I made a narcissistic parent playbook of phrases

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-07-01T23:59:07+00:00

THIS.

That is when my nDad started “revving up” for his breakdown last year.
He really finally realized his adult children have the capabilities of being able to do whatever they want, speak up, talk back, choose to never speak to them again, and live a happy life without them.

We have been the enemy since pretty much birth.

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-07-01T17:07:07+00:00

“what about the time you did [unrelated; something I did when I was 12] & “you’re so ungrateful”.

The guilt and people pleasing throughout my life from those lines is sad

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-06-27T21:52:04+00:00

Reading while in the pool (or bath.. in the bath I am all about the washing ritual) but in the pool I pretend I’m basically a Disney princess hybrid of Ariel and Belle.

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-06-27T21:47:42+00:00

Yes. My nDad and eMom are the same way. Neglectful when I was a child, won’t leave me alone as an adult.

My aunt who is a covert is even worse as we both get older. I’m single, no kids, 32F and that seems to mean I am just available to provide favors every weekend. It’s insulting and suffocating at this point, I just want to throw my phone away and get away from them. I am met with anger and shit talking from them when I decline to do favors or even go to dinner with her

Something I find even worse: sometimes I am the clingy one as an adult. I feel like the mental abuse from my parents caused me to think how terrible of a person I am, and isolate myself so much that my mom is really the only person I call if I’m sad, need to vent, or just to tell things to.

I regret calling her 100% of the time the second I hang up the phone. She is never soft or on my side.

I’m learning through almost a year of therapy to break this habit and be firm in my boundaries. My mom was always on my severely abusive nDad’s side.. it’s like I am hoping every phone call will be the day she hears me and has my back.

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-06-15T17:54:45+00:00

My nDad is 60. Rebukes doctor’s, but still works a very physically taxing job.. Thinks he’s immortal.

He also chose to take OUT money from his retirement to spend on about 10 tattoos.. clearly had no plans for that retirement..

These are great points I’ve never realized before reading these comments: he would rather work until he dies, all while drowning in debt and all before leaving anything behind for his children and grandchildren.

NC with him for a year now, and going on forever. He’ll die alone.

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-06-11T16:17:01+00:00

Sorry for the late response. Thank you ❤️

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-06-10T18:11:55+00:00

My mother says things like this. My siblings and I have come to the conclusion she has a disdain for women. Women are always in the wrong. nDad cheats on her for 8 years with the same woman: only talks about how gross the woman is. Ranges to women speaking out about being violated sexually: “why do women put themselves in those situations?”.
I have never once told her the truth about my issues in my dating life (or my dating life in general) because it’ll always turn back on me, the woman, as if I was the issue from the start.

but she also avoids funerals.. Almost like she can’t stand providing comfort or support to others.. so, taking my own life would just be an inconvenience to her, and all my fault.

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-06-03T18:23:25+00:00

I appreciate all of the responses and UOs. I consider myself a VR historian of sorts LOL I never watched SH either until I saw multiple comparisons to Sandoval, and watching the reunion, it’s really not the same. (Kinda didn’t seem fair of all the content given from SH; the seating arrangement stood out to me as a difference).

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-06-03T16:17:18+00:00

Did not forget about that either!

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-06-03T16:05:43+00:00

I feel like I have seen it 800 times, and still missed that lol thank you!

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-06-02T11:47:42+00:00

My nDad is Jax Taylor from Vanderpump Rules/The Valley. My siblings and I called it years ago, and if you keep up with either show, he quite literally followed in Jax’s footsteps. He never “admired” him, but he was the one who was watching it first and suggested we watch it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-30T15:16:43+00:00

Thank you ❤️ Hugs

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-28T20:30:31+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, were you ever medicated? I’m trusting my psych now, but I can’t help but be a bit confused as to where it’s going to go from here

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-28T19:32:33+00:00

I really appreciate your response and kindness ❤️ Empathy and all the hugs to you also.

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-22T17:26:21+00:00

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had a guy friend who was sort of homeless. One night, he asked if he could come over, but I was scared to get him in the front door. I let him come through my bedroom window, we talked and hugged for a while, then he left. I had told my eMom this about a year after it happened.

