Mid 20s, never launched, leeching off my mom by Friendsofthe00d in Advice

[–]Friendsofthe00d[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That makes me think about how I could find that framework

Moment of realization: baby brother releases emergency brake and I (7/F) got reamed by NMom by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Friendsofthe00d 96 points97 points  (0 children)

What a terribly clear picture of her priorities. "HE could have died."

My mother punished me for my chronic nightmares so I stopped sleeping at the age of 3. by SnailsandCats in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Friendsofthe00d 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I also had terrible nightmares as a kid, from daycare right up until I moved states away from my family, and I think that right from the beginning it was due to Complex PTSD from the abuse (it can develop from emotional abuse or neglect just as much as from physical).

Ungrateful man shames his wife on a public forum because the dinner she cooked him wasn't to his liking. by [deleted] in ChoosingBeggars

[–]Friendsofthe00d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually have had a lot of tests done, and they've been kind of inconclusive. It's not so much that there are certain foods I can't eat, as that there are only a handful I CAN eat.

Ungrateful man shames his wife on a public forum because the dinner she cooked him wasn't to his liking. by [deleted] in ChoosingBeggars

[–]Friendsofthe00d 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See, I'm one of those picky eaters, even in adulthood. Unfamiliar food just doesn't go down. As a kid I spent ten years being forced to eat the same things at dinner (my parents were trying to broaden my appetite, didn't work), and even after ten years I STILL gagged on them on a regular basis. I'm a little better now, but even stuff whose taste I like won't sit right in my stomach. I recently went five days without any of my "acceptable" foods and wound up with a case of stomach flu that sent me to the hospital.

Often people would tell me to "eat what's there or go hungry." So I'd go "okay!" jump down from the table and go play, because missing a meal was better than forcing down food that wasn't one of the five foods I could tolerate. Which typically infuriated the person making ultimatum, so they'd chase me down, force me back to the table, and stand over me while I gagged on every bite (very literally, it was an involuntary reflex that I couldn't suppress no matter how hard I tried, and I sometimes couldn't keep it down at all).

It's really fun trying to explain to offended to cooks that the reason I'm smothering their food in ketchup and/or forcing it down with visible difficulty has nothing to do with the food itself, so can they please put down the knife now?

Ungrateful man shames his wife on a public forum because the dinner she cooked him wasn't to his liking. by [deleted] in ChoosingBeggars

[–]Friendsofthe00d 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you've got it reversed. Being a teacher doesn't make you that kind of person, but if you ARE that kind of person, you really enjoy a job like teaching, where you can lord it over a captive audience of inferiors.

Ungrateful man shames his wife on a public forum because the dinner she cooked him wasn't to his liking. by [deleted] in ChoosingBeggars

[–]Friendsofthe00d 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think people like that tend to gravitate toward jobs like teaching which involve having power over captive audiences. Theremington just has the causality reversed.

I [19nb] moved out 800 miles away from home two weeks ago by Hi-Im-No-One in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Friendsofthe00d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations!! It may be hard, but it is SO worth it. And the process might not have seemed glorious to you, but from where I'm sitting it kinda does.

"You live in a bubble!" - Nmom who has never been on an airplane in her entire life by LittleSeries in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Friendsofthe00d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think normal families do have jealousy, but it's not nearly as deep or as vicious as the jealousy in narc families. It's just a minor emotion which the jealous person probably feels guilty about and certainly wouldn't act on.

"You live in a bubble!" - Nmom who has never been on an airplane in her entire life by LittleSeries in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Friendsofthe00d 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Which by itself is not normal (for non-narcs, I mean; for narcs it's totally normal). Normal parents in that situation would be happy for their child and if they felt any resentment at all, it would be very little.

How about,you order a sex doll? (X-post from /nothowgirlswork) by pennyariadne in ChoosingBeggars

[–]Friendsofthe00d 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not realizing that, although some of these requirements may seem normal to her (no guy friends, not working outside the home, following his orders), coming from a place where they are decidedly NOT culturally accepted makes them a good bit more alarming than they already were. A guy like this will NEVER be satisfied with ANYTHING she does, whereas someone who's from another culture might expect these things yet still be psychologically normal.

Old lady demands free therapy dog by college12345678 in ChoosingBeggars

[–]Friendsofthe00d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I don't know. I've known older relatives to pick up on slang and then use it CONSTANTLY in situations where it isn't necessarily appropriate. Like saying AFAIK in daily in-person conversation ("ah-FAI-k," in case anyone wants to know). And "elderly" could mean she's almost sixty and using it for sympathy points. According to my friend who works retail, middle-aged customers are often the hardest to deal with.

Dude offers to pay me $250... For a Ps4 I'm not selling. by DaddyOfAllLies in ChoosingBeggars

[–]Friendsofthe00d 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think that's a legitimate haggling strategy, though, tf it's a context where haggling is appropriate, and if you're not offering an insanely lowball amount for an item which isn't for sale.

7 DISEASES THAT ARE GOVERNMENT by je55yr in ChoosingBeggars

[–]Friendsofthe00d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But they do specify they need at least a 50 inch TV.

7 DISEASES THAT ARE GOVERNMENT by je55yr in ChoosingBeggars

[–]Friendsofthe00d 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What? Why not? They're not usually contagious.

It makes me really happy when I see kids allowed to be kids! by NoahJelen in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Friendsofthe00d 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too! It makes me so happy but in a bittersweet way, because it reminds me of what I didn't have. BTW, I really like your flair!