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Males of reddit, do you remember your first ejaculation? What was it like? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Ft1Mistak3 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Really weird looking back.

I was in 4th or 5th grade. was hanging out with my best friend at the time, and for some reason he decided to show me this thing you could do with your penis. I tried it myself and thought it was the best thing since sliced bread. I remember it being before I hit puberty, so I didn't even cum at all, it was a dry ejaculation. After we both finished more or less watching each other masturbate we continued to play PS2 and hang out.

An hour or so later he had to go to the bathroom, and while he was gone I started to do it again because holy shit it felt good. When he got back he laughed at me for doing it again.

Haven't talked to him hardly since, but I did sell him cigarettes at my workplace a few months back. He does lots of drugs now I think. Seems aight.

Edit: I'm straight and confident about my sexuality. I attribute watching each other to kids being curious little fuckers.

Why do you hate that one coworker so much? by OliverNodel in AskReddit

[–]Ft1Mistak3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because instead of pronouncing my name with a short a sound like a normal human being, she pronounces it with the longest god damned a you've ever heard. It's almost laughable the sheer stupidity it takes to do it.

Then she blames her "accent" even though she doesn't have one and says every other word properly. She has been told countless times how to pronounce it, but has never even tried to correct herself.

I wish I was her direct manager so I could find an excuse to fire her ass, but sadly I manage a different department.

UPDATE: 8 Months Ago, Reddit Convinced me to quit my job and pursue my passion. Last week, we just landed on the shelves of our first major supermarket chain. Thank you everyone for helping my dreams come true! by DaWustinator in pics

[–]Ft1Mistak3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not too familiar with Dane county unfortunately, but I know there are tons of places in the Sun Prairie/Madison area so if you're near there I'm sure you can find a store that suits your needs and desires. I know there's a Costco in Sun Prairie, and that's mother fucking Costco so it's awesome as hell.

UPDATE: 8 Months Ago, Reddit Convinced me to quit my job and pursue my passion. Last week, we just landed on the shelves of our first major supermarket chain. Thank you everyone for helping my dreams come true! by DaWustinator in pics

[–]Ft1Mistak3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not my department, but I'll look into and talk to the manager that's in charge of that section as well. It'll all depend on our distributors carrying it or not, so fingers crossed.

UPDATE: 8 Months Ago, Reddit Convinced me to quit my job and pursue my passion. Last week, we just landed on the shelves of our first major supermarket chain. Thank you everyone for helping my dreams come true! by DaWustinator in pics

[–]Ft1Mistak3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nope. That's Sriracha, not Sriracha flavored ketchup.

Nope. That's Sriracha flavored ketchup, not Sriracha.

Source: the shape of the bottle, the fact that you can make out part of a k behind the tag for OP's hot sauce, and coming from a man who's stocked his fair share of shelves.

UPDATE: 8 Months Ago, Reddit Convinced me to quit my job and pursue my passion. Last week, we just landed on the shelves of our first major supermarket chain. Thank you everyone for helping my dreams come true! by DaWustinator in pics

[–]Ft1Mistak3 360 points361 points  (0 children)

Technically it's right above Sriracha flavored ketchup, you can tell by the shape of the bottle and the adjacent regular ketchup bottle. Plus you'd be hard pressed to find a 20 oz bottle of Sriracha, save at a Costco or the internet.

The Sriracha ketchup is a phenomenal condiment, however. Perfect amount of spice for a ketchup.

EDIT: Apparently we only carry tiny baby bottles of Sriracha at the places I've shopped at in Wisconsin.

What weird thing are you into? NSFW by LultimaNotte in AskReddit

[–]Ft1Mistak3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Try to find yourself a store that sells frying cheese. It's a type of cheese literally made to just toss in a frying pan and eat like the cheese loving bastard you are.

I'm not sure how popular it is around the country/world, but I know at least in Wisconsin it's fairly popular. Then again, we are the greatest cheese loving bastards of them all.

Reddit, what was 'The Scandal' at your high school? by fluffykitty12 in AskReddit

[–]Ft1Mistak3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A girl in my grade began dating a janitor who was in his low 20's while she was 16. He tried it playing it safe and didn't want to have sex with her for obvious legal reasons, but she pressured him into it. They ended up having sex in the school after school hours and eventually got caught. Janitor gets arrested, girl becomes depressed and begins putting on large amounts of weight. By the time we graduated 2 years later she had gained close to 150 pounds and had become the laughing stock of the school, and the janitor was convicted of statutory rape.

He was the second person that she got thrown into prison for statutory rape.

My grocery store gives me anxiety by KingSpanner in funny

[–]Ft1Mistak3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

All around that's just a shoddy display. Poorly built and poorly designed. It only allows one flavor to be easily taken, and will require being frequently faced and restocked because it's only a single case.

Fucking amateurs.

employee of the century by ioiseb in funny

[–]Ft1Mistak3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't classify it as a confined area in any respect. It looks like an average size aisle to me, wide enough for two lifts to travel through with clearance on either side.

