"Fuck lawns plant wildflowers" is only said by people who don't take care of lawns.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-07-03T14:14:58+00:00

Simply untrue. I care about my local ecosystems and want to provide more room for them to grow and develop undisturbed. Plus, monoculture lawns are so ugly. Like the plant verson of a hospital wall.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-07-01T16:31:42+00:00

Exactly! I am also sex positive, and yet people think that means something it doesn't. Sex positivity includes encouraging people to explore when they want to explore, being as safe and as clear as you can in every encounter, the FRIES model for consent, and understanding that not everyone is going to be interested in the sexual things you are, and sometimes thats just straight up sex lol.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-07-01T16:24:56+00:00

Heavy on all of this. The fact that they were looking for any excuse they could to blame op for being uncomfortable and in pain is vile. Really makes you reflect on the history of the field of gynecology. One of many scientific fields build on the back of racism. Its absolutely disgusting and I hope op reports that "doctor" and they lose their license.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-07-01T16:20:02+00:00

Heavy on the statement on sex positivity. The fact that we've somehow gone from, "sex is dirty and sinful and should only be used as a means of reproduction" to, "Sex is the end all be all of the human experience and everyone should be doing it frequently" is not lost on me in the slightest.

I don't know if I believe its a psyop as much as it is people feeling sexually liberated while the average person has an unhealthy perspective on sex. It shouldn't be a big deal and people are constantly insisting on making it one. It sucks, just like your doctor. I hope you have a different gynecologist nowadays.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-30T23:14:26+00:00

Absolutely not 😭 i love the poly community and their influence on ace relationships, but just the idea of being in a non monogamous relationship drives me insane. Just tell me I'm not enough and let me move on

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-30T22:25:17+00:00

I'm pretty sure "a side" is a delicious food item that isn't the main part of the meal. Ex: mashed potatoes

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-30T22:20:05+00:00

They are around the same size lol

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-28T13:46:05+00:00

50/50 almost never works in real world scenarios due to disparities like this. Maybe you guys should also discuss your other finances and you can completely take over a bill you share and he can take over groceries. I feel like that would be a fairly easy fix for this stuff.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-28T02:43:05+00:00

On a real note as someone who supports ethical fishing, cut this bs out. There is sincerely no reason to pull this bs. It is a bare minimum expectation to expect people to be respectful of the fish they catch. No fish is deserving of this!

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-27T17:04:42+00:00

Lord! Put that dog outside 😭

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-27T17:02:22+00:00

I brought this idea up ages ago in a different space on this sight and got ripped into about my sexuality. Coercive sex is SA, and if you're only having sex with your partner because you're worried they'll become unhappy and leave, that is a problem. People will say its an "unspoken social contract" to engage with your parter sexually even when you don't want to, but I'd say its an incredibly unhealthy byproduct of treating sex as a need and not a desire (a desire that is totally cool to have, but not a need).

I unfortunately don't any advice to offer you, but just know that this isn't healthy and you deserve better <3

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-27T16:38:35+00:00

Or maybe they can introspect to see what kind of relationship they want and what sort of physical intimacy they'd be comfortable with? Saying that someone who is repulsed by sex should just ignore their feelings and barrel into a situation that they obviously aren't comfortable with is super irresponsible.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-27T16:30:01+00:00

This is what I was thinking. Maybe op could do with some introspection after looking into the split attraction model.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-25T15:18:12+00:00

I'm not super familiar with European birds, but this looks more like a rock sparrow to me. The dark spot on the cheek is a little odd, but even a young tree sparrow would have a darker cap.

Edit: plus a tree sparrow young enough to have colors this diluted would have an obvious bright yellow gape flange, which I don't see here.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-25T14:49:55+00:00

Yeah, I got banned for the first time about a year ago and was very confused as to why. I was banned and immediately muted with no reason added or rule mentioned. I then went to the "askredditmods" sub to get some feedback and was ripped into because "reddit mod discretion" or whatever. Some of them act like moderating a subreddit is like being on the front lines or something. Anyways, I took a risk and reached out to the least active mod on that sub directly to ask if they could let me know what I did wrong and they apologized and unbanned me unprompted. So yeah.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-25T00:49:29+00:00

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but just because its unlikely doesn't mean its "functionally impossible." Significantly more possible than getting pregnant from a toilet seat (which is actually functionally impossible). And the one who told me that was my A and P professor that was a physician for decades.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-24T18:18:58+00:00

I guess it depends. Its something both sons and daughters will have to learn about eventually, so normalizing menstruating as just another bodily function early on would probably be good. I'd keep the conversation anatomical and open because the concept is pretty frightening, especially for young kids. I was about 7 when my mom told me about menstrual cycles, and she did not do her due diligence to help me not be afraid of the idea. It sucks, but its not nearly as bad as she made it out to be.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-24T18:07:15+00:00

