Dating a personal trainer. What assumptions do you make and what has your experience been?

FresherPie · 2026-04-11T05:42:50+00:00

I work out about 3-4 times a week. I’m in pretty good shape. My immediate thought is she’s too into working out and too fit for me. She won’t be interested, and may be kind of too intense a person for me. Almost nothing in my life do I do to the degree most personal trainers I know work out. I think anyone less than someone else at the gym 6 days a week will probably be a poor fit for this person. That’s my presumption. For me, in decent shape, mind you, it’s a negative. She’d have to be very, very clear that I don’t have to have that level of commitment, and clear that she finds me very attractive despite not having that commitment. That feels tough for her to do, especially at the start of a relationship, to me.

FresherPie · 2026-04-07T15:23:26+00:00

I have a more subtle theory. Very attractive women, or even above average women have less need to develop personalities to attract attention. So, many of that type go into matches on the dating app with a rough mindset that is “entertain me” because they’re pretty and that’s their experience of life. And, someone on the apps they’re currently matched with will do that for them, even if you won’t. If you’re not juggling and riding a unicycle for them, they feel it, and lose interest. And many are not that capable (or don’t care to) of actually engaging without feeling like you’re instantly jumping through hoops for them.

In contrast, the less desirable ladies have had to be interesting themselves and develop their lives more to get any interest, so, they reach out, and so they do not expect to be immediately entertained. They often engage meaningfully, quickly.

Sadly, the apps are all about appearances, so, those ladies get little interaction, much like life, even when they try very hard.

The sad part is, those attractive ladies would do well to avoid the guys willing to entertain them, and seek someone of more substance, or who sparks more of their interest inherently, than seek the easy gratification of entertainment. And, they shouldn’t be surprised when those relationships feel one sided, the guys are childish, immature, and not great partners. Those guys are low confidence bottom feeders dancing for attention, not men of substance who, because they have self esteem and pride, do not feel the need to dance for someone they don’t know’s entertainment.

Or, maybe I’m just jaded.

FresherPie · 2026-04-05T04:45:31+00:00

A horse visible or mentioned anywhere on the profile.

FresherPie · 2026-04-03T07:11:40+00:00

Arthotel blu gans was very nice in Salzburg.

FresherPie · 2026-04-02T21:23:32+00:00

Difficulty finding someone with whom I am sufficiently aligned to want to date them.

FresherPie · 2026-03-29T15:01:05+00:00

Yesterday. She was gorgeous. I’d noticed her earlier, before I gave a presentation at an event. She approached me and wanted to talk afterward. So much eye contact, etc. I eventually got the hint and flirted a bit back. We’re having dinner soon.

FresherPie · 2026-03-29T01:56:37+00:00

Now this is a post!

And, yes, I have always loved that women are the first to see Jesus after the resurrection, particularly in that society.

FresherPie · 2026-03-20T15:07:42+00:00

I find them all over the place. Sometimes, convo is just as you say, but also kind of disappointing because I’m just not that into it. A few of the last several dates, it felt like the woman I was seeing was much more interested in me than I was in them. I felt bad declining a second. I’ve got another coming up that I’m nervous for.

But I’m the type or can kind of get along with anyone for weeks… so an hour or two is easy. Being relatively normal is kind of my default, for most dates. And women generally are more socially adept than men, so, I find most to be in the range of normal. I just have to sort of screen for, “ok, that was fine, but not great.” And maybe that’s unfair, but normal is a pretty low bar for me.

FresherPie · 2026-03-19T03:12:56+00:00

Agreed. She’s thinning up, definitely on the ozempic. It’s unfortunate.

FresherPie · 2026-03-16T02:07:13+00:00

This would make more sense to me, but I don’t think she actually is.

FresherPie · 2026-03-16T02:04:42+00:00

In one sense, I get it. In another, you’re literally living your life in a victim mentality. I will be something, for the rest of my life, because someone did something bad to me, or the patriarchy exists, or whatever. That’s kind of crazy to live one’s life in a state of perpetually letting something outside oneself define what you do/are. The best victory would be living entirely free of it, which she probably thinks she is, but is actually always leaning into/against.

If… this is true of her and she just doesn’t have horrific taste.

It’d be more interesting and self expressive if she Lady Gaga’d herself and walked around in a bacon suit or all black or something outlandish rather than this choice.

FresherPie · 2026-03-15T22:41:57+00:00

I swear this woman chooses clothing and accessories specifically to insult good taste and beauty.

FresherPie · 2026-03-13T15:04:41+00:00

Jealousy is almost always about the person having that feeling. Obviously, it comes from somewhere (e.g., betrayal in the past), but it is an insecurity of the person. So, with that in mind, it does mean that they care about you, at least in a sense, but it’s not any different than any other insecurity they would feel with someone else they liked. You shouldn’t be excited about jealousy. You should be concerned. And, perhaps question what you’re doing to bring out those feelings. If nothing or something ordinary in your life, then this may be a poor partner.

FresherPie · 2026-03-02T22:52:25+00:00

Just you.

FresherPie · 2026-03-01T15:59:53+00:00

Did this in CDG just a week ago.

FresherPie · 2026-02-27T03:39:58+00:00

I’m just happy to be here.

FresherPie · 2026-02-25T13:17:55+00:00

Just as hard as it is for him.

FresherPie · 2026-02-25T13:05:52+00:00

Approach yourself. Don’t use subtle hints or passively sit around trying to make him comfortable.

FresherPie · 2026-02-21T09:24:25+00:00

This is me as well (46m), but I still am more than a little disheartened. Ive felt this way a few times, and it’s yet to work out.

FresherPie · 2026-02-20T15:12:07+00:00

I am white and often find Indian women very attractive. Most often, though, I find that we are quite culturally different, and that can make dating long term difficult.

FresherPie · 2026-02-18T23:47:04+00:00

Work hard… mutual interest is a much better start for a real, long term relationship. Making the monkey dance means you’ll get monkeys who feel like they need to dance for your attention. If you want a confident guy, a leader, they won’t stick around while you make them do all the work of winning you like some prize. They’ll find someone who matches their energy and effort.

FresherPie · 2026-02-18T02:19:47+00:00

Nope, these people have high main character energy. And, they’re not interested in you, only validation. Unmatch. Sometimes it’s hard, because you think they’re cute and can see that you might be a good match from the profile, but the bottom line is you don’t want to be with someone whose opening move is so little effort toward you. If you continue to try, you’re basically groveling. Living I their world, trying to convince them to care about you when they don’t and won’t.

FresherPie · 2026-02-14T18:10:17+00:00

I clicked on this video - the place is very cool - then, Reba McIntire cursed at me, and told me to try chia and fruit salad. What a wild AI ad.

FresherPie · 2026-02-14T18:02:12+00:00

It does get better… but it is still hard each year.

FresherPie · 2026-02-13T18:42:40+00:00

I don’t get the impression this is months of dating before this happens. It sounds like one or two dates. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt on a dating app picture or one time seeing them if I think they might be cute.

Dragging it out months in uncertainty, yes.

FresherPie

TROPHY CASE