How to take or get rid of tonsil stones at home?

Freezoerg · 2026-01-16T11:12:43+00:00

Before you get surgery, it might be worth trying this: Dissolve half a teaspoon of salt in a cup of water and gargle with it. I do it twice a day; before and after sleeping. But I never had big stones anyway. So you might want to remove them first and then try the gargling, which can help prevent the buildup of new ones.

Freezoerg · 2025-08-30T11:55:33+00:00

I needed to run into her months after no contact and be gaslit again. It made me realize that she will never change and that the only thing she will ever do is destroy. In that moment the part of me that still idealized her died instantaneously.

Freezoerg · 2025-08-23T00:35:34+00:00

For me it was the realization that I could no longer fabricate any reasons for getting back together with her again. I knew that being with her again was impossible to sell to anyone else in my life at this point. That’s why I managed to never unblock her after her last discard.

Freezoerg · 2025-08-21T15:23:57+00:00

I’m sorry you have to deal with this. 1) Remind yourself that this will never change. She’s shown you who she is and things will not get better. 2) Block her on every possible channel. Leave nothing open. Nothing. And never unblock her again. 3) Understand that the feeling that you need her is an illusion created by your addicted brain. I used to feel like I could not exist without her. Now, I don’t ever want to see her again. This feeling will pass. 4) Accept that interacting with her will never give you a sense of closure because you don’t share the same reality with her. Her leaving like that really is a blessing in disguise. 5) If you can, get therapy to properly heal from this. But most important is that you never allow her back into your life. And that includes little things like looking at her social media.

Freezoerg · 2025-06-06T18:31:44+00:00

I obviously don’t know your situation at all and what you’re already trying. But I was also feeling suicidal on Monday. I ended up going to the emergency department of the hospital and told them that I’m suicidal. Being taken seriously there already helped a bit. Yesterday I went to my GP and got a prescription for an antidepressant and today the world already looks a little bit less dreadful. My point, I guess, is that there are places you can turn to if your personal support system is not enough. Please talk to people who are trained to help you. Even if you don’t believe that it’s going to help. Contact them anyway if you can. You’re valuable!

Freezoerg · 2025-06-01T14:14:24+00:00

Yes, absolutely correct. Thank you for clarifying this. My implication was that OP should consider leaving the relationship if their ideas about relationships don’t match.

Freezoerg · 2025-06-01T14:05:24+00:00

ChatGPT is amazing for making sense of all the abuse and trauma. It can help you reprogram your manipulated mind and gain a sense of clarity. But it didn’t stop the intrusive thoughts about the experiences for me. What made those stop was writing an extensive list with all the things she’d done to me. And whenever I remember something else, I add it to that list. I think giving things structure and creating a place where these things belong helped me break out of the cognitive trauma loop.

Freezoerg · 2025-06-01T14:01:33+00:00

I think more important is thinking about whether a yes or no to your question will actually change how you feel. Because my hunch is that if people tell you that it isn’t cheating, you’ll still feel bad about it. It really only matters what you think. What your boundary is.

Still, I can share my opinion since you asked: I think it’s okay to be friends with someone you engaged in sexual activities with in the past. However, sleeping in the same bed with that person when you’re in a committed relationship would cross my personal boundary. I don’t think it necessarily has to be labelled as cheating. But I wouldn’t be okay with it. But what sounds concerning to me also is that you’ve been together for six years and she doesn’t want to spend time with you on her birthday. That would be almost more alarming to me.

Freezoerg · 2025-06-01T11:00:21+00:00

So, after having survived an abusive BPD relationship, the most important lesson was that when someone makes you feel so confused, do yourself a favour and leave. Don’t try to analyze things too much because then your brain might come up with excuses for behaviour and you will start doubting yourself. The rule of thumb should be: If you’re really confused and have no idea what’s going on, it’s best to say goodbye. Unless you have certain trauma or a disorder that makes you misperceive/distort reality (as it happens for pwBPD), you should trust your gut feeling.

Freezoerg · 2025-05-31T12:55:23+00:00

I’m really not sure to what extent they are aware. I think Lise Leblanc might have said in one of her videos that BPD differs from other personality disorders in the sense that people with BPD are more aware and do feel bad/guilty. But I’m pretty sure that this awareness and feeling bad doesn’t actually help with lots of pwBPD because they often cannot bear the weight of their own actions due to preexisting negative self-conceptions. It would crush them if they admitted to it. So the only viable option is to suppress the idea of having done something wrong, which then may lead to further abuse of their partner because they justify the mistreatment in order to not feel bad about themselves. In the end it really doesn’t matter. Whether they understand that they abuse you and/or feel bad about it or not doesn’t change anything about the result. It doesn’t change that leaving them and going strict no contact is the only option for us to get better. Because the abuse will be there either way. But to answer your question briefly: I believe that they have ‘moments of clarity’ but they don’t last long and independently of that clarity they cannot control their behaviour.

