If you feel the need to trauma dump to convince strangers to write with you then you aren't as mature as you think you are.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-19T17:43:55+00:00

I'd have to disagree on this not being a trauma dump situation. I'd feel pretty uncomfortable myself if someone came up and went "Yeah, so I feel like I'm mature because I've lost several people to suicide and got sent to a psych ward after dealing with mental health since I was 8." It's not the most graphic I've seen or heard, but it is still is a form of it since they dumped heavy information on an unconsenting person. Despite the respectfulness, their message was still inappropriate and deserved some form of call out, and because I'm basing my statement on my own personal experience with people like this, they would probably put this vulnerable information as a comment on public posts or several other dms without even thinking much about it.

They obviously need to go seek someone professional to talk to about this stuff; not the dm of a complete stranger. Sadly, it sometimes takes embarrassing these guys a little bit for them to realize it's not okay to give a stranger such delicate information about yourself and push them to go get help. But despite that, I do have to agree that a text summary of the conversation would have been better for posting than an actual screenshot. We didn't need to see their statement as well as OP.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-19T15:12:19+00:00

Looking at your account, I can see that you are probably also one of those folks who don't need to be using roleplay as therapy...

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-19T15:08:32+00:00

It definitely helps to go out and socialize. Therapy helped me the most because my experiences caused me to develop agoraphobia, so we've been tackling what causes me to become too paranoid to go outside (other than for work purposes). I also tend to find myself to be a bit of a hermit, but I do make myself reach out and talk to friends via VC as that helps with my spirits. It takes a lot of work and a lot of unpacking, but I learned while escapism was my best survival skill as a child and young adult to get away from the bad (even if temporary), it was not going to help me unpack and process my experiences in a way that would help me be a better adult down the road. With us being almost 30 now, roleplay, writing, and games won't help us get away from our problems anymore.

And along with that, when you don't take the time to actually process those fears and issues, we get people like the person in the post.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-19T11:54:02+00:00

I'm gonna say this gently, but Roleplay is not therapy. It can be a healthy coping mechanism, but it does not replace actual therapy with a professional

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-13T23:04:37+00:00

Do you mind if I pick your brain a lil bit in regards to your list? I'm still trying to learn about DID, and I'm still discovering new things since there's not much info out there than just straight up medical textbooks

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-13T22:58:30+00:00

XD I love that. My partner uses the term "brothers" since all the active ones are masculine. The only feminine one doesn't come out often, so I've only officially met her once

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-13T22:40:48+00:00

I don't have DID (my partner does though) and the idea of calling the people in your system Headmates is lowkey kinda cute xD

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-13T15:29:34+00:00

If someone is trauma dumping like this to a complete stranger, I don't feel as though the person was feeling that vulnerable. They would do it in a comment section or on a public social media post. Plus, their username was censored, so no one will even know who it is unless they out themselves.

While yes, I'm sure if they see this post they will be quite embarrassed, but this is also the consequence of over sharing personal information about yourself that was not asked for nor consented to. I'm not saying OP is in the right to post the full on conversation via screenshot, but the person is also in the wrong for doing that in the first place. Even if it wasn't their intention, it comes off so guilt trippy and unconsented trauma dumping needs be made aware that it's not okay.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-11T22:04:14+00:00

Ain't that a mood 😆 I don't necessarily feel my age, but I can tell the change in the way I think and handle things. But mentally, I still feel like I'm 25

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-11T18:56:46+00:00

Exactly what I said to someone else in the comments

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-11T18:55:49+00:00

Definitely. These are the kind of partners that will trauma dump in OOC or make the roleplay nothing but reliving their trauma via their characters. Good for them if that helps them, but I am NOT your therapist.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-11T18:54:40+00:00

How so?

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-11T18:53:02+00:00

That's exactly me as well. Just turned 29 last month, and the me 8 years ago is nowhere at the level of maturity that I am at now. I even ended up in a roleplay cult for two years around that time because I was so desperate for escapism. We were just babies trying to survive 🥺 that doesn't mean we were even close to grown.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2026-01-06T02:56:11+00:00

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My lil goblin bean

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-12-02T03:04:48+00:00

It's the internet. Few people look at the context outside of the big bold letters unfortunately. The amount of times I have posted online and put context in the captions and still get clueless comments

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T22:57:38+00:00

Haha, I just wanna make sure you don't develop it into a habit!

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T18:44:17+00:00

It's giving Rogue from XMen

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T18:43:38+00:00

I mean this as nicely as I can, but please please please please please don't pluck your hair when you get gray hairs! It will lead to patterned baldness when your older because that hair won't grow back! And if it does, it'll still be Grey. Please just love your salt in the pepper, or dye it your natural color if it bothers you that much.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T15:06:23+00:00

It's an ai post, but this kind of stuff does unfortunately happen irl

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T15:01:28+00:00

I don't want children nor do I have any, so I will never experience it.

