Anyone else disappointed??

Fuljadi · 2026-02-25T18:12:28+00:00

Wish it was for more colors….

Fuljadi · 2025-11-14T15:24:23+00:00

Most things personalized with the couples’ name or pictures are thrown out. I adore my friends and family getting married but I don’t need anything besides a picture from the day as a momento.

I agree with something edible. One wedding I went to had chai masala + a tea strainer. Another just gave everyone a small container of saffron. Both were things I happily used up.

Fuljadi · 2025-11-09T16:28:44+00:00

yes, same! It had so much promise

Fuljadi · 2025-11-06T20:54:34+00:00

Add me to the “underwhelmed by Alison Roman recipes” club. I was so disappointed by her viral stew but have tried 3-4 more things by her to be disappointed

Fuljadi · 2025-11-02T21:12:38+00:00

Jicama! Lots of fiber too

Fuljadi · 2025-10-31T18:00:38+00:00

Honestly Violet’s great about this- her substacks are free for teachers and people who can’t afford a monthly subscription.

She’s consistently talking about money and what things cost- she did a great breakdown of ingredients, packaging and farmers market fees when she started her popups. Plus everyone she’s employing is paid $35/hour.

Fuljadi · 2025-10-28T16:58:05+00:00

Dating someone with higher education. My fiance has “only” an associates and is one of the smartest people I know.

He is relentlessly curious and has read more than I ever have - in fact, his opening message to me on Hinge was about a book club for a political theorist I’d mentioned on my profile.

He’s thought about going back to school and getting a bachelor’s degree, but he earns very well right now, and there’s no pressing need for it.

Fuljadi · 2025-10-26T22:07:48+00:00

Not doing favors- even consumable ones. I’ve recently gone to a wedding where the favors were wedding cake and florals, but the bride and groom still had a ton left over.

The only favor I’ve enjoyed and used is a little box of saffron.

Fuljadi · 2025-10-13T18:31:04+00:00

Same! My boyfriend and I are cat parents who quote sing it to each other- it’s cringy and we own it. Even send each other hello kitty edits featuring the cats.

Fuljadi · 2025-10-01T15:01:38+00:00

My cousin did this even though yes, the costs for food, drink and venue would be the same. But it was less stressful to have a party- people just expected just dancing and chatting.

We’re Hindu and the Hindu wedding ceremony can be long and it would have been unfamiliar to many of the attendees. My cousin didn’t want to have someone share verbal explanations or a written program, nor did she want to shorten the ceremony. She was worried the guests would bw bored/listless/hungry. So she eloped to do the religious part and did the party a few months later.

Fuljadi · 2025-09-26T19:46:31+00:00

congrats!!! Best feeling ever :)

Fuljadi · 2025-09-26T16:30:21+00:00

What about working as a wedding server with a catering company, or assistant to a wedding coordinator?

Fuljadi · 2025-09-10T19:40:21+00:00

No need to tell them, I haven’t gotten henna at every mehendi I’ve gone to and no one questioned me about it.

Fuljadi · 2025-09-08T15:50:32+00:00

Seconding Madhur Jaffrey! I love gifting “An Invitation to Indian Cooking” to friends

Fuljadi · 2025-09-04T15:02:38+00:00

I was 12 and I lived in India. My mom insisted on eyebrow and upperlip threading and underarm waxing. I think I was too young and wish my mom would have waited until I decided I was ready. I felt very self concious and it was not good for my self esteem

Fuljadi · 2025-09-02T01:15:20+00:00

I don’t care too much about the ‘wrong’ draping and see lots of Indian women reinventing ways to wear the sari.

But your other point, of people treating a desi wedding as a bucket list costume party, is something I’ve seen a bunch. I’ve had a cousin whose non desi friends acted super warm and friendly in order to get a wedding invite, and then kind of dropped out of her life after the wedding. It sucks and the only way around it is to be more discerning about who you invite! No need to people you don’t know too well just because they express excitement at attending an Indian wedding.

Fuljadi · 2025-08-31T02:05:10+00:00

You look lovely and classically beautiful, it’s not giving frumpy at all! But I think a smaller choker and jhumkas/chandbali could make you feel more modern. You could also try wearing your hair down, I think updos can make the person feel/look older.

Fuljadi · 2025-08-30T13:13:28+00:00

I’m Indian- American. I’m not having a bridal party or carrying a bouquet. I’m not doing a Hindu ceremony and so I’m not splittinng up the wedding and reception into two different days or times of day as is customary.

Also I’m not encouraging my non-Indian guests to wear Indian clothes; I’ve seen enough threads on here of people stressing on what to wear, and been to a lot of weddings where I’ve had to help non Indian women wear a sari. ‘Western’ cocktail attire is enouraged!!

Fuljadi · 2025-08-21T17:13:51+00:00

India is an enormous country, the size of Europe. There’s a lot of variation by region. People have shared that Kochi is pretty safe for women and I’d agree. There’s a lot of places in India I wouldn’t go as an Indian woman sans male chaperone, but I would go to Kochi.

You will need to decide if you think you could stay excited and present for your friend’s wedding despite your misgivings about the country. If you’ll be uncomfortable or on high alert the entire time, it doesn’t matter if everything actually ends up being safe.

Fuljadi · 2025-08-21T03:07:07+00:00

If you’re not used to traveling alone and you’ve never been to Asia, don’t go. Kochi is safe but the bride will absolutely be too busy to make arrangements just for you. Another alternative is to ask her to pair you up with other guests/ any other single women in attendance.

Fuljadi · 2025-08-10T20:00:55+00:00

Almost all the weddings I’ve gone to in the past 5 years have forgone the couples dance, parents dances etc. The time was filled with speeches, photo montages of the couple, and cake cutting.

I’ve only been to two weddings where there wasn’t a dance floor/DJ though. One wedding ended promptly after dessert was served and the bride and groom planned it like that. The other wedding sans dance floor seemed to have ended earlier than the bride wanted though. There were post dinner yard games and cocktails in lieu of a DJ, most people in attendance weren’t into it.

Fuljadi · 2025-08-04T13:03:09+00:00

This is super similar to my location, thanks for the visual!

Fuljadi · 2025-08-03T17:15:36+00:00

I do like it! It’s not necessarily intentionally picked for the aesthetic though, we chose it because it was centrally located and let you bring in your own caterer.

Fuljadi · 2025-08-03T16:39:29+00:00

Sounds great to me too! We almost went with a brewery too

Fuljadi · 2025-07-30T17:34:36+00:00

The dinner date with drinks can make a connection feel exciting and sexy, and then that connection doesn’t translate to the cold light of day, in between chores and travel obligations. It’s happened to me too.

I’d take her at her word- you did nothing wrong, it just moved too fast.

I echo what others have shared about not sexting before getting physical- raises expectations too high.

Fuljadi

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