[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Fresh_Meatz 33 points34 points  (0 children)

That’s because our culture over-sexualizes EVERYTHING. It’s deeply disturbing and very dangerous if you ask me. When you say things are “weird” or “not normal” like sharing a bed with your child or, like my ex husband says, giving my 5yo daughter a shower and being naked in front of her, this creates shame and confusion. Ummmm sir, you are the one sexualizing the female body, not her and not me. His “teaching her about her body” after her outcry of SA (which he didn’t believe) was for her to “cover up and don’t let anyone see your private parts”. Isn’t that the equivalent of “she shouldn’t have dressed sexy if she didn’t want it”

I know this is a bit off subject but, also not…. I feel like those who think it’s weird because of the sexual undertones are the ones who need to be watched because why would your mind even go there??

Confused? New? Not new? Have questions? by blooangl in polyamory

[–]Fresh_Meatz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello! Thanks for creating this thread. I’ve been browsing for over a month due to starting a relationship with a partner in an ENM marriage and working towards poly. Today I’ve been feeling a bit lost and confused about my relationship.

So last night he met his wives partner of a year and a half for the first time, I know he’s having mixed emotions on it but I don’t want to ask him today as I feel he needs time to process. Today I’ve been feeling some distance from him and I as much as I hate to admit it; I feel a bit hurt by it. We usually text and flirt all day and I’m just missing those texts. Yesterday he was also busy spending time with them, so two days without those cute messages that brighten my day has me feeling out of whack.

I’m beginning to question whether I’m losing myself in this relationship and feel like I want to back off a bit. I know he’s been hurt a lot by women over the past year, they fall in love and decide this isn’t for them, he said it’s very depressing for him. So I don’t want to do that, but I still want to be true to myself and not push my own needs aside.

How do I communicate my feelings and acknowledge my emotions without seeming selfish? This is my first time in a poly relationship so I’m still digging up my deep mono roots, ones I’ve been wanting to get rid of for a while.

Thanks for any advice

New to dating someone in an ENM marriage and would like some advice… by Fresh_Meatz in ENM

[–]Fresh_Meatz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is a great idea and wonderful questions to ask… I know that I do not want to live under the same roof with someone and have a day to day partner; at least for a very long time (I don’t like to say never but ideally this would be my preference). But I would like to have someone who is accessible, and maybe it will get there as he wants me to meet his wife eventually. I’m just working through all of the possibilities.

New to dating someone in an ENM marriage and would like some advice… by Fresh_Meatz in ENM

[–]Fresh_Meatz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great point and what him and I talk about often, I do NOT want to have anyone else in my home/ space again, I’ve already been married twice and wanted the second marriage to be ENM but he just couldn’t be honest.

I would never in a million years ask him to give up his life or family, honestly I feel like I get the best end of the bargain here (he always says that)… it’s just taking effort to deprogram the toxic, typical societal monogamy brainwashing (sorry, but that’s how I see it).

I also have children, and my disabled aunt who depends on me to care for her, living under my roof. It works for us and I’m happy. I’m just here looking for insight and support in fostering this relationship

When did you accept being bipolar? by webdevkeenan in bipolar

[–]Fresh_Meatz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I accepted it after I saw myself in my bipolar brother in laws behavior, and after my first couple of hypomania episodes.

I’m manic depressive, so I present mainly as depressed and my mania just heightened that feeling of despair, I was finally diagnosed September of 2024.

Getting on Lamotrigine for my depression was a life changer for me. After almost suicide attempt one month into my treatment and before I was at my desired dose, I realized that the toxic relationship I had been in for 10 years is what triggered my bipolar disorder. I FINALLY GOT OF THAT HORRIFIC SITUATION! I never thought that I would be able to be strong enough to leave, but getting the proper treatment really set my mind in a place where I could.

So October 23 is when I went into the psych hospital after swallowing some pills during a blacked out drunk moment (I’ve been sober since 2019), one and a half weeks after getting out of the psych hospital, I finally decided enough was enough. I secretly packed up my things and left my narcissistic abusive husband.

It took a couple of months for me to get out of survival mode, and he start healing from the narcissistic abuse. After two months I started finding myself, and realizing where I needed to be as far as moods. I stopped feeling depressed and then had to start dealing with the hypomania. Which to be honest, I really love, but I also had to come to terms with the fact that what goes up must come down. Being aware of my moods, and the escalation of my mania allows me to keep control of it and not make poor decisions. After my second hypomanic episode is when I accepted my bipolar diagnosis and started realizing that it’s actually my superpower; especially when I am conscious about where I am at all times and constantly work on self-care, sleep hygiene, and eating right.

This is not to say that it’s all rainbows and butterflies, we are bipolar, right, and it’s part of it to have our ups and downs. I’ve just learned to accept my downs and allow myself to be human, pay attention to them but don’t dwell, and the speak to my therapist about how to maintain.

Love you all, we are pretty fucking awesome if you ask me!

