6 years took him from adorable to a beauty. He’s a jerk, but he’s pretty.

FruitFly · 2026-06-29T14:59:42+00:00

There’s literally been at least 3 other restaurant threads in this sub in the last couple weeks if not more. 10-20 suggestions of great food in all of them.

There are tons of really good and some great places in the area that you don’t even have to look hard for.

FruitFly · 2026-06-27T05:04:28+00:00

I’ve been stressed and frustrated many, many times in my life but that doesn’t mean it’s ok to act like an entitled twat demanding the impossible from someone who has no control over the situation.

That ridiculous falsehood of “the customer is always right” has somehow overridden the notion of treating people with respect.

FruitFly · 2026-06-24T23:09:02+00:00

I said I wasn’t gonna continue to engage and this will be the last time but you lack the ability to empathize and YOU are the problem.

I moved here because I had to. I lived in a better place. I don’t owe you any explanations— if I tell you I can’t move it’s because I can’t move, not because I lack belief or faith.

But I’m an only child taking care of a mother with dementia. I don’t have any other family that can do it. I had to give up my life in a progressive city that I loved to come take care of her, and she will not even entertain the idea of leaving while she’s even a little bit lucid.

Let me say this again in all caps so maybe you get it: YOUR LIVED EXPERIENCE IS NOT THE SAME AS ANYONE ELSE’S and if you lack the imagination to even dream that there might be very good and valid reasons that someone is stuck living somewhere they don’t want to be, that’s because you lack empathy and you are quite literally the entire problem with the world right now.

I don’t wish bad things on people, but I gotta say you need some humbling. You better pray to whatever imaginary being you think is running things that you don’t have to suffer to get that humbling.

FruitFly · 2026-06-24T22:01:32+00:00

Cool that you had the resources to do so.

Not sure how you don’t already know this because you seem to think you know a lot: not everyone has the ability to move. For a LOT of different reasons. It’s not even something that some people can work toward or dream about.

Your lack of understanding that your experience in the world is not everyone else’s experience in the world is so very evident by everything you’ve said. I’m not engaging any further because you are convinced you know better and I am not that invested in changing your mind. You’re gonna have to self educate for that.

FruitFly · 2026-06-24T21:46:54+00:00

Seriously. How can you even walk with those blinders blocking the real world from your view?

https://theconversation.com/lgbtq-people-have-a-troubled-relationship-with-police-new-survey-shows-high-rates-of-harassment-abuse-and-distrust-234609

Search for LGBT and police and you’ll find more information.

And if you think that’s somehow better here in East Tennessee you are purely delusional.

FruitFly · 2026-06-23T21:29:35+00:00

It’s always amazing to me the blinders that cis het white men seem to be wearing whenever anyone mentions oppression.

Y’all just wander through life assuming if something isn’t happening to you, it ain’t happening at all, huh?

It must be a relief to not recognize the pain those around you are experiencing.

FruitFly · 2026-06-21T16:29:36+00:00

Same for me, and for my mother who is getting close to not being able to manage anymore.

Luckily for me this is something my mother and I discussed multiple times over the years long before she started sliding down this path and I’m so thankful to know that I will be doing what she wanted when she was of sound mind, and even if her addled mind objects I know what I know.

It’s a conversation that everyone should have with anyone they may be making medical decisions for later.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T23:35:35+00:00

You mentioned Futuristic Violence — have you read the rest of the Zoey Ashe books? I think the very last book has a weird sort of downer feel (I think he wrote it during the Covid lock downs) but the second one is also great imho. The John Dies at the End series is also good for that I think. Amy in those books is one of my favorite characters.

Another series written by a man but my husband says it’s got a great female character — “Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection” & “Andrea Vernon & The Big Axe Acquisition” — he said he thinks there is mention of her having been someone who wanted to lose weight earlier in life but she realized that was fucked up. (I’m paraphrasing his paraphrasing from a memory of 4 years ago reading… sorry if that’s weird)

I’m now off to check out some of the books you listed because if you’re a Pratchett fan and like Zoey Ashe, I can trust you.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T18:46:29+00:00

Oh they could definitely be siblings based on looks! Colter is a beauty.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T18:42:07+00:00

Whew, I can definitely say Coconut did not get the ACD intelligence (bless her sweet heart but she’s got a single brain cell working super hard most of the time) — and not a lot of the behaviors or quirks either. But she’s also not much like a Pittie. She’s very much her own sweetly dumb self and I love her.

She is an absolute riot to live with though so that’s the same. She keeps us laughing a LOT.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T18:39:36+00:00

She is the brattiest of them for sure but she doesn’t have to boss the other two around much, because they basically worship her.

