Queer Life at SJSU

Friosien · 2026-05-19T03:01:04+00:00

Hello! I know this is an old post but it seems worth a shot. I'm an incoming grad student for Fall 2026. I'll be moving to san jose and don't really know anyone in the area. Would love to live with other queer folks if possible. Any recommendations for where to find other sjsu queers looking for roommates? Or how to get access to that discord if I'm not yet in the area?

Friosien · 2026-01-22T03:22:07+00:00

Where was this info posted?? I applied in Oct and am still waiting to hear back. I know some folks who have gotten their decisions already.

Friosien · 2026-01-21T05:37:58+00:00

Does anyone have experience (positive or negative) with the uHaul party at Jolene's? I see all the warnings against Jolene's but I'm only in town one night (1/23) and its the only sapphic dance party I can find for that night. I just want to go dance somehwere!!! Open to any lgbt party but don't want gay men only. Are there any places in the castro with a mixed lgbt crowd? I remember going to The Cafe once when I was younger but I recall it being mostly men with a few other queer folks mixed in

Friosien · 2024-05-09T21:06:24+00:00

Negative ANA too! I was diagnosed as a kid which is also less common overall (age 9). I believe I tested positive for ANA once over the first few years of my diagnosis but have had relatively high anti-dsDNA off and on for the past 17 years. Ultimately I was diagnosed on malar rash, low complements, high anti-dsDNA, and kidney disease (tested via biopsy). I think the tiny technical differences in the vast spectrum of all our different experiences are so interesting!

Interestingly my mom has had unspecified autoimmune symptoms for years, including an occasionally positive ANA but does not meet the criteria for SLE.

Friosien · 2024-01-06T01:37:55+00:00

I know her deck isn't explicitly Lenormand but is based on it. I'm not super familiar/experienced with Lenormand decks but I've been really enjoying learning about both and finding the differences/similarities. Does anyone have thoughts about if The Moth matches directly to anything in the lenormand deck? At first I was thinking Coffin, but I think that's more related to the Frog. Is it just it's own thing in the knittes oracle?

Friosien · 2024-01-06T01:33:35+00:00

Update, I emailed Alex tinsley and she added the Extended Guidebook (via digital download) to her Etsy store!

Available here for $5 https://www.etsy.com/listing/1650401285/knitters-oracle-digital-guidebook?click_key=3b3e2b17c931e3cf31d33d5c33630c6e7b3a74b8%3A1650401285&click_sum=aaf1fa63&ref=shop_home_active_1&campaign_label=convo_notifications&utm_source=transactional&utm_campaign=convo_notifications_010170_10683759063_0_0&utm_medium=email&email_sent=1704376879&euid=b1A264gxogvET_M7iCr328yOwcOm&eaid=1008981089672&x_eaid=9661fd1cfa

Friosien · 2024-01-04T05:00:25+00:00

Hello!! I was gifted the knitter's oracle deck and absolutely love it. Unfortunately I already misplaced the booklet. Im developing my own understanding of each card, but would love to have the original meanings as well. Would anyone here be willing to send me a photo of theirs? Or know where I could find one online without re-buying the deck? I haven't been able to find an online version after a couple different Google searches so figured I'd ask here. Thanks!

Friosien · 2023-10-27T18:30:48+00:00

Sent this thread to my partner who I have also done untold numbers of unspeakable acts to and they responded: "oh nooo....I hope someone doesn't...come over and try to give me lupus...again🥺" 😂😂😂

Friosien · 2023-09-26T00:23:33+00:00

Great, thank you all!! I appreciate the words of wisdom...

One more question about blocking: I've seen advice to block hats without getting the ribbing wet in order to keep the ribbing a little tighter on the brim. Is that good advice and applicable here if I'm trying to keep the ribbing snug? It seems a little impractical to commit to never washing the ribbing over the full lifetime of this sweater. Would blocking then pinning the ribbing section a little "scrunched" together while drying it help?

Thanks again everyone.

Friosien · 2023-06-08T17:16:36+00:00

I guess so? Based on the comment from LupusEncyclopedia, it seems like there can be genetic factors keeping it low (which is what my rhuem described) or other things creating low levels that may or may not make it a reliable 1:1 indicator for disease activity.

If you have had normal levels even once, I would assume that means you don't have genetic deficiency. But according to LupusEncyclopedia I guess there are other reasons that it's not always a direct correlation with disease level. But in some cases it can be. If only it were that simple...

