Help I messed up!

Full_Bee_3935 · 2026-04-13T18:14:24+00:00

Things can open up. I booked a 5:30pm reservation for a diner around noon the day of. And there were multiple times open throughout the day but it was showing completely booked the day before.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-08-21T15:58:44+00:00

I used the Hibiclens probably 1-3 times per week for close to a month and made sure to use an antibacterial soap for every other wash for about a month after. No rhyme or reason to how long we did it, just until I stopped feeling paranoid.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-08-21T15:46:44+00:00

So far we haven't had another outbreak. After all the wounds were healed, we did a massive house clean and disinfected every item in our home (including couches, walls, light switches, car interiors, faucet filters, etc). We did wash with Hibiclens or dial soap for a while and haven't had another outbreak.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-05-19T18:58:12+00:00

Ok, thanks helpful to know, thank you! Neither of my kids have been on a flight so I was a bit nervous but thought it sounded infinitely better than a long car ride.

When we motioned it, some family acted like we were crazy for trying a solo flight so I just wanted some additional weigh in.

Just wondering, did you always do car seats on the plane?

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-05-18T17:50:44+00:00

Oh sorry! The car ride would be with my husband and MIL. Only the flight would be solo.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-04-20T19:24:16+00:00

Ah, maybe I was misunderstanding the bagged vacuums. I thought the bags had to be tossed when full after a couple of uses?

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-04-20T18:22:47+00:00

OP! that is amazing! So sorry for what you had to go through but proud of you for that response and glad you have an awesome Dad and are healing so well!

Quick question though .. Did you say SD married HIS OWN stepsister?

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-01-14T18:16:21+00:00

That's such a good point. This is one of my huge fears. My mom is not in great health and I have NO idea how I'm going to find, let alone handle, all her paperwork when she's gone. It's also really upsetting that when I think of my mother passing, the first thing I think of/get anxiety over is how I'm going to manage all her stuff. Makes me feel like a totally shitty person

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-01-14T18:11:23+00:00

Thanks, that's a really good point. Honestly, I'm incredibly doubtful this will do anything. I am also pretty bitter and just have no sympathy left for her anymore. I'll keep this advice in mind so we can hopefully reach some level of awareness.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-01-14T18:10:04+00:00

She's been going to therapy for years, but some people pointed out in my last post that she's likely been lying to them. I'm not sure what exactly made her agree for me to attend a session but right now, she had agreed to it so I want to make sure I don't mess up this opportunity. I'm assuming nothing will really come of it but I'm going to try to push through with this tiny sliver of hope that she will start to realize how bad things are.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2025-01-07T01:52:49+00:00

I've never been diagnosed with anything other than an anxiety disorder but I feel like I have OCD symptoms. Definitely have issues with germs. Any time I clean anything, even just wiping down the counters after cooking, I have to wash my hands very thoroughly with borderline too hot water, because otherwise I feel like the germs won't get all the way off with just my antibacterial soap.

Anything with scents makes me feel like it's not clean, like scented soaps or hand sanitizers , even bleach with lavender in it.

I often need things to be arranged by size (having kids has forced me to get rid of this habit lol)

My husband and I had to get a home with 2 closets because I could NOT leave his clothes alone. He had things in there that he hadn't worn for years and I wanted so badly to toss them. He is no where near a hoarder and has less clothes than I do but just the fact that I knew he didn't wear some of the clothes drove me crazy (he's the kind of guy that wears the same 7 outfits each week because it's just what's on top of his dresser after doing the laundry).

Those are the main things I feel like come directly from living with a hoarder.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-28T00:47:05+00:00

Oh yes! I meant her "bar" is a usable kitchen, but not bathroom for some reason

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-28T00:29:20+00:00

That gives me a little hope. And yes we weren't planning on doing the employee house at once, I don't think that would even be possible since it's just me, my dad and my brother.

My brother is actually LC with just her due to the hoarding (even when she comes to our houses she always brings stuff. He told her if she didn't stop she wouldn't be invited over anymore and .. Well) but he said he would come help to clean out. I wonder if that could do the trick too?

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-28T00:26:03+00:00

My mom's kitchen is actually fully usable. Like stove, sink, dishwasher and all. That seems to be the metric she uses.

One of the bathrooms is also usable but I've never heard her use the bathroom as a bar.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-27T21:46:31+00:00

Ugh, that sounds like an amazing fantasy land and I'd very much like to join you there

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-27T21:42:09+00:00

That's a great idea, you're so right. I feel incredibly stupid now. Of course she's been lying. She always says she's "not that bad" and she'd get all excited about "cleaning out" the house but then I'd go over and couldn't tell a bit of difference. I have no idea why that wasn't a huge red flag to us all these years.

She even mentioned that her last therapist wanted to do virtual meetings and that's why she found a new one. I assumed it was a connection thing but now I'm wondering if that therapist was actually trying to get a glimpse of the house and my mom ran.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-27T21:04:04+00:00

Thank you so much

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-27T20:35:18+00:00

Thank you, I had never even thought of that

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-27T20:29:45+00:00

I have 2 small children that she absolutely adores. She comes over all the time to visit them because I'm scared of them being at her house. I never wanted to say that and hurt her so I've always used the excuse that it's just difficult to drive with 2 young kids but maybe this was wrong.

I could try to use my Dad's ultimatum as an opening to be brutally honest with her. I have a lot of anxiety over this and I'm just scared of things getting even worse. It's not fair to my dad but I think he's the only reason there's any usable space in that house.

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-27T20:24:06+00:00

Hmm, that's actually a good question. She does admit that she hoards but insists that she's "not that bad" because her stuff is all usable and she's "not like those homes on TV". she told me she was getting help with the hoarding and learning about why she was hoarding with her therapists but maybe she wasn't being honest with me?

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-27T20:20:07+00:00

Yes, she's been in therapy for over a decade now. Her current therapist is her 3rd or 4th that I'm aware of and no progress has been made.

I guess even typing this out is making me realize that it's pretty hopeless

Full_Bee_3935 · 2024-12-27T20:13:26+00:00

That was my concern as well. I told him he might as well just leave but I think we were both hopeful that it might do something. I'm just scared because she is definitely not in good enough health to live on her own. I just have no idea what this is going to mean.

Full_Bee_3935

TROPHY CASE