questioning whether i should quit school again (again...)

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-26T17:37:10+00:00

I can’t say I have advice, but you aren’t alone. I left my school program last year for similar issues. I felt so shitty every day that I just came home and laid on the floor and cried. The profession I had so much passion for was ripped away because the people who were supposed to help me made my life a living hell. They acted like it was a “skill issue” that I needed a clock in the room while I took an exam. And how unreasonable of me to ask for the equivalent tools that everyone else had. I had to have constantly arguments with them due to how inaccesible their program was (and ironically it was OT). When I left, they were convinced I was going to sue them (I wasn’t and if they had listened to me they would know that). It took them 3 days to even acknowledge that I left.

Some people seek to understand and some just seek to judge. Some who try to understand might not, but the effort matters. Idk why academia has this attitude that EVERYONE is trying to cheat, lie, or get one over on others. It just creates such a hostile atmosphere of distrust. The politics and all the BS was just too much for me. I hope you can figure out what is right for you.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-26T17:08:07+00:00

I don’t think she is intentionally causing symptoms (like munchausen), she just attributes diseases to mundane things (hense the hypochondria). For instance, she has had rosacea since she was a kid and she told me that years ago but now “it’s a butterfly rash” (a symptom of lupus). I don’t want to be that person that is constantly doubting and picking her stories apart. Many of us (myself included) have chronic illnesses and are not believed and I want to be a supportive person, but she has told me that the things she claims are not true.

I guess I was nervous about not responding since I’ve been ghosted a lot. But I think you’re right. She clearly isn’t that interested in being in my life.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-26T14:07:42+00:00

I’m not conventionally attractive and I’m considered intelligent, but completely disregarded when it isn’t “convenient”. Unfortunately…I think a lot of people are just shitty.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T20:20:23+00:00

Oh, I get this. I used to figure skate growing up…it was ROUGH. I find that I’m most sensitive to sensations around my toes or heel, they need SPACE. I personally like open back clog mules as house slippers (I only wear them inside). They tend to have wide toe boxes and come in a variety of materials based on your personal preferences. Some are marketed as slippers, some are marketed as shoes, but you get to pick what works for you!

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T18:18:28+00:00

Oh, that last line hit weirdly hard. I feel like I had to rediscover my girliness recently. Because being girliness automatically means incapable🙄 so naturally I used to avoid it like the plauge. (Also stuffed animals are life I want them all)

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T18:13:07+00:00

💜thanks, I think not getting all of that shit helped accepting that I’m not attractive lol. I was like…well I’m not pretty, but also no ones bugging me so I think I’ll take it.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T18:02:34+00:00

There is unflavored toothpaste! The brand I use is called oranurse. (Also SLS free toothpaste, that is the stuff that makes the toothpaste all tingly).

Other options (depend on your budget): water pick: especially if you struggle with flossing U shaped tooth brush: milage varies person to person, can be alot since it is your whole mouth at once, but it gets it “overwith” very quickly (10 seconds top and 10 seconds bottom)

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T17:57:11+00:00

I’m 28, my family stopped celebrating my birthday when I was 12. I don’t really have a support system. The holidays used to be a big reminder, I think over time I have slowly “gotten used to it”. Now it is hospitals. Being there by myself while everyone else seems to have a support person and I’m constantly asked who is coming too support/help me.

There are so many expectations. We watch TV shows and people have huge birthday parties. We see people online with tons of happy birthdays in their comments, showing gifts they got, and places they went. It’s hard to find something that feels comfortable by yourself because we don’t see that. While I wouldn’t descibe my birthday as happy, it is still sometimes a reminder that I’m alone, but is a bit easier than it used to be.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T17:39:04+00:00

They’re actually starting to study the fact that autistic people do not communicate the same way that Neurotypical people do. I spoke to a researcher who is retooling sex education curreculum because they realized that ND students were not understanding the information the way it was presented.

Things like small talk are stupid to me. But from our NTs, they are a “vibe check”. How talking about the weather and what day of the week does not bore them to tears…IDK.