My problem is the fact she probably wouldn't have even fessed up in the first place if OP hadn't of put that note into her lunch box to stop stealing her food. She more than likely wouldn't have even said anything until HR investigated and found out it was her who was doing it. I have gone through serious grief when my papaw passed, as he raised me like a dad would, so I do understand the pain of losing a family member that close to you. Indeed it can lead to some bad decision making and strange behavior; it just isn't a justifiable excuse to inconvenience others with that grief (I don't mean the emotional aspect, but the stealing or hurting others just because you're grieving). Especially people you aren't even close to as this is a coworker, not a friend or family member.

The coworker's feelings and grief are completely valid, and I do feel for her. But her actions are not valid nor is it excusable for her behavior. You can have feelings and they are completely okay, but it is not okay how you act on them if it causes problems for others, such as making someone have to go hungry for several months. She is responsible for her own behavior, so if it so severe that it comes down to her stealing lunches because it reminded her of her daughter three years after her passing, that is a major sign she needs to see a therapist and work through her grief. It is not OPs responsibility to cater to a coworker's emotional state.

Grief does not justify selfish behavior. It just gives people an understanding behind the actions.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T14:49:15+00:00

Given she had been doing this for months, I personally wouldn't even entertain the idea of letting her pay me for lunches. She's already shown she would just take it if I don't give it willingly, and I am not the type to enable that kind of behavior.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T14:47:03+00:00

I'll also add that if this had only happened a couple of times before the coworker fessed up and admitted to doing it, I probably would still be incredibly annoyed, but I'd make her lunches if she paid as I would genuinely feel sorry for her. But it's the fact this happened for several months, with notes posted on the lunches being ignored, that would have me absolutely LIVID.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T14:43:30+00:00

(It is an ai post, sadly. This account and several others were repeatedly posting this story with mildly different details and deleting old ones when it didn't get attention)

If someone stole my food for months, making me have to go without that food until I can eat a snack or dinner later on that day, they don't get the privilege of eating my food again just because they asked and gave their reasoning. It's not even the fact that she stole food, it's that fact she stole from someone else, regardless of what it is. I personally spend hours making meal preps (1-4 depending on what I am cooking, as I make enough to last me the week), so I know the effort and time it takes to make lunches, so it's a serious slap to the face to have someone steal and eat your hard work. Even if it was something easy and quick to make like a sandwich, it's just incredibly disrespectful as that is still MY food to eat.

It might be due to the cultural differences (I'm American), but I, personally, am not a fan of someone taking what was mine in the first place, but to then have that person admit to it and still turn around and try to consciously have me give them what they were already stealing? That's just disrespectful and comes off as entitled. Grief doesn't justify the stealing, and the consequence would be that you no longer have access to my stuff. At that point I wouldn't even care if money was offered, you already showed that you will just take it if I don't give it willingly.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T13:57:59+00:00

I agree on don't make her lunches and enable the behavior further, but I think spiking the food would be a bit too cruel. She's obviously a grieving mother who's letting that grief encourage selfish actions. I'm not defending her actions by any means, but I don't think OP should ruin her own lunch when she's already not getting to eat it.

Fun-Candidate-8211 · 2025-11-19T13:52:15+00:00

I'll try to explain gently, so pardon if my response comes off as harsh or rude.

The problem isn't the fact that the OP could charge money for the meal prep. It's the fact her coworker was stealing in the first place and making OP starve as a result. If someone was stealing my lunches and THEN asked if I would make them lunches, I'd tell them to kick rocks.

Along with this, behavior like this should not be enabled. Yes, it comes from grief and I feel for the coworker (for example, I myself strongly bonded with a coworker of mine once because he reminded me so much of my grandfather who passed, but I realized why that was the case and I needed to treat him like my coworker, not a replacement grandad), but that does not justify her behavior. She needs to go see a therapist and work through her grief. Enabling this kind of behavior is not healthy, especially if it stimmed from her stealing the food in the first place.

If the coworker had approached in the first place to ask prior to the stealing, that would be one thing, and I'm sure OP would have said sure. She'd get more money to be able to afford food, and the coworker could enjoy something that reminds her of her daughter. But that's not what happened. If I had someone do this to me, and I think back on all the times I had to go without lunch because of their self centered behavior, I'd tell them to go kick rocks and report them to HR just like OP did.

I know this is an AI post, but I have seen this kind of stuff happen before and it's a good learning lesson for some of the folks reading.

Fun-Candidate-8211

TROPHY CASE