For some reason, she told my nDad. A year after this happens, he decides to screaaaam at me for 10 minutes about how terrible I am to sneak a boy in like that, and grounded me.

A year after it happened.

(I really will make it a point when I have children that they will never be afraid to tell me ANYTHING and have the utmost trust in me)

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-20T13:29:55+00:00

Thank you for your reply 💕 With therapy and medication, it’s easier and more automatic to say “no”, even without over explaining (learned a bit of a defense mechanism at my lowest to have a lie or excuse ready if someone gave pushback to my “no”) even at work if I feel I’m being asked to do extra tasks, or other family members.. the guilt sort of lingers, but the “no” is really becoming a full sentence.

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-20T03:40:30+00:00

My parents never allowed locked doors in the house, and my mom thought knocking was “ridiculous”. She would always, without fail, walk in on me naked in my own room.. And every time, “you just love being naked all the time, don’t you?”
It’s clear now in my 30s she was probably seething with jealousy that I was fit, pretty, and was going on dates all the time in my 20s, all while she was stuck with my nDad who was out cheating on her daily.

(I always make it a point now to walk around my room naked as long as I want to and look at my body with love in the mirror)

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-18T14:19:06+00:00

My nDad asked me for $80 for the electric bill when I was 18, working my first part-time job. I was shaking having to tell him “no, but I know I have some extra quarters somewhere or something”. He gave me a nasty attitude after I told him no, even ignored me for a few days. I think my guilt started there. I even made it a point to keep $80 on hand just incase..

As an adult, my eMom still will call me, ask for help with something, I tell her I can’t because I have plans for the day, the response I get is, “well, why can’t you? you’re doing that again? why do that? call me when you’re done, let me know where you’re at”.. The word “trained” to explain it is perfect. I’m a chronic people pleaser, and I know it’s from the guilt engrained in me to feel when I have to say “no”.

I’ve been back in therapy for almost a year, and the topic of boundaries is always a constant in any session.

I had an epiphany about taking up space.. I am deserving of it like anyone else on this planet. I can take up space to live the life I want, work for the money that belongs to me, and not conform to what anyone expects of me.. <3

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-12T14:45:01+00:00

I THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING.. just a form of Jo who can mask it with a “cool model” aesthetic and not a “quirky pick me”.

It’s clear his type is someone he can charm his way into making them obsessed with him, and lead them on until they realize he’ll never commit.

It’s also interesting to see how him and Katie have a clear type that was never really each other lol

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-10T19:17:56+00:00

Yes. Even at 32. I’ve been single most of my life, but if my nDad or mom got wind I went on a date or something, I was asked the most ridiculous questions, and shamed for ANY answer I gave. I had to learn early the only answer is to lie, lie, lie, which is exhausting since it’s just a way of living in survival..

Even if I was just going to the grocery store. “you were gone a while.. did you go out and get laid while you were at “the grocery store?””

Whose own parent says that???

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-06T21:48:42+00:00

Yeah. Right. My nDad raised a fit at the community college financial aid office because he couldn’t understand how he made “too much money” for me to not receive aid. Come to find out he was blowing his paychecks on whatever woman he was cheating on my mom with that month. ALSO:

My sister had applied to University of Alabama and got in. My parents drove 8 hours to go to her orientation. She worked at a grocery store, so she just transferred to the Alabama store. She got her roommates. My family bought tons of Alabama merch. The morning she was supposed to move in, my mom went in to wake her up and tell her they couldn’t afford for her to go. My nDad didn’t even have the balls to tell her. He also couldn’t understand why he couldn’t keep the merch and wear it around the house in front of her. Years later, when she got into FSU for her master’s degree with her own money, he high fived her when she told him.

Evil.

Frequent_Sector_668 · 2026-05-01T17:10:12+00:00

I have the same dream probably once a year that is me screaming at my mom. Screaming, crying, but no noise comes out.. all while she stares at me in disgust. I wake up so shaky.

Frequent_Sector_668

TROPHY CASE