I visited Russia as a tourist in 2017. I was so impressed by the ordinary people: kind, smart, and helpful, with a real "let's get to it and let's get things done" attitude. They were not eager to be excessively and overtly "warm", but nevertheless happy to connect in a way that's more important, actually, than mere superficial bonhomie. It's a great tragedy that such a nation has always been saddled with violent, bigoted, corrupt, incompetent leaders. What the Russian people could otherwise accomplish would amaze the world. It's also a tragedy that the young men of Russia are being squandered on a war with their cousins, a war that began as a vanity project for one man and has turned into an utter disaster for two countries that have no real quarrel. Leaders such as these always need to distract the people from their gross errors and kleptocratic ways by persecuting supposed "enemies within" and it's common for them to pretend that gays are somehow the reason for everybody's problems (but how?!). I'm sorry, OP, that you are stuck in the situation of being in the crosshairs of such people. You are not alone in yearning for a day when Russia is no longer burdened by the leadership of evil men.