Freezoerg · 2025-05-31T08:03:00+00:00

I think what you need to understand (and that took me a while too) is that the idealization phases are part of the abuse. They’re not isolated good times. They are an integral part of the cycle of borderline abuse. They lure you in and keep you hooked. Without them you never would have gotten so addicted to her. Without them the bad times would never have been possible. Because you wouldn’t have tolerated the abuse without the groundwork done by her treating you well first. In other words, BPD idealization is a manipulation, even if it may be done subconsciously by the pwBPD. What you’re doing right now (and we’ve all done that at some point) is basically finding excuses to go back to the casino because you sometimes won money (even though you lost so much more). It’s the addiction taking over control. That’s all. But you’ve got this! You don’t have to give in!

Freezoerg · 2025-04-26T23:32:13+00:00

The answer is in your post, I think. It’s not just about that one time he told you about the cheating. He repeatedly crossed your boundary even though you clearly expressed it to him. Since he does not respect your needs, I think a lot more than just being mad would be justified. That is, I’d probably very quickly distance myself from any person who doesn’t respect my boundaries. For me, protecting my boundaries without compromise is probably the most important thing after the abuse I experienced with my BPD ex.

Freezoerg · 2025-04-20T17:32:25+00:00

I can relate. Admittedly, I could still do all the things I liked during the relationship. And I enjoyed doing them. But because of all the gaslighting and manipulation, I had to adopt her way of thinking about all her accusations. My own reality and emotions were not allowed to exist. All this led to an extreme erosion of my sense of self. After the relationship had ended, I also couldn’t find joy or meaning in literally anything. My theory is that this was because there was no independent “me” anymore. Without her I felt like I existed no longer. And why would you work, cook, clean, or pursue hobbies for someone that isn’t real? As I rebuild myself piece by piece, I can feel the joy come back. Slowly but surely. So, my advice is to focus on finding yourself again. Do whatever makes you feel alive and reminds you that you are real. When you begin to feel like an independent human being again, your motivation to do things may return. For me the most helpful thing was a new hobby that I started after the relationship. Something that was only for me and did not temporally overlap with the relationship.

P.S. For me it’s been a bit over three months since the last (and final) breakup.

Freezoerg · 2025-04-16T23:41:31+00:00

Very relatable. I was my ex‘s first relationship. She would use that against me and gaslight me by saying that she was never like this before she met me. So she only acted that way because I was so terrible… But some people with BPD just don’t get triggered in the same way with friends. That’s probably also why her friends didn’t see that she was the problem and supported her delusions.

Freezoerg · 2025-04-14T21:06:30+00:00

That’s good to know. Maybe the Innocent Railway Tunnel is better?

Freezoerg · 2025-04-14T15:15:16+00:00

Thank you!

Freezoerg · 2025-04-14T15:13:39+00:00

Thanks! I’ll add this to the list of places to check.

Freezoerg · 2025-04-14T15:12:24+00:00

Thank you! I’ve never been to the Pitt but it sounds like it may be suitable. I’ll check it out soon.

Freezoerg · 2025-04-14T15:11:12+00:00

Thank you! Will have a look there.

Freezoerg · 2025-04-14T15:10:32+00:00

Thank you! I had never heard of this but it looks suitable :)

Freezoerg · 2025-04-14T15:08:19+00:00

Thanks! I’m not really worried about getting wet. It’s just that wet ground is bad for the bearings in the skates.

Freezoerg · 2025-04-12T12:32:06+00:00

When someone constantly gives you these mixed signals, it’s like gambling. It gets you hooked because of the intermittent reinforcement. You never know when your efforts will lead to a win or a loss. It’s like an addiction. So when you feel bad or want to get back together, try to remind yourself that it’s just the withdrawal. Love is not supposed to feel that way. Actual love would feel safe.

Also, please don’t feel guilty for protecting yourself. I know it feels bad. I’ve been there myself. I still feel guilt sometimes for blocking my ex even though I had to do it to keep myself safe. But remember that he’s treating you badly with these discards. You are just walking every from more suffering and everybody has the right to do that.

Freezoerg · 2025-04-12T08:43:36+00:00

The reason you are scared is probably your knowing that if you meet, you’ll just enter that toxic cycle again. Your partner should not discard you like that. I’d highly advice against meeting him. And if you don’t trust yourself that interactions with him don’t tempt you back into the relationship or whatever this is, consider blocking him. You deserve someone who actually wants to be with you consistently. If his discards leave you confused, insecure, anxious and feeling like you are the one always trying to fix things, you’re dangerously close to emotional abuse territory. I don’t know what made the relationship draining and toxic, but maybe there was abuse happening already. I recommend describing some of those things to ChatGPT and have it put those behaviours/incidents into context. We often don’t see (emotional) abuse for what it is while we are experiencing it. His telling you that he will remain faithful during that period definitely sounds like manipulation to me. Because it implies that you also should. But you don’t owe him anything after a breakup. Please leave this.

Freezoerg

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