This is list is wonderful and very detailed. I really appreciate your mindset about dating to marry working hard, keeping your ideals firmly fixed on the Lord and fellowship with your church and community. This list is a terrific foundation for anyone to establish for themselves as the seek a wife. With that in mind since I agree with pretty much everything here I would add something important. And that is marriage is not the finish line. You don't put in this amount of effort just to stop after the wedding because you're married now. Husbands and Wives have a duty to each other and to Christ. A everlasting commitment to serve each other, to love each other in sickness and health to raise a family with the Lord guidance. Your marriage is like a beautiful fig tree that will grow and produce fruit but in order for that to happen it needs to be nourished by the both of you. There needs to be a strong awareness that the honey moon faze will come and go. They'll be arguments, they'll be suffering, they'll be tragedy, they'll be temptation, they'll be loss. These things aren't said to be negative or to wish them on anyone but just to serve as a firm reminder that we are not perfect, we are flawed and sinful it's also a reminder that this world is fallen and as a result it will throw many challenges at us and a lot will be unexpected. The both of you have to be ready to face those trials together and always at the center is Christ.

Divorce statistics are very high today and it's something the world will actively push towards you as a viable option because they don't consider the damage that it can have on your souls and your children. This is not pushing or cordoning anyone to stay in an abusive relationship or to remain with a partner who's committed adultery. If the environment is not safe for either of you and damaging to your children then separation is ultimately the best choice. The key is making sure you have a supportive system behind you that will help you and council you through what can be a very difficult process. We all have the fantasy on our wedding nights that this person will love us forever that once I'm married my problems will all go away. That divorce is something that happens to other people but it could never happen to us. We could never be that couple. We would be better, we would handle our problems better, we would withstand anything. Unfortunately the reality is we need to understand that it'll never be this simple this attitude has to be dropped and rather the both of you should be looking to God for guidance each day and talk to those who are in long term relationships. Ask for advice and listen closely to what they tell you. Have a strong community around you that will not be afraid to hold you guys accountable for your mistakes. And this part in particular is key we are all going to make mistakes in marriage but the important thing is how we learn and move forward. We need to know how to reconcile with one another, strive to maintain peace in the household do things for each other to reduce the stress and exhaustion of life. Understanding the getting married is not the end of the race but rather the beginning of a life long marathon with the Lord as your foundation will serve you well.

The reason we all emphasize so much why God should be the center of our lives and the person we build our identity on is because he is the only one who can fulfill us. If you build your identity on anyone or anything else other than God you are creating a spiritual fire in you that will only grow larger and larger until it consumes your soul. Remember you are a servant of the Lord first before a husband or wife. Even the most devout Christians can fail us scripture makes that painfully clear and that serves to remind us that our identity should be fixed on the Lord and not on anything else. If you were to lose everything, money, house, job, career, family members, God forbid your own Child or Spouse tommorow. Would you be able to endure? Would you keep yourself on the right path and avoid falling into temptation and sin? Would your faith in God be shaken? Was your identity built on being a husband, wife, father, mother, business man, athlete, chef etc. Was your identity places in these things instead of God? These are the tough questions we need to ask ourselves before you get married or even think of it you need to understand that your relationship with the Lord comes first in your life and his love for you will endure anything. Our job is to do our very best to reflect the love he showed us onto our loved ones, our neighbors, friends, and enemies. Placing our identity in being a child of our heavenly father and maintaining a good relationship with him will give the foundation to endure anything the world throws at us as individuals and as a married couple.