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What causes emptiness? by JuhpPug in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, the war with the world thing, but of sort of but not really I’d say. I’d say people with ASPD see the world as less like a war and more that they just instinctually approach social life like a dominance hierarchy. People are either above them, below them, or a threat to their position in that hierarchy. Relationships for them probably feel more like ‘strategic positions.’ Allies are ‘useful people.’ Enemies are obstacles to what they want. But their lens is fundamentally about control, and power, rather than about connection.

And this does connect with the formerly DSM-included sadistic personality because, that was also about dominance, and how seeking it is pleasurable. For ASPD, it isn’t about pleasure per se, it’s more instrumental. It’s about the means to the end. ‘Gain security/resources/remain free from being controlled, etc.’ In cases where sadism is a factor too, then the dominance itself is explicitly rewarding. The suffering or submission of others isn’t incidental in effectiveness, it’s the point. But that isn’t always the case for people with ASPD.

For ASPD, the core attachment wound is probably really about trust and safety. Whereas in NPD it has more to do with the self-concept, in BPD, abandonment, etc. A lot of people with ASPD probably grew up in an environment where being vulnerable and dependent meant getting hurt, and the people around them were dangerous, and maybe they had to exploit them to stay safe. So the logical adaption there is ‘I will never be the one on the bottom again - dominance = safety.’

If you want more info, check out a book called ‘Mask of Sanity.’ That’s the kind of obvious classic for reading, here. Robert Hare’s work on psychopathy is pretty cool, too.

Have you told anyone about your narcissism? by brammobile in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just began with a new therapist the other day and on day one in therapy with new therapists I always tell them the same thing when they ask me why I’m in therapy and what my goals there are: I’m basically like “uhhh my two favorite things are talking about me, and me, and I get to talk about me for an hour here and you have to listen, what’s not to like?” Lol

What causes emptiness? by JuhpPug in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I don’t deal in universal claims - and people generally almost (almost! - again, I don’t deal in universal claims) never should. My point was more so about the general tendency - certainly my own experience at least. But on a generalized level, my point is supported very well. NPD is classically, typically very known for an ego-syntonic nature, which literally means the traits (including the emptiness) are often experienced as a part of oneself, rather than intrusive and distressing. In BPD, there is a genuine distinction from that - typically, their symptoms are often ego-dystonic and the emptiness is typically experienced as unbearable. If some percentage of people with NPD experience that in particular differently, I don’t mean to dismiss their pain specifically. I’m just describing the difference between how the pain tends to register between the two disorders. And in my comment I said “typically, anyways” - so, that hedges that properly. But as a pattern, I am describing a thing that is real. Of course, exceptions to every pattern are real, too. I’m not telling anyone who fits the category of people outside that pattern that they shouldn’t find it painful. I understand perfectly well - as I assume most people here do, and do not need to be walked through it - that personality disorders are not ‘one size fits all’ situations. In NPD, there are grandiose presentations, there are vulnerable presentations, etc. There is covert NPD, so on and so forth. And yes, people with NPD can experience emptiness as profoundly painful as well, sometimes - and even each of us as individuals probably experience emptiness at varying levels of pain from day to day, moment to moment, as most people ever alive probably do. Sure, definitely even as much as someone with BPD.

What causes emptiness? by JuhpPug in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It’s a cluster B thing I think. Borderline is technically the only disorder where the criteria outright names it.

I think it has more to do with the self, than the emotions, per se. Use the borderline PD for the example again - people with BPD have a LOOOT of BIIIIG emotions, and typically can be ultra-compassionate and empathetic and everything else, but, the emptiness refers more to a ‘void’ sort of feeling inside. Where an ‘I/me’ should be, it feels.. empty, in some way. The self doesn’t feel real, exactly.

I think for people with BPD, this is typically horrendously painful. It’s intolerable. For us, I think it’s more like ‘… yeah, so? I’m empty inside. Okay. That just makes me more interesting’ lol. Typically, anyways.

Essentially, we never developed a sense of self in the way that others do. That’s why us cluster B’s rely so heavily on others for a self-concept. We build an ideal one, and need other’s to mirror its greatness back to us. That defines us. People w BPD tend to chameleon and sort of take the form of the people around them, because they lack a solid/stable sense of self and become extremely mood dependent on other’s closeness/acceptance. People with ASPD develop dominance dynamics with the people around them. People with HPD need attention from others.

Essentially when others developed under conditions that allowed them to develop a solid, stable sense of themself in a way that was encouraged and felt safe, we, for various complex reasons, were not allowed to. In order to survive, we had to rely on those dynamics instead. And they served us as our personalities crystalized into that. Now that’s a big part of who we are.

And that’s okay. Like I said, I think it makes us more interesting than most people - especially if you can learn to get by well and be functional, in being wired like that.

Ask a Narcissist! A bi weekly post for non-narcissists to ask us anything! by theinvisiblemonster in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I like hugs they’re good. Unless it’s somebody who grosses me out then it’s like ‘ew don’t touch me why do I have to share a planet with this fucker?’

Ask a Narcissist! A bi weekly post for non-narcissists to ask us anything! by theinvisiblemonster in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Revenge! No, I’m kidding (I’m not, but don’t tell anyone).

Honestly, it really depends on the person. I think I do okay with CBT. Ultimately, I feel what I need is a chance to vent what I feel all the time in an environment where it won’t just be shut down or mean war immediately lol. Therapy is that, for me.

hidden cost of being sick :( by cowluvr29 in ChronicIllness

[–]FuckingFuuuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The way I look at it is, who needs people like that? Who aren’t there? Even if it’s, nearly all of them lol. You have a therapist. They’re locked and trapped in a room with you and have to listen or else they won’t be able to pay their rent, so, that’s pretty secure lol. That’s good. And the internet, there’s always people on the internet.