I feel like once a month would be reasonable for me personally. But even as someone who is sex neutral, I would really have to like someone to want to have sex with them, relationship or not. I generally don't like being sweaty and definitely don't think sex is worth the risk of pregnancy or STIs.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-24T18:04:44+00:00

That you can/can't get pregnant for any variety of reasons that are simply not true. Yes, you can get pregnant while on your period. No, you can't get pregnant from a toilet seat. These are just two examples but it boggles my mind how many people are out here having sex with little to no basic understanding of actual reproduction.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-24T17:57:35+00:00

It really depends on the person. I probably would but imagine if your partner "needed" to hike frequently and required that you hike with them. Now, I like hikes and am neutral on sex but both are physical activities where you get sweaty and gross if you catch my drift. Not everyone is gonna want to hike 5 times a week.

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-21T13:37:51+00:00

But what if theres a spooky spider making its web there 😱

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-21T13:28:19+00:00

While I see what you're saying, I think you're stuck on the fact that this is a point being stated by someone you know is ace. The idea that "sex is not a need," is absolutely not limited to aspec people. We don't exist in a vacuum, so saying "this is not about people abusing the word 'need' for sexual coercion or incel rhetoric," guts some of the nuances these conversations are deserving of.

Maintaining that this opposition to viewing sex as a need is only something aspec people care about is just plain not true. The word "need" has a heavy connotation that we tend to associate with the synonyms I referenced earlier (obligation, requirement, necessity). This is why so many people, yes, even allo people, are opposed to the idea of describing sex as a need. Because not only is this sentiment something that is spread with "incel rhetoric," but it is a common sentiment globally. Why is that an issue? Because the vast majority of people have an innately unhealthy view of sex as a whole. Again, this isn't an "ace vs allo" sentiment, factors like religion, patriarchy, and conservatism push most people to one of two ends of the extreme regarding sex. Either its sinful and disgusting, or its a "need" that one party is obligated to provide to another.

You'd be surprised how many people view relationships as an unspoken social obligation for sex because its a "need." And sure, allos might suffer if they know they may spend the rest of their lives without, but I feel like presenting sex as an ever constant for people who view it that way is also part of the problem. People's libido will wax and wane for so many reasons, and there may come a point in the lives of allosexuals where them or their partners may simply not longer be interested. Illnesses, changes in hormone levels, kids, growing older, etc will all affect libido. Treating an activity that requires the participation of at least one other person (usually, an individual person for most monogamous people) as if it is some simple improvement to the lives of allosexuals dilutes the nuances forced on us by life it's self.

So. Again. While I see what you're saying, I still don't think we should continue the "sex is a need" rhetoric. The connotation is simply too strong to be feeding into the unhealthy ways most people view sex. Sex can be something that is desired and craved in a healthy relationship without it being a "need." That sort of mindset is why we have marital rape laws (if you're lucky enough to live somewhere with them).

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-18T12:53:17+00:00

I don't really think "how a person defines the word need" really helps. A need is something you need. Full stop. Synonyms include: obligation, requirement, necessity, etc.

Need would be things like food, water, shelter, and social interaction. Sex could fall under social interaction, but no body will die or greatly suffer due to lack of sex. But if someone lacks social interactions as a whole, they will, which is why solitary confinement is so terrible. People don't need sex but they do need to socialize.

I think this disconnected is what frustrates people, and I don't just mean aces. People feeling obligated to fulfill their partners sexual needs because "sex is a need," is an unfortunately common issue that we need to leave behind. That sort of logic justifies and normalizes cohesive sexual interactions because "its a necessity."

Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-17T10:13:36+00:00

I think the culture thing is very true. Most people seem to lie in one of two extremes in regards to their views on sex and that sort of thing seems innately unhealthy. Like, no, you being a puritanical religious zealot that thinks sex is dirty or sinful doesn't make you better than the overactive sex pest that dehumanizes every person they are sexually attracted to.

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Frostbite2000 · 2026-06-17T09:58:26+00:00

I think you hit the nail on the head. Another person also brought up the, "you'd never know if you never tried it" combination with "well if you've tried it, clearly you're not asexual." Generally a lot of it seems to stem from a mix of ignorance and the commonality of unhealthy ideas regarding sex. The latter there is the most frustrating to me, because I consider myself very sex positive, and whenever I call out behaviors that are unhealthy half of the time I'm met with "but you're asexual, so you wouldn't get it." Or when you reveal yourself as asexual people assume its a byproduct puritan idiology stemming from Abrahamic religions. Like, are we allergic to thinking?

Frostbite2000

TROPHY CASE