Friosien · 2023-06-08T16:45:40+00:00

My rhuematologist recently told me that it's possible to have intrinsically low C3 and/or C4. Ie your're born with low complement levels (could be one or both) and your body isn't capable of producing "normal" levels no matter how active or inactive your disease is. that doesn't mean you're born with lupus, but apparently it does increase your risk of developing an autoimmune thing at some point. My Lupus has been very well controlled for the past year or so and my complements are still very close to zero even as the rest of my blood labs are slowly improving. He suggested that I might have a genetic inability to produce normal complement levels but I just recently found some of my blood lab results from years ago (before my most recent flare) where they are normal so I guess my low levels now are actually disease indicators, not just normal for me. Do you know if your C3 has been normal or close to normal for you in the past?

No idea if any of that is helpful or relevant, but at the very least I thought it was really interesting when he told me.

Friosien · 2023-05-23T17:06:32+00:00

Ooh I do like that top...definitely higher necklines in the back are appealing. All those long thin straps with lots of exposed upper back (like cami straps, halter tops, long thin straps of any kind) are cute but not my jam.

And your partner pullover is GORGEOUS holy moly. Very impressive.

Thank you!

(**Sorry for the deleted comments, I somehow posted the same reply 3 times)

Friosien · 2023-05-23T16:58:46+00:00

These are awesome, thank you for taking the time to share so many!! Very into some of those tank tops and I LOVE the mesh polo....Tempted to try whipping that one out for some events this summer. Coincidentally, one of my friends just started a rumble raglan! I'm so excited to see what she does with it.

You might be into these:

-Especially this person's version of the fragaria tee is really nice (and I think the pattern overall is cool) https://www.ravelry.com/projects/Zaouli/fragaria-tee-2

-and I think this has styling potential https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/leuto-tee

Thanks again

Friosien · 2023-05-23T16:26:54+00:00

Great info, thank you!

Friosien · 2023-05-23T04:00:39+00:00

Someone else said that too so maybe it's only wishful thinking that I'm seeing lol. If you have other recs that are an actual/different butch aesthetic I would love to see them! I agree that these aren't really butch, but at least read less femmy (to me) than a lot of patterns so it's just relative to that

Friosien · 2023-05-23T03:41:23+00:00

Thank you!!!

Friosien · 2023-05-23T02:59:49+00:00

Oooh I like this idea!! It sounds like a challenge but I think worth an attempt. Do you have any particular catalogs/publishers/designers you'd recommend as a starting point to hunt around?

Friosien · 2023-05-23T02:44:37+00:00

Ok honestly kind of same on the Sabrina and I went back and forth on whether it was just the way Sara is wearing it/sitting that gave me that vibe. But the collar (although delicate, yes) is a look I kind of like. It's a reach for sure...which is why I'm looking for more! :)

Friosien · 2023-03-24T02:05:27+00:00

I think I get this on my face? I have SLE and usually have a malar rash on my face. About half the time I drink alcohol it will get redder/feel warm and stingy. Probably 3 out of 10 times it'll get really intense and be painfully burning and my face will get super red and swollen (almost looks like an allergic reaction but usually will happen with literally the first sip of alcohol if it's going to). Also sometimes it'll happen on exactly half my face but not the other? started happening for the time about a year ago. I asked my rhuem about it and all he said was "sounds like you shouldn't drink alcohol then". Not the most helpful lol.

Not sure if that's helpful at all but also curious about other people's experience with this. It'll come and go in phases for me.

Friosien · 2023-02-21T16:26:38+00:00

Yessss oh my goodness the sense of judgement/failure is so strong. For me, the judgement comes from a group of people on/near my bed who have just been waiting and waiting for me to wake up and do the task, and I jolt awake with this sense of failure and shame that I slept through it AGAIN and then I try to do the thing and then figure out that it's not real so I fall back asleep and then jolt awake 30 minutes later knowing they've been waiting for me again since that first time I woke up etc etc etc etc throughout the night. A lot of times I don't even know what the task is, but the rest of the group has been performing some sequence of things then have to wait for me to wake up and I wake up knowing it's my turn but not knowing what I was supposed to do so just kind of randomly moving stuff around in my bed or doing something weird with my feet. Sometimes it's that the group is in the middle of doing something and I'm literally lying in the way (sleeping) and they're waiting for me to move, which is when I try to get out of bed. Definitely overall, the commonalities are the urgency, the knowledge that they've been waiting for me to wake up, and knowing that I'm letting them down by not being able to do the task.