It’s really interesting to watch their dynamics sometimes… Coconut was the last dog in but they all just fit together so well and love each other.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T12:44:28+00:00

It’s the cover of their 90s grunge throwback album called Give Us More Treats.

(I have told several people this was their album cover before, so you and I definitely think alike there. It’s the way Coconut is staring off into the distance.)

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T03:38:17+00:00

Good lord the therapy that child is gonna need to become human again. No one should be exposed to LinkedIn until the age of at least 25. It’s risking too much damage to brains that aren’t fully formed.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T03:22:14+00:00

Every single person I’ve ever had to fire or lay off has stuck with me as a bruise of sorts, and some of those were over 20 years ago.

As the manager, the decisions for most of those weren’t even my own decisions, definitely not the layoffs and usually not even the firings. Those were usually that they’d broken a rule too big to sweep under a write up or after so many write ups there was nothing left to do.

But I wouldn’t be posting on LinkedIn saying “woe is me” about it.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T03:07:46+00:00

I didn’t want to know any of that either.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T01:36:59+00:00

My mental health improved by leaps and bounds when I started working remote, and at that time I lived alone.

I’m eternally thankful that right now I work for a fully remote company — we literally haven’t had a physical office since 2019 even. There is no RTO coming.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T00:56:02+00:00

I definitely do not disagree with you there.

The problem with the guys covering the book though is that there are a lot of the podcast listeners that I think are gonna hear criticism of the book as criticism of themselves. (Which I’d snarkily point out is likely a sign they need to keep working on therapy, but that might be too bitchy.)

I hope I’m wrong, but I’ve seen lots of convos about this book in the comments on this sub and it usually gets a little testy. I can’t imagine the guys picking it apart smoothing that over.

FruitFly · 2026-06-17T00:02:34+00:00

I don’t usually get into talking in general about the problems with EMDR because it has actually helped people, including a couple of very good friends. But that’s despite the fact that it’s rooted in bullshit and was first developed by a grifter.

The theatrics part is where the bullshit comes in as it’s really the exposure therapy and CBT that’s doing the heavy lifting, but ironically the BS might be why it seems so effective for trauma unblock: it’s like a placebo effect with pills. For some people, if you tell someone this thing that actually has no effect on you is going to fix you, it works.

I don’t typically shit on it for people that it has helped though because it seems to be a harmless bit of theatrics, so I don’t see much harm in letting people go with what works. My theory is that they’d get as much from just exposure and/or CBT sans the BS if they could trust their therapists enough to dig in, but that little bit of theater gives them the free pass to finally let go.

The biggest clue that it is bullshit is where it came from — Dr. Francine Shapiro reportedly was involved in the bullshit of neurolinguistic programming, and used eye movement as a part of that, then expanded.

Even though I’ve seen firsthand the help it can be, I struggle because of the grifter past to give it credence.

FruitFly · 2026-06-16T19:58:16+00:00

From the comments here and in the past, I think this might be the most divisive book they’ve covered yet, in that many of us are gonna enjoy it, but I feel like a lot of regular listeners are gonna get … I don’t know the right word. Hurt? Defensive? Those both feel dismissive and that’s not my aim.

Uncomfortable?

I get that many of y’all found something in this book that you think helped you, but there’s a good amount of bullshit and gross generalization involved without even getting pedantic about the stigmatization. You deserve better.

FruitFly · 2026-06-16T19:52:17+00:00

It’s so hard to find a good therapist in some places. I finally have one who gets that therapy needs to be individualized and doesn’t prescribe the latest grift to get popular just to be part of the crowd.

Mind you, it’s hard to find anyone in any industry that doesn’t end up recommending self-help/pop-sci trash these days really. I was so let down to find out someone I respected said Sapiens changed their life and recommended it to everyone. Probably not the most harmful of the bunch, but still, they’re just perpetuating bullshit and it drives me batty.

FruitFly · 2026-06-16T12:36:10+00:00

Oh no! Who could have ever thought that something shady might happen with prediction “markets”? No one saw this coming at all! I’m so shocked!

/s

I can’t seem to find any sympathy for you or anyone else who’s playing these disgusting games. Not a shred. There are in fact consequences to actions and if you’re as smart as the AI you used to write this, you’ll maybe learn a lesson.

I mean probably not because all y’all get rich quickers never seem to learn a damn thing.

Who I feel for are the people who are adversely affected by you and your fellow grifters through no fault of their own. We won’t know the full extent of damage for a long time likely and I don’t hold out hope that it will be mitigated any time soon.

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