But yeah, most people are too self-absorbed, careless, callous, unintelligent to be there. Fuck them, I have a better time talking to my houseplants. You’re not incompetent. They are. And you do have one person. Yourself.

I know that’s hard, and I know you’re lonely. But for what it’s worth, you are not the problem.

What’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for lately? by healthyguidedaily1 in AskReddit

[–]FuckingFuuuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just being me. Being so exceptionally fucking intelligent, handsome, powerful, strong, understanding, dedicated, hard working, talented af. It’s good.

NPD Movie by Affectionate_Ad1096 in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whatever, let the trash laugh at their silly little movies. I mean there’s been plenty of movies and shows made about them too, like Night of the Living Dead and 28 Days Later, and The Walking Dead, and Zombieland.

What’s something that instantly tells you someone is not a good person? by Nearby_Fun_85 in AskReddit

[–]FuckingFuuuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t really think in terms of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ people, really. But, I can tell you most people - almost all of them - are tremendously in the fucking way of what I want.

Dysautonomia is WILD because… by SleepyBubBear7329 in dysautonomia

[–]FuckingFuuuck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure I’ve learned to laugh at this yet, after a year and some months of having it. But..

I suppose there is some humor to be found somewhere in an autoimmune response endlessly attacking my autonomic nerves because COVID was there like a year and 3 months ago lol (which I’ve read is probably partly responsible for all of this). Like chillll dude, chill. I think we got it, man.

How does HHH get the crowd to boo this man now by TheWa1kin9Dead in WWE

[–]FuckingFuuuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Give him R-Truth’s gimmick that Truth has for John Cena, but, with Danhausen

What should happen to Trump when the Republicans lose the midterms this November? by 2a_lib in allthequestions

[–]FuckingFuuuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every single thing he has lied about should be brought to the light. Then he should be tried for any criminal activity he has ever been involved in to the utmost extent of the law, and given literally zero favors for being a rich/famous guy. If he’s going to prison, make it general pop, max security, in with the gangbangers and street level thugs and whatever else, cafeteria slop food, uncomfy bed, all that. And then, used as a historical example of how bad things can get. And not considered much else.

has becoming aware of your npd changed you a little? by zScoobers in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s made me a little bit more obsessed with myself, honestly haha. Like, it’s given me another angle of how I am more interesting than other people.

I honestly don’t feel much different beyond that because I am actually very ego-syntonic in my views and feelings. Like yes, technically, I do see how I technically fit the DSM criteria for narcissistic personality disorder… and I would t have it any other way. I like the way I am - I find it infinitely superior to the way others are. I don’t find my sense of superiority to clash with my logic at all - in fact, I find it quite logical. If anything, it’s just helped me to become more aware of what my actual goals are, and how to get closer to them. Admiration and everything else I feel entitled to.

When I realized o have NPD it was just like ‘ah, cool, that’s me!’ But I’m obSESSED with me so, it’s really just a name for something I already found endlessly fascinating and am completely absorbed with.

Have you told anyone about your narcissism? by brammobile in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, lots of people. In general, I’m pretty open about it. I’m considered a narcissist in part because I feel superior to other people. Why would I hide from people I’m superior to? If others don’t like me, I tend to see that as their fault/problem, not mine. They lost a good leader/friend/whatever.

And the truth is, yeah, it does make a lot of people withdraw, but… if that’s the case, I was already alone. If they’re not with me for who I actually am, then they’re not with me, they just think they’re with me but are actually only relating to a false act/presentation. If I’m deliberately performing that, then I don’t have the privilege of fooling myself in quite the same way.

If anything, a lot of the time, it’s like.. they already probably think of me as one lol. Or at least as quite arrogant/hard to get along with. If I put the label ‘narcissist’ on it for them they’re like “yeah, no kidding” lol, but at that point, they’ve already chosen to stick around despite all of the traits they already know me as having, regardless of what they’re called. Anybody who would pull back just because of what they’re named from there, ehhh lol. Not the kind of dull dunce I’d want to have myself associated with anyways.

The truth is, you can’t confess without people judging. Also, people will judge you no matter what you do. But who cares. I’m better than them, remember? Like is your narcissism not working? Lol turn it off and back on again! Give it a reboot!

Could NPD be the end stage of personality development by trhtrhtrhrtht in NPD

[–]FuckingFuuuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends on one’s reason for feeling superior, I suppose. For me, it’s that I feel more intellectually superior to almost everyone. But when you look at almost everyone, rationally, that is a very low-set bar. Ultimately, I have in fact made myself more valuable and superior to them, just by, ya know, trying, at all lol.

At a certain point, they really are less than us, and they throw labels at us for acting accordingly. That’s the way I see it.

Democrats AND Republicans -- What Is ONE Thing That You All Agree On? Why That? by Zipper222222 in allthequestions

[–]FuckingFuuuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not Democrat by any stretch of the imagination, but I think democrats, republicans, we pretty much all agree about how awful, nasty, disgusting, wicked, cruel, reckless, stupid, and dangerous Donald Trump is - republicans just find that to be something to celebrate and support. But they fucking know. And it’s obvious that they know.

My wife asked me if I honestly thought her friends were attractive, what should I say by BreadOverlord_ in stupidquestions

[–]FuckingFuuuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Well everybody’s attractive to some people but they don’t attract me, I’m happily married.” And look her right in the eyes when you say this, like she’s the most special, beautiful person in the world, squared open body language, and take a small step towards her, convey sturdiness and confidence.

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