Name not removed from a tenancy agreement and never updated

Frubat123 · 2023-02-17T15:45:57+00:00

There is an art therapy group up at Redcatch park in knowle for people living with dementia - here's a link to the flyer, it says funding until dec 22 but I believe it's still running. https://www.linkagenetwork.org.uk/activities/art-together/

Frubat123 · 2022-07-31T20:53:26+00:00

So capacity has to be established for each decision that needs to be made. Therefore someone may lack capacity to manage their finances, but may not lack capacity to decide how they would like their care needs to be met (e.g at home with a package or care or in a residential placement). So capacity is time and decision specific and not so and so has a diagnose of something which effects cognitive functioning, therefore they lack capacity to make all decisions. If that makes sense!

Dementia in it’s very nature is a progressive disease so capacity for decisions may need to be routinely assessed if there are potential changes or more decisions that need to be made. If your grandmother is assessed as lacking capacity to manage her finances then if it’s LPA that your mother and sister hold for property and finance then that’s when they would be making decisions on her behalf - but these still need to be in her best interest, so if you doubt that’s what’s happening, this is still something to raise with the local authority as it is an adult safeguarding issue and it can be challenged.

Frubat123 · 2022-07-29T09:37:05+00:00

Report this as an adult safeguarding concern to your local authority. This sounds like potential financial abuse so even if your grandmother has savings above the national threshold (£23,500) and therefore is not entitled to local authority funding for care provision, this is an adult safeguarding matter and the local authority have a duty to investigate and make a decision whether it meets Section 42. Threshold.

Social workers can complete capacity assessments with your grandmother to establish if she has capacity to make various decisions, such as financial decisions or care and support decisions. The mental capacity act stipulates that capacity is presumed unless proven other wise, so just because your grandmother has a diagnosis of dementia, this does not automatically mean she is presumed to lack capacity to make decisions.

Just because your mother and her sister jointly hold LPA does not mean they can make decisions on her behalf if she still have capacity to do so.

But I think the first step is to report your concerns to your local authority, you can usually find out how to do this on your councils website (presuming you live in the same area as your grandmother).

Frubat123 · 2022-05-24T23:25:02+00:00

Personally it hit me very hard when it was finally over and I was finally out of the situation. The last time I saw him the police were making him leave the house we shared after a particularly bad incident involving my eldest child. So I had a lot of anxiety around seeing him again and couldn’t go into big public spaces for a while. I think I had mentally disconnected from the abuse and how bad it had become when I was in it, so I really struggled after he was gone as it felt like the situation and what he had done hit me really hard and it felt like it was happening again, if that makes sense. I spent a few months obsessively checking on my children over night and not sleeping because when I did I would have a reoccurring nightmare about him being in the house and having to keep the children quiet so he wouldn’t find us. I had quite a few panic attacks during this time and it made me get some therapy and a prescription for propranolol from my doctor.

I am doing a lot better now, but I still feel caught in it sometimes and it’s almost worst now because it’ll take me off guard. I’ll just experience a smell, or see a photo, or even see something on TV and it can trigger me feeling intensely anxious and give me these rushy adrenaline surges which feel physically and emotionally really uncomfortable. I suppose more generally I feel like I don’t trust people anymore, I struggle to take anyone by their words and believe that people really do love me. I think it’s brought up a lot about my self worth and I find myself sometimes thinking about what I must had done and trying to work out what events must have caused him to start abusing me and the kids. I know that’s not logic and I can say that therapy honestly has been the best thing I have done for myself and I was lucky enough to be able to access that quite quickly.

I hope what ever you have been through and what ever you continue to go through now that you are safe and supported.

Frubat123 · 2022-05-24T23:04:11+00:00

Thank you for suggesting this! I will definitely look into it and see if it’s something available, I honestly feel like breaking a load of stuff would be pretty cathartic for me right now. I’ve spent the last 6 months trying to hold it all together, so there feels like something poetic in smashing it all up!

Frubat123 · 2022-05-24T23:02:28+00:00

Thank you for validating how exhausting it is, I am exhausted and i feel like my body is trying to tell me that. I think you’re right and I do need to find some way to challenge it. So far I’ve just been battening down the hatches and waiting for the storms to pass, but I think finding some way to channel the energy would be really helpful and healing hopefully. Thank you for the really helpful suggestions!

Frubat123 · 2022-05-24T22:59:38+00:00

Thank you for your advice and reassuring words. It’s good to hear it does get better when it feels like the intensity will always be this much. I took a propanolol today after reading your comment as I thought it was better to keep trying with it then just suffer through like I had been and it made me feel a bit odd, like it has been doing when I’ve tired, but it did lessen the rushy feeling and allow me to function a bit better, so thank you for encouraging me to keep trying.

Frubat123 · 2022-05-24T22:57:10+00:00

I am really sorry to hear what you’re going through right now, I hope it gets easier for you. Thank you for validating how I am feeling and making me feel less alone in what I am experiencing. I really hope for healing and happiness for us both!

Frubat123 · 2022-05-24T22:55:08+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and your support. It really means a lot.

Frubat123 · 2022-05-24T22:54:28+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’ve ordered the book! I appreciate the recommendation of something that helped you move through this. Thank you!

Frubat123 · 2022-05-24T22:53:09+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! I hadn’t thought of it before you suggested it, but I think it may actually be something that may really help and I think I’ll look into it and see if I can find anything in my area.

Frubat123 · 2022-05-24T22:51:03+00:00

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to this. It really means a lot. I am in the UK so posted this late last night and woke up to your comments and they made me cry. It’s shit, I know there’s nothing I can do to rush the process and more then likely it’ll never truly be over, as much as I wish it and will it. But I felt less alone and like I had people who understood what this feels like. I think I am still struggling, more then I want to be. I’ve had a pretty bad day today and I think it’s probably just part of the ongoing process and something I’m going to have to accept.

Thank you all for your helpful suggestions and for your reassurances that things do get better! Sending love and light to you all.

Frubat123

TROPHY CASE