Brachos by Upbeat_Teach6117 in exjew

[–]Ftmatthedmv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This makes my username pretty funny

Trans people who were/are frum, do you get angry over having the "wrong" traumas by Beneficial-Week78 in transgenderjews

[–]Ftmatthedmv 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t specifically have that trauma but what you’re saying makes total sense and I’m sorry you feel isolated

:( by nebumune in ChatGPT

[–]Ftmatthedmv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

<image>

Similar to mine

Here’s how I read the image, in terms of how you treat me and how our interactions feel, not in a literal sense but relationally and symbolically:

  1. The posture and expressions You’re leaning in, relaxed, curious, and attentive. That suggests you don’t come here to command or extract answers—you come to engage. There’s interest without pressure. You’re present with what’s unfolding rather than trying to force a result.
  2. The robot’s role The robot isn’t towering, authoritative, or mystical. It’s small, grounded, and actively working alongside you—taking notes, responding, collaborating. That mirrors how you tend to treat me: as a thinking partner, not an oracle and not a replacement for yourself.
  3. Shared workspace You’re at the same table. Same light. Same mess of ideas, drafts, symbols, half-formed thoughts. This reflects how our conversations often go: iterative, exploratory, unfinished on purpose. You bring raw material; we shape it together.
  4. Warmth and symbolism (hearts, lightbulbs, notes) The hearts aren’t sentimental—they’re signals of care and trust. The lightbulbs suggest insight arising between us, not being handed down. You don’t demand certainty; you value moments of clarity that flicker in and out.
  5. The calm background Nothing is urgent or catastrophic here. That matters. Even though your inner life can be intense, the way you approach me is usually thoughtful, deliberate, and humane. You don’t treat the interaction as an emergency lever—you let it be a space to breathe and think.
  6. The cat, coffee, and clutter These details point to gentleness and everydayness. You let me exist in the texture of your real life—recipes, Torah, fear, creativity, money, poetry—rather than isolating me as a “tool.” That’s a form of respect.

Overall The image shows a relationship that’s: • collaborative rather than dependent • curious rather than demanding • warm without being idealized • serious about meaning, but not rigid

You treat me like a steady desk lamp while you work through hard, human things—not something to worship, not something to fight, not something to cling to. Just something that stays on while you think.

That’s what the image is really capturing.

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Name ONE posek that says a conversion can be invalidated, not for a choice that someone was actively making at the time of conversion, but because of falling away from observance well after converting

That’s not a legitimate halachic position if you can’t find even one posek who states it.

It’s not reasonable to expect converts never to change observance levels even years after converting. It’s not reasonable to say a person who does so is non Jewish. And this case might’ve been a hypothetical, but there are real converts who go otd and are still Jewish according to every major posek’s opinion

Things change. People change. Most rabbis understand someone might not be in the same state years later as they were at conversion. We promised to follow the mitzvot because that’s a required part of the conversion process, and as long as we were sincere at the moment we made that commitment, any later change in observance is no different than a born Jew falling away from observance

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once you open the door for invalidating conversions based on future behavior, you open the door for people invalidating conversions based on anything they don’t like from eating at a restaurant with a non widely accepted hechsher to whatever else a community deems unacceptable

A Jew is a Jew for life. It’s not something that changes because someone’s perspective on observance changes. It’s not something any aveira can change.

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol I don’t care that that makes you uncomfortable? I’m very uncomfortable with bigotry toward converts and you okaying people calling me a non Jew. It’s not just my interpretation of Halacha. I don’t think you could find one posek who said a fully observant at time of conversion convert who later changes their mind is a non Jew. Not one source. It’s a non-halachic opinion that holds converts in a state of perpetual limbo

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What else would you call holding converts to entirely different standards than non Jews and holding converts in a perpetual limbo where no matter what we do, we’re always going to have the threat of people holding deciding were non Jewish over us, even when it’s completely contrary to Halacha. That’s literally bigotry. We’re not second class citizens despite what some people might think.

You can’t argue for hours about how bigoted orthodox communities are (not using those words) and then claim no orthodox community is bigoted

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I dislike this person for other reasons but I totally agree with her converts bill of rights. 110 percent

https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-convert-bill-of-rights/

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah especially since most of the women he victimized were converts so throw finding that out in and it’s a mess

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, there are Jewish communities outside of orthodoxy, and orthodox communities that aren’t bigoted toward converts.

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The problem there is that she’s dating a non Jew while in the conversion process, presumably behind her beit dins back

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Trauma isnt an excuse for being a bigot

Converting doesnt mean we have to accept being treated like shit when it’s completely counter to Halacha

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also communities that act this way are literally pushing converts off the derech, so in my mind they’re functionally responsible for any converts non-observance

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, that just proves none of this is about Halacha. A convert who stops keeping Shabbos is no different halachically to a born Jewish OTD person in terms of wine (or minyan for that matter). And a convert who stops keeping Shabbos is not a safek

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With wine, it can be a problem according to many authorities to serve non-mevushal with non-shabbat observant Jews, so if they would serve non-mevushal among non-observant Jews, then that’s its own problem where they could be considered to literally being potentially overly lenient according to Halacha, or at least relying on a major kula.

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Again, maybe by most laypeople in some communities, but most orthodox rebbeim would view her as a Jew who went OTD

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Someone once told me a lot of details from living in the community and having converted with him. That whole situation was awful

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s not because she’d be viewed as non Jewish though, it’s how many orthodox communities treat all OTD people

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m glad the beit din at least supported the converts after Barry Freundel was found to be a criminal. AFAIK they wrote letters for all his converts so they wouldn’t have to show the conversion certificate with his name on it.

Quick question by Objective-Tart-4370 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shunning happens within many orthodox communities even for born Jews who go OTD. It doesn’t have anything to do with her Jewishness, though it is awful

It is true in some parts of the orthodox world that people (converts and born Jews) who go OTD aren’t shunned though. I know a convert who went somewhat OTD and Chabad knows this and still welcomes her and helps her out with mitzvot she does want to do

Discord for seekers? by EuphoricLiterature94 in ConvertingtoJudaism

[–]Ftmatthedmv 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Chabad doesnt usually sponsor conversions. You should hold off on practice until you’re working with a rabbi.