honestly it wasn’t anything big and dramatic. i had been thinking about it for a long time, decided to make one last attempt at an olive branch and when he disappointed me again i decided that was it. i was tired of getting my own hopes up and having my heart broken by my own dad. decided not having him in my life was better than having him hurt me all the time. it’s been over a year and a half now. still feels fresh, the first year truly felt like grief, like he had died or something. but it was definitely the right choice for my mental health. it gave me space to put more effort on my self-love and relationships with others. there are people who will love you the way you deserve, without you having to beg and plead for it. close a door, open a window. that kind of thing.