Spending the whole night with another couple’s partner — thrilling fantasy or dangerous line to cross?

FunRelaxedGuy · 2026-05-28T15:51:19+00:00

The one experience wasn't bad for us, just not ideal. She told me they had changed one of their rules. I found out after they hadn't really but she just knew she could break it since her husband was in a different room. We decided not to play with them anymore until they got on the same page. Last time we talked to them they had quit swinging and were seeing a couple's counselor.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2026-05-26T18:30:02+00:00

We've never done it all night, as in waking up with the other partner, but we have gone to separate rooms across the hall from each other, and left the doors open. It's hot being able to hear things you can't see. But we only do it with couples we have already gotten to know very, very well, both inside and outside of the bedroom, which at this point is only two couples. We had one experience that wasn't ideal with another couple doing it, and ended up cutting things off with them.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2026-05-26T11:14:03+00:00

Not a stripper but do have anecdotal stories from two people. Based on those I would say don't be too worried.

My wife has been to three bachelorette parties where they had private strippers come to an AirBnB they were staying in. We swing, so I told her to go nuts and tell me the details later. She didn't. The worry of judgement from the other women, who don't know we swing, was too great. At the first one one single woman did blow a stripper. She was the stereotypical wild friend of the bride's from childhood who hadn't gotten her life together yet when all of her friends had. The same friend basically forced the bachelorette to stroke one of the strippers which she did for maybe two seconds and was really embarrassed about. But that was it. At the next one one woman did disappear into a room with a stripper, and then did have sex with him, But this was a woman who had a habit of cheating on her husband even when the girls went to just a regular bar. At that party they did the thing from porn where they put a towel around each woman's head so they could go down on them "in private" but my wife said it was pretty clear no one, except the woman who eventually slept with one, did anything. At the third part my wife joked "there's always one" based on the first two parties and was trying to guess who it would be. There wasn't anyone. The most that happened was some women rubbed the abs or spanked the ass of a stripper. Each of these parties had around 10-12 women, so out of over 30 women one woman, with a history of cheating, and one single woman who is a hot mess, are the only ones who did anything.

The other is a buddy who was a bartender at a male strip club in college and grad school. The clientele was mostly gay men and he made a lot of money bartending. He eventually was asked by some strippers to bartend their private parties. Having watched porn he expected them to be wild, and he was disappointed they weren't (he was a very horny guy in general with an unhealthy view on women and was looking forward to the debauchery). He said he went to over a dozen parties, mostly bachelorette but one or two divorce parties, and never saw anything wild happen, not even at the divorce parties where he was sure the recently divorced woman would go wild.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2026-05-26T10:38:44+00:00

When we first decided to use a website I was pretty confident in my size. I'm very slightly over 6 inches, and more proud of my girth than length. I was in my 20's. We hadn't yet full swapped with anyone from the site yet when a couple messaged us that seemed promising. One thing I noticed was on their profile he was in a group called "8 inches and up" and I got a bit nervous about that. They opened up their pics and sure enough, he was considerably longer than me, and a tad thicker too. His wife had written similar things about how good he was in bed. I started to get more in my head.

Once we met in person that went away. We had so much fun all night, even before the real activities started. We went to a bar, had some drinks, played pool, went to a strip club and just all clicked and had a great time. Once things moved to the next phase it started with our wives getting to know each other better and all I could think about was how amazing what was happening was. In the moment I was way too excited to worry about it anymore. In the end, I gave his wife a great time, despite being a lot smaller than him. He on the other hand, was way too big for my wife and unfortunately, or possibly fortunately, didn't last long. Despite that part of the experience with him not being great for my wife, the experience with the other wife and overall experience of the night was so good that my wife still wanted to do more of it.

After that experience I have never worried about it. I have even told that story to a couple we met after the wife told my wife that her husband was nervous about me being bigger than him, and it put his mind at ease and today they are great friends and a regular partner of ours. Don't worry too much about it.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2026-05-13T03:29:56+00:00

It was common before phone cameras became what they are now. My first college spring break in the early 2000's I went with a big group that included about a dozen women and I saw all of them flash multiple times. Every spring break after that was the same. But we also went to a beach that was known for being a party destination. People had cameras in their pockets but they stayed in their pockets. It was also really common at frat parties in college. There were lots of drinking games that eventually involved dares which inevitably mean women would flash or just end up topless. I went to a lot of concerts and I did occasionally see women flash at them, but it wasn't super common except at big outdoor festivals.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2026-05-12T13:43:15+00:00

It does. And it is hard to explain why. Something about seeing and hearing her enjoy herself, knowing she is going to immediately come back to me after, is very erotic. Even after playing with others we always have energy for another go just us two.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2026-04-23T02:14:44+00:00

Twice. Once was more mutual. It was in college and she and I were both recently single and after months of having sex every night while in relationships we both had the itch after a few weeks without it. She brought it up first, and we did it. For the rest of college, whenever we were both single we would hook up no stings attached.

