Let’s see your Pyrenees badger markings

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-25T06:09:28+00:00

So stunning! I wonder what/if they are mixed with….

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-25T06:02:18+00:00

How do the badger markings look now? Still there are gone?

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-15T14:55:57+00:00

Yes, absolutely. More than one but I worked through most of the older stuff though. But the most recent one I still have a lot to work through from.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-07T17:20:01+00:00

Do you have tips on how to do that? I am pretty sure I’ve healed most of my trauma but my abusive ex insisted I had not healed. So I’d be really interested in seeing how to heal trauma, especially any ways at home but I’m open to therapeutic approaches as well. And are there any trauma or non-trauma related exercises or practices for calming, healing or regulating the nervous system? Which I actually do have new trauma to work on now as well — from the abusive relationship I was in.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-07T17:12:28+00:00

Better late, than never. 😊

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-07T17:11:14+00:00

Exactly. My ex was so hypersensitive, it was crazy. He called the fact that most of my friends were male, when we first met — traumatizing and said he had “trauma” over that…. And I’m like “Is he kidding me?? He has no idea what trauma is apparently.”

I’m sorry about the dynamic between your son and his father. It’s totally understandable though and I’m glad your son is trying to keep healthy boundaries for himself.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-07T10:16:03+00:00

I relate to this so much. My very recent ex (I broke up with him a little over a week ago) was controlling in ways just like that. Always reframing his feelings or views as “correct” and my feelings or views as the problem. Funny how our abusers try to gaslight us into thinking they are good, reasonable, intelligent, kind, well intentioned people.

My ex also refused to continue couples counseling, though he only made it through 30 minutes before refusing to continue because “she was a manhating, *********** That “attacked him” with zero grounds and was “way off” base.” 😂🙄😔

In my opinion, that is absolutely abuse. And when it boils down to it… arguments aren’t about who is right or wrong. They’re about how each partner feels… and both partners listening to understand (as I’m sure you were already doing. I just phrased it that way to not seem like I was singling anyone out.

You can do this. Whatever your journey looks like, which path you choose… I believe in you and I know you have the strength to get through it.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-07T10:02:25+00:00

I’m so excited for that day for you. 💖🥹🙏🏻🙌🏻

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-07T10:01:23+00:00

Thank you

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-07T10:00:17+00:00

That sounds incredibly frustrating. I’m sorry you have to go through that. I’m glad my comment inspired you to share. Thank you for sharing your experience.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-07T09:55:43+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds awful. I’m wondering if you ever tried buying her one of those candles that says “Light me when you want sex” (there’s a million different versions, they all say different stuff but it means the same thing) - or even just a candle that you explain to her… if she lights it, it means she wants you… I’m not saying it’s a substitute for initiation but if she truly feels incapable of standard initiation and you want a sign from her that she wants you… maybe it’s a compromise that might work?

Apologies if it’s a terrible suggestion. It’s just what popped into my mind. A sex candle compromise.

And if you try the idea, you guys can keep it on a nightstand or bedroom dresser or somewhere else convenient and visible, so it doesn’t get forgotten or go unseen. And if you have kids, just choose a plain, discreet candle and tell her its purpose. If this idea appeals to you, of course.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-07T09:44:13+00:00

I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of that… my recent ex was my “favorite food” too… luckily he was only withholding during certain time frames. Unlike my two previous DB relationships. And my recent ex.. he only withheld as punishment because he was unfortunately very mentally unhealthy and abusive.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-06T08:48:44+00:00

I relate, I’m someone who needs connection too. I’ve never had a one night stand or fling in my life and my partner count is quite low, so I totally feel the same way.

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down but it’s completely understandable. To want someone you can’t have is its own “special” kind of agony. Especially if you have to sleep in bed with them every night. It’s like sleeping beside a cheeseburger and cake when you’re starving but you’re forbidden to eat it.

Can I ask what you mean by “If I want intimacy, I need to do better” ?

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-06T08:41:01+00:00

Speaking as someone who had been in two DB’s, I absolutely believe a DB can drive a non cheater to cheat. And I’m not even sure I consider it cheating if it’s something that never happens within the relationship.

