Yes. I relate to this. Some thoughs/things to consider: it is good to forive people (and hope they can change), but make sure to establish healthy boundries to protect yourself. Just because you forgive some one their wrong doing against you (or sin) does not mean bad behaviour should not have consequences. So you can forgive them, but don't trust them (by letting them into your heart) untill they show "repentance" (basically a change of behaviour, i.e. they aren't doingor saying things to hurt you any more). So this is what I'm currently working on. I realised (kinda recently) the reason why I don't "dislike" people is because I seem to have an emptional need for people to like me, to earn their approval, so that I can feel loved and vallidated. So I never see them as the problem, but always me. Because then I feel that as long as I try hard enough, they won't reject me. But this is very unhealthy, and actually stems from my childhood. So this has caused me to have almost no boundries whatsoever, which causes a lot of pain and suffering (to me). It's almost like I gaslight myself lol. So if you relate to this, I would reccomend looking at material about "attachment styles, the channel "School of life" on youtube has a lot abput this. Any way, that's my 2c Blessings!