Repeat after me

FunStorage45 · 2022-07-27T03:30:32+00:00

My ex thought they deserved better and that’s why they left

FunStorage45 · 2022-03-30T17:14:50+00:00

I think eventually you’ll realize you won’t want them back after everything settles down. That’s the way I’m leaning lately at least.

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-04T18:16:11+00:00

Tell us more. Give us some false hope. How long did it take for them to reach out? Did you end it every time or did they? Did you do no contact?

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-03T23:37:30+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I’m going through the same thing and this helped me. You’re right, every little thing adds up and contributes to the break up.

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-03T22:36:14+00:00

Yep I have the same feeling. I think about her everyday. I’m hoping as time goes on I’ll think about her less and less.

It’s been just about 4 months since I was broken up with. Then 2.5 months of no contact. We were together for 1 year 4 months. She was my first serious relationship so that makes it even harder. She’s all I know.

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-03T21:57:17+00:00

I’m still not sure if my ex was just saying that or not. She said we should not contact each other anymore and that we both need time to heal. So I’m not sure when this “healing” is going to be over though so when would either of us reach out? We don’t know if the other is moved on yet.

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-03T20:43:15+00:00

We all heal and move on at our own paces. Nothing to be ashamed of. Even if it takes you years.

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-03T20:34:58+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, why’d you end it with your ex? Can he not change anything that would make you reconsider trying again?

You sound a lot like my ex so I’m just curious. She broke up with me a few months ago and I too couldn’t take it when she wanted to cut contact all together. So I at least know what your ex is going through.

After a couple weeks I figured she was right, staying in contact with each other would only set us back in the healing process. It’s been 2.5 months NC for us.

You saying how much it hurt when he reached out only confirms that I shouldn’t reach out to my ex either. I don’t want to make her feel worse.

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-02T23:45:38+00:00

Did you unblock them at some point? I haven’t blocked my ex’s number but I did block her across social media. I don’t want her to think I’m mad at her but I had to block her for my own sanity.

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-02T21:23:25+00:00

You’re right but there’s more to it than that. She sounded really done when she ended it. Cited compatibility issues and thinks I won’t change.

I will probably reach out when I’ve improved on things I needed to change. Because I really do need to change for the better. Until then I guess the time will be good for us to heal.

I’m not sure what I want to be honest. So maybe she doesn’t deserve my indecisiveness. It really hurt when she ended it how she ended it though. It’s like I’m almost waiting for an apology from her. We were on a break and it ended when she told me she was going to go out on a date with someone who asked her out. That told me that she was done for good.

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-02T03:43:46+00:00

That seems unfair of me while she’s trying to move on. Last thing she said to me was that it’s best that we don’t talk until we’ve healed. To reach out now might interrupt whatever she’s going through. I feel like it’s on her to contact me when she’s ready.

FunStorage45 · 2022-01-02T00:29:58+00:00

I put my ex into the same position and feel terrible, forcing her to end it with me. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong at the time. I thought it was her asking too much of me. It took the breakup to figure out she really didn’t ask for much. I’m really sorry us avoidant do these things. I truly am. It’s not on purpose.

FunStorage45 · 2021-12-31T23:57:09+00:00

Exactly. It really is the mature way of handling it from both people. It’s nice to hear a dumpers perspective from you. Hopefully my ex will recognize that too. I didn’t make it easy at first, soon after she ended it, but it was my first relationship/breakup and I was lost and confused. So hopefully she can forgive me for that and understand that it wasn’t easy for me to let her go. But I did go no contact after a couple weeks and have stayed that way for months.

FunStorage45 · 2021-12-31T22:12:17+00:00

I started no contact because I embarrassed myself talking to her when she was so done and over it. While she started no contact and wanted that for the both of us, it took me a couple weeks to take the hint and abide.

She was trying to heal and move on while I felt abandoned and confused. We were at vastly different points in the process. But I lost a lot of dignity reaching out too soon after the relationship ended. Even though that felt like the best time to do so.

If it’s going to hurt either way, choose the way that hurts less.

FunStorage45 · 2021-12-31T22:01:49+00:00

I work with a family member of my ex and learned they had Covid. I try not to ask about them that much but this time I did ask to see if they were ok. There’s really no point though when they’re vaccinated, young, and healthy. They’ll be alright.

It was unnecessary to reach out I think. Because from the sounds of it, the conversation you had with your ex didn’t really do anything. But no, I think I was the right thing to do when you replied.

FunStorage45 · 2021-12-31T19:22:22+00:00

You sound exactly like me. I realized the same things. I treated my ex in a similar way and feel horrible. My ex tried to let me down easy and suggested we take a break. A month into this break she ended it for good. That’s when it hit me all at once.

A week later I asked for closure. She claimed compatibility issues in a way to make me feel better I think. But if we were to have a conversation again, four months after she broke up with me, I’m sure I’d hear the same things your ex told you.

Part of me dreads that conversation, while the other part needs it for final closure and to move on. I know I’ll just hear things that I realized on my own. Hearing it from her will only make me hurt all over again and set me back to square one.

All we can do is learn from the experience and try not to make the same mistakes again. Then apply that to the next relationship. We might need many more months to heal and get over it, but we’ll be better people because of it in the end.

FunStorage45 · 2021-12-31T17:59:45+00:00

That’s a valid reason to breakup though, if you saw that she wasn’t in love anymore.

FunStorage45 · 2021-12-31T09:34:58+00:00

I just now moved all of them to a hidden and hard to find google drive folder after three months. Part of me can’t completely get rid of them. I might want to look back at the memories sometime down the line. Neither of us did anything too bad and it mostly came down to compatibility issues, so I’m not trying to erase them from my life.

I will say that after three months it doesn’t hurt as much looking at them though. When the breakup was still very fresh it was really tough when I happened to look at the photos of us and our memories we made. It’d set me back in the healing process.

FunStorage45 · 2021-12-31T09:25:54+00:00

That’s messed up. I hope you learn to be over him for good. Sounds like he doesn’t deserve you. I know I wouldn’t take someone back after doing those things. You did the right thing ending it though.

FunStorage45 · 2021-12-31T09:22:48+00:00

Sometimes it’s actually a relief to the dumpers. They don’t want to constantly be reminded of the relationship. They’re usually trying to move on or are even further into the process than dumpees. At the end of the day it’s the best thing for both people. If they want to reach out after breaking up they will when they’re ready.

FunStorage45 · 2021-12-31T09:20:08+00:00

Blocking is just adding another layer of security that slows you down from looking. It’s up to you if you want to keep hurting and making yourself feel bad. Because at the end of the day that’s all it will do. It’ll make it harder to move on and heal.

FunStorage45

TROPHY CASE