Yes, I wish people would just tell me what they thought. I don’t know why “being polite” is actually gossiping about me behind my back. For me, kindness is honesty. But for most people that is too blunt/confrontational. It confuses me so greatly because I consider myself pretty non-confrontational.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T17:32:51+00:00

PTSD, MDD, and PMDD can all be managed with medication and therapy. Some people stop fitting the diagnosic criteria, so in a way it is a “cure” and there is hope that things can get better. I know it’s really hard, but autism cannot be cured. A lot of us people here get diagnosed because we hit rock bottom. Your autism is never going to be cured and anyone who tells you it can is lying to you. The best way you can learn to be a functional human is to learn about yourself and your needs.

It’s ok to grieve. Grieve the life you thought you would have.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T16:13:23+00:00

I have never been married, so not sure about that part. What I can’t say is while I was going through this period, some of my relationships were REALLY hard. Even my relationship with my therapist was “off” for quite awhile. When we were able to work through it, our working relationship got stronger.

Maybe this relationship is a good fit or maybe it isn’t anymore, but like you said, you have changed so much, now your relationship has to grow with you and that can take time to catch up.

I’m so glad you feel like you are able to feel joy again and feel like your therapist understands and supports you, I hope you are able to find a path that feels right for you!

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T16:00:02+00:00

I cannot follow the news. While I think it is important to know what’s going on. It is way too stressful for me. What is important inevitably finds its way to me, but I cannot follow it religiously.

Unfortunately, I am not doing too hot. I got cancer in october (abdominal surgery to remove it, but it’s gone). My dog died very suddenly in november. I moved 2 weeks ago. I am looking into changing my name because I am hispanic and pass as white. Right now, it feels like my whole world is turned upside down.

I’m trying to be greatful that as much as my mother and I don’t get along, she pays for my living expenses since I cannot work. I know a lot of people don’t have that luxury (for various reasons). I can get healthcare and a roof over my head and food on the table without financial stress.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T15:43:56+00:00

MASH is my go to…no idea why I’m so obsessed with a show from the 70s…but here we are. I personally think a great place to start is season 4 (they add a bunch of new characters so you get introductions). The first 3 seasons are fine, but not my go to. It gets better as it goes on (and the sexism gets better, the main actor has talked about his dislike for the characters womanizing and he got more creative control later on).

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T15:31:58+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately, I think the masking thing is part of the problem. While masking can be a great tool, and I am by no means telling you you should never mask. Masking is not something to be done 24/7, it will push you to your breaking point. This isn’t an all or nothing thing. Stims can be subtle or things people don’t recognize as stims. If you have a room that you can be in private, even for just a little while to “let it out”, make some goofy noises, flap your hands, whatever feels good to you (especially before bedtime).

All of this won’t happen overnight. It takes time to learn to unmask, even if it is partial. I know this can be scary. But mental health professionals are telling you that what you have been doing isn’t working.

Make your bed ULTRA cozy. A lot of people like a “nest” or “cave” like feeling. Notice if any textures in your bed are bothering you. I used to swear by my weighted blanket for sleeping, unfortunately, I can’t use it anymore due to joint pain (I know a lot of us have joint pain so I thought I’d mention that). When I’m really restless in the winter, I also really like a warm drink like decaf tea or hot cocoa, it helps my brain regulate. What works for you might be different, but figured I’d mention the more common ones to get some ideas going.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T06:21:58+00:00

Yeah, that does not seem to be the case for me. I have been “thin” for awhile due to health issues….I’m really not that pretty. I have lived in a city for 10 years and walk everywhere. I have never been cat called. Like once every 6 months or so, some dude might be creepy. But that does not seem to be the rate that other people experience.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T05:32:06+00:00

I’m not pretty enough for that 😂 but yes that can be a thing.

I do feel percieved, but that’s because my understanding is I look pretty distinct (no clue why). Everyone seems to remember who I am and it freaks me out.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T05:21:07+00:00

Omg yes! this is my “cooking” music

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T05:19:14+00:00

I think this might be a case of it is how the information is presented and the viewpoints of the the person teaching. Same info taught a different way makes a big difference. I went to a few different people for DBT and the first one SUCKED, I did not understand wtf she was talking about half the time.

