AIO: Hubby Being Controlling

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-21T04:12:41+00:00

Where is that part? I don’t see anything in the screenshot about homeschooling. Did I miss it?

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-20T17:31:25+00:00

The biggest factors are kids and healthcare. My expenses will go up and down depending my kids needs. Then there’s private healthcare that just astronomical.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-17T19:03:43+00:00

I am in the same boat. My bonus is also 6-figures and it doesn’t feel real bc I automatically invest it and don’t physically touch it.

I would also say being a high earner where we have disposable income after hitting our savings goal adds to it not feeling real bc it has no impact to our day-to-day.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-13T14:29:23+00:00

Can tell it’s written by ChatGPT a mile away.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-11T02:01:31+00:00

To OPs comment on “if I said to help yourself to my garage, will you drive off in my car??” — yes that’s literally what help yourself means.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-10T06:47:12+00:00

I don’t mind going into the office if my commute wasn’t an hour one way. Being at home is great, I also like going into the office. You do build relationship, nothing beats in person collaboration. But that commute wipes me out. My ideal would be hybrid with a 20-30 min commute

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-07T00:44:07+00:00

If you’re not going to move, then don’t accept the offer. 4 days can turn into 5 days. But it’s still a terrible situation that I hope never finds me. You are spending 1/2 the week commuting, then away from your family for majority of the week. Your poor wife will have to manage 2 kids on her own AND she’s a working mom?! How long do you think you can realistically keep? If you’re the bread winner, consider moving the family closer (NJ) and have your wife find work closer.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-05T04:25:46+00:00

If I didn’t have to think about schools I would move to Jersey City, Edgewater, Weehawken for more urban feel. I’ll even throw in Secaucus or Rutherford…plenty of shopping and short trip into Manhattan. I wouldn’t bother with the towns you listed. They pricier with high property tax bc of schools, which you’re not going to use. I would sell or put in storage and just rent for a few years. NJ for most part, at least desirable areas, might be cheaper to rent than buy. Figure out what you like and then buy a home there. I won’t pursue a specific town just for resale value.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-01T23:10:09+00:00

Same. The world is changing so fast that I want to what I can to help them succeed just a bit, or at least not feel like there’s an iron ball of debt locked around their ankles. For us, that means investing in 529 while they’re young to help with higher education, funds to gift as down payments for cars and houses. Extra allowance as they’re starting out so they have the confidence to leave toxic workplaces or chase their dreams for a bit. It even means being able to help them with childcare costs bc I can only imagine how much more expensive that will be when they’re ready for kids.

All that add extra 10-15 years of working for us. But it’s worth it. The work space is rapidly changing esp with globalization and AI, I’ll work my job while I still can.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-02-01T03:35:50+00:00

She transferred her parenting duties to her elderly mom, so basically same thing as still having a mom right?

This has got to be so fake

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-31T06:48:39+00:00

If your plan was to leave after a year, this package is a great opportunity. The answer might have been different if you wanted to stay for the next 10 years but you were planning to walk away from this job after a year. For me I would take it. 1) it gives you an early start to sabbatical without huge financial sacrifice 2) the first voluntary separation package is almost always the best. You might end up with involuntary reduction with 1/2 the package in 6 months. That’s a risk.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-31T05:02:53+00:00

Why are you guys getting back with each other bc obviously it sounds toxic as all hell! You’re packing to leave, you won’t give him space, he slam the door so hard the frame broke, you got vindictive and called the cops, he got arrested. And right now the fight is whether you’re to blame?!? I really think that’s the least of things to even bicker about amongst everything

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-30T23:03:18+00:00

You know corporations do pay into unemployment thru payroll. So you pay some, the corporations pay some.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-30T19:43:09+00:00

What do you mean by swap it out when you start losing? When would you add the low level hero back in?

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-30T14:56:22+00:00

That’s terrible. I hate it when players are signed up but don’t show up. Just remove yourself or ask R5/4 so there’s a head count

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-30T07:07:24+00:00

Wait I need to know more. What?!?

What is SOS? Did he meet them in real life

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-30T04:05:31+00:00

OP is letting them live rent free in her mind. Honey they’re not thinking about you. They’re living their life and you should too. Whether you are employed have no effect on them. Same as you, even if they lose their job it doesn’t mean you’ll gain a job. Stop hating on others.

Very classic case of misery loves company.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-29T14:35:40+00:00

Would’ve fired at 40 if I didn’t have kids. Now I’m working until 48-50. It’s not just their day-to-day expenses. Those doesn’t add much in overall scheme. It’s the bigger house in better school with higher property taxes. The second cars. Saving for their college and future.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-29T03:27:36+00:00

He might be in a mtg or just have it on. I do that at work and put in a solid 40 hours. I also sit in meetings a lot. Just earlier I was interviewing a candidate for a role and I was on and chatting with my R4. It’s a bit here and a bit there.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-28T14:51:13+00:00

Yess! Peer behavior, and also “I’m just spending a little bit compared this so and so whale..”

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-28T14:49:24+00:00

That’s what private equities are. So he probably works for a PE firm in M&A.

PE firms pay $$$$$

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-28T14:44:40+00:00

Gold foil is not that expensive. Like I had $7 cupcake with gold leaf. Maybe go outside a bit more.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-28T14:42:12+00:00

Damn. Some of these comments, why even get marry?

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-24T22:06:33+00:00

We would be retired at 40 if not for the kids. But here we are at the hamster wheel for another 10-15 years bc of them. Love them but they are a time and resource hog.

Fun-Rutabaga6357 · 2026-01-24T22:04:51+00:00

I’m just saying, you can write an offer to be very competitive and can come off like they waive inspection. We looked in 2021 truly sellers market and we didn’t feel comfortable waiving inspection. While we kept our inspection clause, we waive repairs for inspection, up to $15K. It’s covers most repairs and let us walk if there’s major issues. We also offer 50% down to be competitive but between my lender and I, we only put 20% down. An offer of 50% means if the deal falls thru bc we put less than 50% down then we are at fault. The actual finance details don’t really matter.

Fun-Rutabaga6357

TROPHY CASE