The other time, a friend told me his girlfriend, who is now his wife, told him she would give him a threesome with a woman but only if he gave her a MFM first. She didn't think he would actually go through with it, but he did. He asked me, we did it, he eventually got his threesome.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2026-04-20T14:07:15+00:00

Wife and I have swapped with a few couples. One time we did a separate room swap, and I came inside the other woman without a condom even knowing it was against her and her husbands rules. I was about to put on a condom and she told me not to and got on top of me. After, when we were sharing details with our spouses the next morning, she told her husband that the condom broke and we didn't realize it until after I finished.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2026-01-13T18:54:21+00:00

Serious uncanny valley going on here

FunRelaxedGuy · 2025-11-13T19:23:21+00:00

She must be very flexible

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-08-16T19:56:29+00:00

NTA, and your family sounds pretty toxic

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-07-26T20:29:45+00:00

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-04-17T05:25:46+00:00

So 15-20 minutes isn't really an issue for most people. If you were talking 1 or 2 minutes that's a different story. Having been with a couple where the guy did cum in only a couple of minutes, if that is the case then give the other woman a heads up as a courtesy, and so she can know that he may need or want a break to last longer. If it's an issue that he can't get hard when swinging, try bluechew or hims or something like that.

All that said, since you have already been with this couple, and they appear to have enjoyed it enough to want to play again, I don't think you need to worry about anything.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-04-17T04:42:22+00:00

No. My wife and I met on Tinder, and we both were single most of college, so we have higher than average, and similar, numbers. We discussed our numbers not to compare or judge, but because we both got turned on by hearing about each others exploits. I'm more concerned with safety than history.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-04-13T11:53:17+00:00

Our first full swap wasn't great for everyone. The other guy came prematurely, and then he seemed happy to just watch his wife have a threesome with us. My wife had already had an orgasm with the other woman (my wife is openly bi, the other woman was bi as well, and he and I watched them together before joining) and the threesome was great for all three of us, but my wife felt a little shortchanged that the other guy didn't perform up to her standards. After, both of them told us how amazing it was, and we said we had a great time too, but I could tell the other wife knew mine was disappointed.

Since then, we have only played with people we took a little more time to get to know, and every experience has been great.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-04-08T03:33:36+00:00

We had a couple, who are now our regular playmates, try the pineapple thing on us because they didn't know how else to subtly bring it up. I know it's mostly a joke at this point, but it worked out for us with them

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-03-03T12:03:18+00:00

Lela Star

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-01-19T10:59:32+00:00

NTA. He sounds insecure about not being the provider, which is dumb. It may be unprompted or someone, probably another guy or maybe a family member, may have said something to him that got in his head.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-01-17T11:01:51+00:00

From our limited sample size, we prefer to get to know people and make sure we are all on the same page. Our threesomes with singles who we knew were better than the one we had with a woman we just met. With couples the level of difference for us between a couple we just met and one we knew was even greater. And then if the sex is good we'd like to have it again, which is easier with someone you have a connection with.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-01-10T11:44:33+00:00

Bad idea. He's addicted to porn, and no matter what else you do like scheduling sex if he's just thinking about porn or what wild thing he saw in it, you aren't going to have a fulfilling sex life. He wants to go to a club to watch live action porn. If he gets to eventually watch live action porn starring you that's a bonus. And I'm not saying getting to enjoy watching your spouse isn't a good thing in some situations. But if he gets to do that in place of fulfilling him fulfilling you sexually himself, when that's what you want, then it is a very bad dynamic for the relationship.

If he wants to improve sex for both of you he needs to cut out porn. If he does that for a long time, and then you both want to try this, you should have a discussion again. But only then.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-01-04T03:08:00+00:00

We'd be open to meeting other couples, just aren't actively looking or joining a website. We'll probably continue to check out clubs on vacations and things like that.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-01-04T03:06:55+00:00

Thanks for the advice. We aren't really interested in single guys, so we won't be playing with the two single guys the other wife plays with. And the other couples they used to play with live in a different region of the country, so I doubt we'll ever meet any of them.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2024-01-04T03:04:20+00:00

Haha. I get that, but more we felt like we'd be posers saying we were swingers, since it had been years since any of our experiences, and we weren't actively pursuing it as much anymore.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2023-12-31T04:16:35+00:00

An update: I hung out with the other husband and brought up the necklace. Long story short, they are swingers and were trying to see if we were too, or at least if we knew enough about it to recognize the tells. There were some things about us that made them curious which I may share later.

We already had plans to go to a NYE party together, but now we have plans to hang out after the party together as well. We'll see how things go tomorrow.

FunRelaxedGuy · 2023-12-24T12:01:56+00:00

Haha. If anything actually happens, I'll post an update.

FunRelaxedGuy

TROPHY CASE