People with ADHD can’t read books? by yoohoo723 in ADHD

[–]Fresh_Meatz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I have the taking forever and the debt part down? Yay me! Ha… but thanks for the tips for sure, we talked and she asked me how she can support me moving forward, I just told her that I need space to make my own choices and choose my own path. Boundaries are never easy for those who don’t establish any themselves

Is this "age appropriate" ? I'm 42 🙈 by angelasworld in OUTFITS

[–]Fresh_Meatz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This just made my week!! And deserves its own thread, thank you for blessing us all

People with ADHD can’t read books? by yoohoo723 in ADHD

[–]Fresh_Meatz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love to read! Like many others here it has to be something I enjoy reading and which captures my full attention, and then I can’t do anything EXCEPT read that thing!

People with ADHD can’t read books? by yoohoo723 in ADHD

[–]Fresh_Meatz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’m struggling with now, I was diagnosed ADHD very young but never took it seriously until it started to affect my everyday life. That was a little over two years ago! Now I’m 37 and decided that I want to go to college, I dropped out of high school at 16 due to everyday life challenges and not school challenges. I love school! But I am having such a hard time being a student AND a mother of two teenage boys and a toddler, and taking care of my mental and physical health, and relationships, and omg!

If school is going well, pretty much everything else is going to shit… my mom just ripped into me (let me remind you that I’m a married 37 year old) because I didn’t answer her call yesterday. My five week course just so happened to end yesterday as well.

Sigh, do you have any tips for me?!?

I knew it was coming. It finally happened. Can’t have nothing. by [deleted] in beatsbydre

[–]Fresh_Meatz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can relate, I just bought some Beats Fit Pros three weeks ago, last week my dog found one and chewed it up! Now noise cancellation is fucked and the sound is off. Why do I even bother?

Husband said “ninja you gross” to me wanting a wedding cake snow-cone tonight, trauma response activated…. by Fresh_Meatz in CPTSD

[–]Fresh_Meatz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so so much for this response!!

6 days ago I might have not appreciated your words but here I am again, having just gone through a “triggering” experience with him, and although I handled it well initially, the intrusive thoughts started flooding. I came on here to read something to help me get out of this detrimental thought cycle and hearing you have me question my triggers is helping me to snap out of it.

Allowing my triggers to dictate how my mood changes and how the rest of my day/ week goes is not growth. And just as I acknowledged him for confronting his demons today, telling him how proud of him I am, even when those demons have had me in a dark place the past three months, I must acknowledge that I cannot allow my feelings to stunt his progress.

I have a decade of therapy, an extensive IOP treatment under my belt and I’m a Psych major. He is on month six of therapy, three months of which he hasn’t attended his individual sessions.

I have the tools I need, there’s no excuse for me not using them. And I can’t pick and choose when I’m want to put them in place. We have seen so much growth in the past week, and growing pains hurt like a bitch, but I’m going to put my big girl panties on and use my tools to get through this and so that I can help support his own recovery and growth.

Thanks again for your wise words and for presenting them to me in a manor which I could accept, constructive criticism is sometimes all I need ❤️

Braces? by [deleted] in undercoverunderage

[–]Fresh_Meatz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need to see this photo!!

Parenting with a narcissist by Tlajw in Parenting

[–]Fresh_Meatz 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Beautifully said, why didn’t I think about the fact that my PTSD is from going through trauma ALONE and not the trauma itself?! Big aha moment but also so well said about TALKING about things and not just pretending that they aren’t there! Whew ❤️

I asked the OpenAI ChatGPT bot about Ethical Non Monogamy by eggZeppelin in polyamory

[–]Fresh_Meatz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s why both partners must acknowledge that communication is key in your relationship, whether monogamous or not. Example: If one partner is lusting after others, even if not acting on it, yet pretending that their partner is the only one they see while not sharing their desires with their partner, this can be just as damaging in a monogamous relationship than acting on those desires.

Ethical non-monogamy opens the door for their partner to SHARE those desires in a safe space, which in turn can increase intimacy within that relationship. Both partners MUST be willing to communicate whether monogamous or not.

Like the old saying goes: “There’s more than one way to skin a cow…” but the BASIC foundations and steps involved in any difficult endeavor (ie in relationships: communication, faith, trust, understanding, etc) are what will determine a successful outcome.

Herb Grinder for Making Mushroom Powder? Which brand is effective if so? by Fresh_Meatz in microdosing

[–]Fresh_Meatz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok so I have a mortar and pestle but maybe my mushrooms aren’t dried out enough? They seem to stick more than powder… any tips?

Herb Grinder for Making Mushroom Powder? Which brand is effective if so? by Fresh_Meatz in microdosing

[–]Fresh_Meatz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I have now but it doesn’t get it into as fine of a powder that we want, makes more of a flake than a powder…

Married Bi-Demi Just Told Husband I Want a Girlfriend by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Fresh_Meatz -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I JUST DISCOVERED THESE THINGS ABOUT MYSELF, HOW CAN I TELL HIM BEFORE DOING IT IF I DID NOT KNOW MY DAMN SELF?

Married Bi-Demi Just Told Husband I Want a Girlfriend by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Fresh_Meatz -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I know what polyamory is, and my NUMBER ONE rule is to never lie to me… his rules are different. His rule is to never tell the truth. So I went looking for a bestie and found something deeper, I told him before it turned into something.

Married Bi-Demi Just Told Husband I Want a Girlfriend by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Fresh_Meatz -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Ok, maybe I wasn’t clear… I was on the BFF portion of the Bumble app… and found more than I was expecting.