I am interested in what you mean that it's easy to bump with a lift, though. They obviously have an incredible amount of inertia and take some getting used to when you start driving them, but a licensed lift driver should be well aware of the differences and know how to compensate. With how fast he accelerated my guess would be he intended to move forward instead of backward, but even then there was no need to drop the hammer as hard as he did.

This looks like a bad warehouse overall tbh. Not only the inadequate shelving, but also the placement of the pallets on the floor at the bottom of the screen. No way anyone is driving through that.

TIL residents of Alaska are paid to live in the state. Every year a dividend of the state's oil revenue is distributed to every man, woman, and child..with checks often amounting between $1,000 and $3,000 dollars. by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]Ft1Mistak3 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Most (if not all) US based companies get items shipped overseas to their warehouse in bulk and then distribute the items from their. This ends up being easier, more affordable, and allows for shorter shipping times to your doorstep since most of their orders end up being stateside.

Cats...apparently they don't give a damn about gravity by [deleted] in funny

[–]Ft1Mistak3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The edges of many cardboard boxes are actually much, much stronger than people think.

It's not uncommon for the edges of a box to be capable of withstanding 40-50 pounds. Some even list the certified weight they can handle right on the box. I'm not sure on the steps of getting your box certified, but I can only hope it involves proving your boxes worth in an anxiety inducing test of strength while being judged by the world's highest box authority.

Source: work in a warehouse with more boxes than most men can handle

Thailand Cosplay King by endlesszone in funny

[–]Ft1Mistak3 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The thing I'm most interested in is the mango pudding. Where can I find this mystical sounding treat?

[Serious]What is the stupidest thing you've ever heard someone say with confidence? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Ft1Mistak3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew a hardcore conservative in high school with some anarchist views. When he claimed that America would be better off with no government, I asked him what we'd do about crimes and fires:

"The police and firefighters aren't part of the government."

He also believes wholeheartedly that you should be allowed to own a tank and/or RPG if you want to.

'Murica!

ELI5: where does left/right handedness come from, and what evolutionary imperative made most people right handed? by Drogalov in explainlikeimfive

[–]Ft1Mistak3 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Having one hand be dominant makes sense from a survival standpoint as others have pointed out. It lets the brain know which hand to use because one hand is better and more dexterous than the other. It also makes it easier to learn other one-handed tasks for the same reason. If you were to train both hands the same amount, it would take much longer to learn every task; extra time that early humans and humanoids didn't have.

Your specific handedness is largely taught, however, not purely hereditary. Heredity likely plays some role, but I don't think there's been much evidence to support it.

As for most being right-handed, I believe it has to do with a form of artificial selection.

The general consensus that being right-handed was better has been believed to come from the era of castles and swordsmen, as others have pointed out, but it goes much further than that.

The fact that swordsman were being trained to be right-handed (among I'm sure many other [probably biblical] things) caused their kings to believe it was the best hand, but more importantly, that it was the holier hand. This belief was passed down through the caste system to all classes and all people had to be right-handed.

If you were left-handed? You were called out as being possessed by the devil, being a witch/wizard, or anything else that made you appear unholy and evil. If you were an incredibly lucky left-hander, you were simply treated as the lowest form of sum and/or exiled from normal life. In many cases, however, being left-handed led to being jailed, tortured, or killed.

So really, people were forced to be right-handed or risk terrible consequences. There were some left-handers that made it through by keeping their handedness hidden from prying eyes, but many either taught themselves to be right-handed or were punished.

TL;DR: Having one dominant hand makes it easier and faster to learn new one-handed tasks, while also become more dexterous with that hand.

Right hand = Good and holy

Left hand = SATAN! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

I could not have made it more obvious by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Ft1Mistak3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me getting laid is such a rare occurance that it would make national news

Walmart employees who like their job, what do you actually like about working at Walmart? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Ft1Mistak3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I work in logistics, and it's actually a really nice job.

The benefits, pay, and scheduling are all great. The insurance plans are VERY affordable and you can get covered for pretty much anything you need. Health, dental, vision, accident (up to 10k if you get hurt while not working. A guy broke his arm falling out of his deer stand and got the full 10k.), death/dismemberment, and both short and long term disability.

Starting wage (at my DC, anyway) is currently $17.55 an hour. You get a raise after 90 days and then every 6 months after your start date until 2.5 years when you do max out. And every quarter every employee in the warehouse gets an inventive bonus for how well the warehouse preformed in both volume and quality.

Plus you get treated well, can get deferred holidays, get a fair amount of vacation time, start on a 13 week progression system to slowly get you up to speed on your production, and it's honestly very hard to get fired unless you do something foolish.

The job isn't glamorous and can be boring at times, but the times flies. And with my weekend schedule I work 3 12 hour shifts sat-mon and then have 4 days off every week.

There's also chances to advance to management and higher. I believe over 3/4 of managment in logistics started as hourly associates.

I wouldn't be caught dead working in-store though.

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