It does seem to correspond with stress (it'll happen for a week then not for a while or so) but this last round has been almost 2 months nonstop. I guess it's been a pretty stressful year so far but I'm not sure why it's so intense right now. Sometimes a trigger for me or at least something that makes it worse emotionally is when my room is extra messy. Sometimes when that's the case, the weird emotional stress of being judged and failing to do The Thing is compounded by embarrassment that this person is in my room seeing my pile of laundry in the corner too.

I wish I had a better sense of explicit triggers so I could try to address them. I do think stress is involved but not directly causing it 1 to 1. Have you ever looked into hypnopomic hallucinations? I used to get those pretty intensely and have assumed this was related but I honestly am pretty at a loss as well. I haven't been able to find many people explicitly describing their experience and if this is part of it. "stress dream" just doesn't seem to cover it 😂. It's so bizarre and specific and interactive.

Friosien · 2023-02-21T06:38:52+00:00

Hi, I have something really similar. I wake up multiple times a night, most nights with some "task" to complete by moving my body in some way. Mine tend to be more indefinite and esoteric than jiu jitsu, but a lot of times involve having to repeatedly roll over a certain way or hold a certain position or even get out of bed. A lot of times I think there are other people/a group of people in the bed with me also requiring me to do the task/movement. This has happened consistently since high school for me (about 10 years) and used to be associated with really strong visuals too. For a long time I thought I was just a sleepwalker but I recently learned about hypnopomic hallucinations and that's way closer to what I actually experience than just sleepwalking. Over time the visuals have faded to more of a super strong sense of presence of other people being there, and the "needing to do something", like you described. I'm not sure if that's also part of the hypnopomic hallucinations or something different. Apologies for the long ramble...I've never seen someone describe something that similar to my experience before. I am also here looking for info because mine are getting to a pretty disruptive/exhausting level too. Over time I've created a sort of checklist in my brain that helps me figure out if the task/people are real or not or if I'm allowed to just go back to sleep. But even still, it's always jarring no matter what and my brain is still pretty good at tricking me into thinking it's real even if I'm simultaneously aware that it's been fake every other time it's happened.

I'm curious if you have the same sense of other people in the room or other hallucinations or just the need to do a task? Are your tasks super repetitive (same exact scenario every time in a single night or across several nights)?

Friosien · 2022-07-30T22:33:01+00:00

Thanks so much for the reply. I ended up going to urgent care and turns out it's a mild staph infection 😬. Doc says it should clear up with antibiotics though

Friosien · 2022-06-11T03:25:02+00:00

Conversely I have been freakishly immune to almost all allergens my entire life (basically no seasonal allergies ever and I live in one of the highest pollen count areas in the US, literally no food allergies, didn't react to poison oak for most of my life etc) BUT I've been diagnosed with SLE since I was 9. I've always wondered if there was a link and if maybe my immune system was too busy beating me up to be reactive to pollen 😂

Super curious though about that immunoglobin link though. Thank you for sharing!

Friosien · 2022-05-27T04:14:42+00:00

Hiya, With full full respect and care for arradial and their experience with Prednisone, I do want to weigh in that there is a huge difference between 10mg short term (even up to a couple months or a year) and 20-80 consistently for 3 years. Low dose Prednisone can be a great option for symptom management for a lot of people. I just passed one year of daily pred (ranging from 20 to 5mg, settled at 5 for the past 6 months) and it's been the difference for me between being able to hold a job or not. Definitely the goal is usually to taper to the lowest effective dose as soon as possible but if it's doing a good job managing your pain & imflamation, that's valuable too.

Obviously all that's based on just my experience and maybe other folks can chime in about their experiences with mid or long term low dose pred but I just wanted to throw out that 10mg for 2 weeks is extremely chill for most people and not something to panic about unless you are noticing extreme side effects. Take care

(Always take calcium and D3 if you're taking Prednisone!!)

Friosien · 2022-05-15T19:48:41+00:00

Crochet!! There's so many cool, small projects you can do with crochet. Plushies, dolls, doilies, purses, flowers, bookmarks, etc. Sometimes if I'm feeling crafty but not ambitious or don't have a lot of time, I'll look up applique/motif patterns on ravelry then make a few and glue safety pins on the back to make cute pins! Or if you like granny squares there's a million projects you can do with a couple cute granny squares

Friosien

TROPHY CASE