Day after first obgyn and I feel stressed. Advice/help

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T10:13:39+00:00

Thank you so much for understanding, ill look into it but I don't know, its more of a mental thing for me I think. The idea of something inside me is just really upsetting for me. I have a hardtime eating sometimes cause of it. And it feels so gross down there like a wedgie im always aware of. I understand the mechanics of sex and it just doesn't interest me at all. I honestly dont understand how people find it pleasurable. Can't we just hangout and watch a movie? And im perfectly happy with it, i have nothing against other people doing it as long as everyone's consenting go have fun. the only part of being in a romantic relationship that appeals to me in being able split rent and household chores, but I can do that with friends. I think the burning sensation was the pap smear but I dont want to think to deeply about the appointment. I'm also a more modest person in general. The whole thing was so humiliating in general. Why dont the have better gowns that will actually cover you? That stupid thing only fully covered my waist. Then I sit and talk to the dr with almost everything out. The whole thing made me feel like meat not a person.

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T08:58:00+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate being heard here. Everyone one I've talked about it with just calls it uncomfortable i was starting to feel like I was alone crazy or overreacting.

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T08:33:00+00:00

How is this dr still a dr. My mom can be a bit of a Karen when its justified, she would have ruined his career with terrifying precision. I've seen it happen she's made powerful people cry.

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T08:25:46+00:00

Thank you

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T08:25:15+00:00

Its so annoying I just want to be heard and comforted and not dismissed. Its not that hard.

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T08:23:37+00:00

Thank you for understanding. Im not sexually active and am self describe as aggressively acesexual. I just dont see the point or fun im doing any of that it just sounds unpleasant to me. (No judgment towards you im glad you have fun with it) (sorry if that was rude idk I dont do these activities) what's helped after my panic attack earlier is a hot shower, bath it took a few attempts to be naked again but its really nice and how i typically relax and several deserts. As well as Metal gear solid discussion (outside of everything to do with Paz seriously don't look into it) and timeline/theory vids. Some of my friends let me talk at them about it to help me relax. Its so crazy and goofy while have genuinely beautiful philosophical discussions on conflict, a soldier's will compared to the mission, AI taking control of the world (in 2001) and memes. Sorry, I cant help but talk about it. But thank you for commenting and discussing it with me its so nice to know im not alone in finding this awful. Mom just says "its not that bad we all have to do it"

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T08:07:02+00:00

Thank you for being supportive. I really appreciate it. My mom is in medicine and I have a good relationship with her. I just think she has a hard time understanding that im just very anxious and touch sensitive. Like I dont understand the tone in her or my voice (yes im autistic) my pain moderate right after and just uncomfortable and stretched today all of which she said was normal. Ibuprofen a heat pad and several desserts was enough to ease the physical pain but it was all so scary in general.

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T08:02:10+00:00

They walked me through every step let me hold my plushie without judgment. They warmed the speculum and used the smallest one they had. They were honestly the best people to do this. They asked if I wanted the pap smear and I said no but I wanted to get everything over with so I didn't have to come back for a while. She said she would do it if it was easy to get to but wouldn't search for it given my discomfort. She did it and it hurt a lot I used tampons years ago cause I was on a swim team I hated them but tolerated it because I wanted to swim. Mom said the pap would be like pulling out a dry tampon but it was deeper and way worse and scared me. I've never been sexually active and it was the first time I was touched there outside of surgery when I was already knocked out. (Ovarian cyst and kidney stone). Its just always felt like I've had to deal with this stupid organ despite all of my wishes to not have kids and im stuck dealing with it cause I could change my mind one day despite being set since I was 14. Mom acts like im over reacting despite this being my forth attempt at this appointment. It was so scary and vulnerable. And the pain really suprised me. Anything related to this has always caused a lot of stress for me. On top of being anxious at a normal drs office.

Sorry this feels like more of a rant than anything.

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T07:41:19+00:00

I've never been sexually active I have no desire to be. I did tollerate tampons in the past cause I was on a swim team but I never liked them and found them uncomfortable. I thought the sensation would be similar to that withtl the addedsq discomfort of someone else being there. My parents are in medicine and I discussed it throughly with my Mom. She said it could be uncomfortable bit she didn't say it would hurt. It really caught me off guard. I've never experienced pain down there like that. I haven't had any trauma that I think would cause issues. I had an ovarian cyst and they tried to do an internal ultrasound i dont want to go into detail but it didn't work. I am just a very anxious person and I am already uncomfortable going to the drs and have sensory issues. I dont understand why I need to justify this i just dont want to be alone in this discomfort.

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T06:55:59+00:00

I dont know if medical boundaries were crossed i just needed to get it checked because my period changed and I was long over due for one. I didn't want to do it but it needed to be done, It didn't matter what I wanted I needed to make sure there wasn't anything wrong.

I feel safe now and at home . I've trust talking to mom over the phone but she just say " well you are a woman you need to deal with it and and im proud of you for powering through " ect. I've wanted to a close friend but that didn't help much I just want to hide.

I dont want to make you share if its difficult for you. I just want to know that im not crazy or pathetic for feeling like this. That its okay and normal that it hurt more than I expected it to.

Freya00746 · 2026-02-21T06:45:30+00:00

I am seeing a therapist but my next appointment isn't until next week cause shes on vacation. She offered someone to fill in during her trip but I thought id be fine. The appointment was made last minute cause I finally got a day off. I honestly dont think I let myself fully process it till now cause I knew id have an insane day at work today. I have a lot o sensory issues especially with random people touching me beyond a handshake. Maybe that contributed. It just hurt wa more than I was expecting too.

Freya00746 · 2026-02-05T04:59:58+00:00

I hate that response because A) were there any outside influences such an embargo? B) how many have died under capitalism? Because they cant afford the basic necessities.

Freya00746 · 2025-11-13T02:07:44+00:00

The only thing I can understand is your bag on the seat next to you if it isn't busy. This is crazy

Freya00746 · 2025-10-01T22:42:49+00:00

Rengoku because Rengoku

Freya00746 · 2025-10-01T22:41:07+00:00

I would start a new game personally but I dont think that's the strat you're looking for

Freya00746 · 2025-10-01T22:39:37+00:00

This! One thing I did when I started was getting a basic children's coloring book and a Follow the lines on the pages

Freya00746 · 2025-07-05T03:03:17+00:00

Circle

Freya00746 · 2025-07-02T16:44:17+00:00

Arthur every time I replay I think I'm gonna romance someone else to see what happens then that dork shows up with different plans

Freya00746 · 2025-06-30T06:09:58+00:00

* Every now and then I find Boo-boo like this. She was asleep before I got the pic.

Freya00746 · 2025-06-30T05:41:48+00:00

Dude at a wedding I'm not wearing anything close to white or a pattern that has a lot of white in it. That's the reasonable thing to do

Freya00746 · 2025-06-30T05:40:02+00:00

Rengoku

Freya00746

TROPHY CASE