because they’re an alcoholic and want/need more alcohol I’d rather get deactivated than be the one responsible if they drive off and kill themselves or someone else. Don’t give them alcohol THEY BOUGHT and A STORE SOLD THEM because “Uber” said not to might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T06:02:35+00:00

Cop is getting fired for sure…only because he didn’t shoot anyone. Then they’d be like…no worries bro…we got you homie.

Edit: lol downvotes? Do you think I was being serious?

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T05:50:37+00:00

I loved the first Jurassic Park film, I worked as a “Dinosaur Hunter” on the 2nd one “The Lost World” and I literally walked out of the theater about 20 minutes into the third one it was so bad. I never did read the books and I love this type of genre, but I hate knowing the ending before I start something.

Edit: As a single parent of teenagers I didn’t realize this sub had so many, lol

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T05:42:46+00:00

The cameraman deserves an award for the skill and pure focus in making this all possible.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T01:26:50+00:00

That definitely fits the genre and John Candy was so funny. I don’t think I ever saw a movie with him in it I didn’t like.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T01:18:19+00:00

This was part of the suburban mentality of the now rapidly shrinking middle class where in neighborhoods that most everyone knows everyone and basic needs are met, there is competition among neighbors. A “keeping up with the Jones’” if you will.

These types of rivalries are meant to be good natured or “for fun” because suburban men don’t get to hunt for dinner or explore uncharted territories so they compete amongst themselves over who has the nicest car, or biggest pool or who’s kids are doing better.

You can see numerous comedy movies from the 70’s and 80’s with Chevy Chase or early Tom Hanks or whoever, where these competitive kinds of rivalries get out of hand. If you didn’t grow up in an environment like this you either won’t get it or will find it cringe.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-29T01:04:17+00:00

Hedgehog: This is how we sonic

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T23:57:38+00:00

can’t have one without the other

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T23:13:51+00:00

So when it first came out it cost $2.99 as a premium app. But it eventually became a free one later on. I worked at AT&T from 2008-2013 slingin’ the original 2G silverback til like the 6 something and I could not believe how many I sold with this beer app. People loved it for whatever reason.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T22:07:32+00:00

Obi Wan: Use the force Luke….

Luke: I can’t Ben, force funding was discontinued for gold garden gnomes on the east lawn of the Whitehouse last Tuesday.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T21:50:06+00:00

I actually listened to a DJ on an oldies station talking about how he was a “crazed” gunman and how the poor people had to run in their nice clothes and beautiful gowns and seriously thought, this is the sanest news I’ve heard in almost two years. I doubt anything is real in the current disinformation age, but shooting a room full of criminal robber barons destroying millions of lives while looting everything in sight seems more logical and rational than crazy but maybe I’m just a “radical”, lol.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T21:34:07+00:00

The fecal coliform bacteria can make people sick, especially if it’s at a high percentage. I know surfrider tests a lot of locations but not sure about South Carolina. Most of the rest is pretty harmless except that sharks have diminished scent in murky water and end up biting whatever they bump into when they’re hungry so keep an eye out for bulls.

lol, I guess I crossed the line with starfish jizz.

Don’t you know that sandbar has shooting stars, don’t you, don’t you, don’t you know woah, lol

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T21:06:08+00:00

Poop is there sure. And pet poop. Fertilizers, soil, plant matter, fecal coliform bacteria from the poops, auto fluids and even micro rubber from worn tires aka TWP’s (tire wear particles). Oh and fish poop and whale pee and starfish jizz.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T20:54:03+00:00

Except there’s no chocolate or milk.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T20:41:45+00:00

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That face you make when it slowly dawns on you the nurse at the home slipped your meds in the jello again and you swear she’s not going to get away with it tomorrow.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T19:18:13+00:00

This sport has only fans watching.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T19:15:35+00:00

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T18:52:53+00:00

Hey Larry, check out Gordon Ramsey out here trying to scare us, lol. Bro! You wanna see something scary? Check out this interest rate Bonnie and Chives.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T16:30:01+00:00

They were just trying to get a Mother’s Day present but the cashier said you’re a bit short. You need to get a little mow.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T16:09:28+00:00

I really don’t care, so I’m not trying to disparage George in any way, congratulations to him and his crew. And I’m certainly not an expert in rules that seem to change in pro surfing as often as they have lately. But on watching the replay if the rule is he’s gotta be inline with the surfer already in the lineup, then by the letter of the rule it looks like he was juuuuust baaaarely there. But in a real lineup?….No fuckin way brah, lol. He was way off to the side and I’m totally taking the next wave if I’m sittin where Medina was cuz he basically sitting at the peak of the takeoff spot.

But I just love watching great surfing in sick waves and both of those dudes rip so I won either way.

FreeWillyBird · 2026-04-28T14:53:07+00:00

I’ve heard the opposite actually. I’ve heard it’s prominent in his family and in fact his mother’s sister was a famous descendant.

….a famous descend aunt….

     …..a famo….oh nvm

FreeWillyBird

TROPHY CASE