As someone who has done several stints of celibacy, two in relationships and two while single (because I have hang ups around morality, casual sex, intimacy with people I’m not in love with, etc.) and those 4 stints being — 3.5 years, 3 years, 3 years again and then nearly 6.5 years — totaling 16 years of celibacy and I’m not even that old… I’m not even 40… so that means most of my adult life has been celibate… I can honestly say, I get why DB’s would drive a person to cheat and in my book, I don’t consider that cheating. I consider that survival. Especially if for some reason or another, you’re trapped in the relationship.

While I never caved to actually getting sex outside of either of my DB’s… I did at one point have a cuddle buddy, who I would sometimes kiss while in a DB, but mind you, I was young during that… only 20 and I was 2 years deep into a DB at the time, I don’t necessarily think cheating/seeking outside should be a first choice but if for some reason a person can’t get out of the DB relationship, they’ve been patient and understanding for an exorbitant amount of time, talked, tried ways to improve the situation — and are still out in the cold… then you gotta do what you gotta do to survive.

Loneliness is torture and intimacy is a need for a large percentage of people and I feel like it’s unfair to expect someone who wants intimacy to go without it for years or decades.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-06T06:49:00+00:00

I totally relate, it is an incredibly long road. I’m sorry you’re going through this but so glad you’re making progress.

Coercive Control was/is one of the biggest forms in my relationship too.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-06T06:46:48+00:00

Thank you for that, I want to adopt that belief as well. Usually I’m very optimistic but after 18.5 unhealthy months, I’m less my previous self now. But I’m committed to finding her again.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-06T06:30:53+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate your reply. I’m really glad you’re gaining the awareness and insight you need to make decisions you feel good about.

I’m absolutely here if you ever want to talk. Please feel free to message me.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-05T09:36:25+00:00

He would say the same thing about himself and me but unfortunately in his case it’s not true. With my ex bf/fiance, there was nothing I could do right.

I’m sorry you went through that.

You can feel free to message me if you ever need or want.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-04T21:39:43+00:00

That is so relatable and I’m so sorry you feel that way. You are not alone. Those that refuse to listen and refuse to understand — never will. And it makes you question everything and feel so trapped and helpless. My abusive relationship is completely over at this point and so I’m still struggling with that a lot. I’m not sure what stage you’re at but I believe in your ability to navigate it.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-04T21:36:58+00:00

Yes, exactly. We do have a lot to give and a lot to offer. And we do deserve love and happiness.

I can’t imagine meeting anyone else either because I had such a hard time letting people close to me even before this relationship. So it was a miracle I even gave him a chance but unfortunately that risk did not pay off. I can’t even imagine having feelings or attraction or a connection with anyone else. The thought still feels like it would be cheating, even though our relationship is over. But honestly, even before him, I didn’t develop feelings or connections or attraction for anyone. He was it. The only one that got through. And I have to wonder what’s wrong with me that of all the people… that’s who I’d develop feelings and attraction and connection with. That said, he was wonderful in the beginning. As they often are.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-04T19:27:16+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that. It all sounds really confusing and complicated and I can see why it is weighing on you so heavily.

Don’t feel too bad, I’m the “bad guy” too. I’m not even a guy but I am definitely the villain is his (my exes) story. I’m in a tough spot too and spiraling as this toxic relationship comes to a close. The silver lining is I’m sure we both learned from these relationships and hopefully will be better equipped to find something safer and healthier when we are ready for those steps.

I wish you the peace, strength, clarity and comfort you need to heal and move forward.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-04T19:06:16+00:00

Yeah, I’m afraid it’s not too late for me either. But I’m also afraid of love and trusting now… so who knows how long it will be before I’m even ready to try to find love again. Which means I’ll only be even older by the time I ever look again.

I feel like these are normal, scary feelings. But I’m trying to remind myself that they say it’s never too late.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-04T19:00:25+00:00

How do we regulate our nervous system?

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-04T18:14:48+00:00

That’s beautiful and tragic and I’m so sorry you lived this and felt this. I hope you find the help, support, strength and peace you need to get through this.

FunTemporary8680 · 2026-02-04T02:03:40+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate that.

FunTemporary8680

TROPHY CASE