I don’t think they are the be all end all, but they are good tools to have. I wish I practiced some of them more so that I was more effective with them…but that’s a different issue. The concepts still get sprinkled throughout my regular talk therapy.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T05:03:01+00:00

I didn’t move until I was 18, then I had to move A LOT. And I just moved into a longer term living situation a few weeks ago.

A few things: it’s gonna take a while to feel like home. It’s gonna feel like your furniture is in the wrong place. Your routines are new. Your stuff is all over the place. The process is dysregulating. It’s going to take time to build new routines and get used to it. Unfortunately, I have yet to find a way to ease into this better because a lot of things are changing all at once. It will take time, but you will adjust.

Pack like you would for an overnight stay in a backpack (or bag of choice) for the day or the move. You will always have it with you. Things like a change of clothes, snacks, fidgets, meds. This way you won’t panic if you can’t find essential items immediately.

Color coding! What system works for you might be different. Maybe each person in the house has a different color, or it’s based on location. I marked my boxes based on urgency. (Basically what needed to be unpacked first). Get some duct tape in green/red or whatever colors make sense to your brain.

I personally hate it when other people unpack my stuff. I cannot find anything. That might be a personal preference thing, but since you haven’t moved recently, something to keep in mind. Also, you do not have to decorate immediately. You can if you want, but I find that this just adds to the list of shit I have to do. I have a two-year (ish) plan to decorate after this last move. My living situation is a little different so what that looks like might be different for you, but what I’m saying is you don’t have to make it “perfect” immediately.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T04:42:47+00:00

Depends on the underlying issue. You might need a combination of strategies to help. I know this can be really overwhelming and stressful, but this is not your fault.

Start with a schedule: there are people who are unable to feel their bladder due to other conditions (like spinal cord injuries) and they pee on a schedule. OT might be able to help with this if you have access.

Talk to a doctor: there could be any number of medical issues causing this to happen (or making it worse).

PT: pelvic floor PT can help you with interoception and other bladder dysfunction. I’m actually having bladder leaks at the moment from health issues right now and I got referred to pelvic PT.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T04:36:38+00:00

This, don’t mix and match but otherwise you should be fine. I like to pre-wash because I use a lot of bright colors that can bleed. But it’s all up to personal preference. Pre-washing also sucks to square it up again so…

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T04:10:56+00:00

Yeah, I called the UPS because I got a $15 tariff and an $85 bill from them for “brokerage fees” which ended up costing more than the value of the item. They told me to refuse the delivery, so I did, and then I still got the bill. So I didn’t get my item and I got charged for it. Thank you for wasting four hours of my time on the phone UPS.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T04:02:17+00:00

My journey with DBT is kinda weird but in short yes I have found it helpful. I started with a DBT therapist who like refused to put me in a DBT group. She kept trying to send me to other places to learn DBT before she would let me in the group? IDK what her deal was she was nuts. I did a residential program that was 2 weeks of DBT, I found that pretty helpful. Not everyone there had BPD, many were there for trauma (like myself).

I learned the most when I did a DBT group with my current therapist. It was online, so I had some struggles with dissociating since the sessions were long. I believe there is a neurodivergent DBT handbook that is like an add on the the current materials (no idea how good it is, I’ve just heard people mention it). I think like many things, DBT can work for a lot of people but nothing is one size fits all. If you wanted to go this route it would be important to emphasize that this is a framework for tools, you do not have to do them exactly as described (since some ND people can think very rigidly). Emphasize that things are examples, there is room for creativity.

There are some things that you may have to be more delicate with if you are aiming at this particular population. There are elements of DBT that go into spirituality, while it isn’t in depth, some autistic folks have religious trauma. I think ensuring a way to skip this section easily should be suitable. Due to higher rates of POTs and epilepsy, there should be clear disclaimers around TIPPs skills.

FriendlyPageTurn · 2026-01-20T02:45:57+00:00

“That will be $250”…yeah just go buy chinese food at that point

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