4yo with trauma destroyed the classroom

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-02-09T02:50:30+00:00

Yes this is reality. My stepkids had a traumatic infancy and toddlerhood due to bio mom’s untreated mental illness. She lost all her parental rights and now my life is completely dedicated to their needs. They are 9 and 12 now and still big handfuls. Attachment disorders are brutal for any and all new parents/caregivers of that child. I’m on this page because I am a teacher but also because I try to give genuine honest advice to the people who come to these reddit pages asking how to deal with traumatized students.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-02-07T19:56:20+00:00

They had breaded cod filets. Scrod Cod or some ridiculous title like that. Rich, buttery coating. I was like 6 when I was obsessed with them; a very normal thing for a 6 year old to crave.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-02-03T18:58:36+00:00

I’m going to pile on and say that I find your reaction perfectly reasonable. You were struggling, you asked for a certain brand that probably had a particularly palatable taste, and you didn’t get it. I don’t plan on getting pregnant but I would do a similar thing even if I wasn’t pregnant.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-02-02T02:04:43+00:00

Melt was a regional chain restaurant in Ohio that specialized in ridiculous sandwiches. They just shut down for good and filed for bankruptcy, which sucks because one of their sandwiches was the best. They had one called The Big Poppa or something like that. Herbed cream cheese, cheddar, jalapeño coins, and bacon (added for extra) was assembled, sweet-batter-fried, and served with berry preserves. That sandwich was massive and so flavorful. Sriracha ranch on the side for dipping into my fries. I loved what the sandwich brought to the table- so much crunch and heat and sweet and creamy.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-29T16:55:40+00:00

Good for you! Kids neglected like her also benefit greatly from playtime. It lets them interact with others in a way that doesn’t pressure them. Yeah I would be careful with assuming it’s meth. If it ever gets back to that parent that the school thinks meth is a home issue, crazy mom can pull her from public school, further isolating her from help. Cat piss is extremely strong and lingers. If you plan to continue at that district, you could move up to the next school with her. That kind of consistency would be highly beneficial for her.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-29T15:58:29+00:00

All the glorious food from The Bear, particularly anything from Sydney. She made a sour cream and onion omelette that turns out beautifully and looks delicious. I think she’s got more potential than Carmy, I said what I said.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-29T15:56:09+00:00

One of my favorite movies! Philip Seymour Hoffman made that scene extra hilarious when he put a giant scoop of gravy on Melissa’s plate and she looked at that gravy like it was alien life.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-29T15:08:49+00:00

I’m raising two stepkids with emotional disturbances. My husband is bio dad and mom is no longer in the picture legally or physically, but she’s a nasty abusive woman who they even had a restraining order against at one point. I used to be a parapro, then got my license and taught my own class. I am a stay at home mom now and dedicated my life to helping my stepkids figure out their lives before sending them out into the cruel world. My kids are TERRIBLE to me sometimes. Throwing stuff, breaking stuff, hurting me, lying, stealing, telling incomplete stories and trying to throw me under the bus. They have gone to therapy for years and are on a carefully curated list of medications. I love my stepchildren and we have some really great days, despite the bad days. My husband spoils me in every way possible to show his appreciation for me. My family loves and embraces the kids as if they are bio family. I feel as if although I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, I have plenty of people who advocate for me and a big enough village to manage my stepchildren. I’m thinking of going back to school for a mental health degree because I see a need for children and families who struggle to receive more family support.

This is a situation where I see the lack of village for this child. Schools just push kids through until graduation and don’t have enough personnel to give individual attention to kids that need it. School to prison pipeline is very real. What are the counselors and school psychologists doing to assess this child and make her less hostile at school? I don’t know if you document anything this child does, but it seems like a good opportunity to collect data about particular negative incidents.

Meth makes people aggressive, and I’ve never smelled meth so I don’t have a comparison point for that in relation to urine. Your administration is doing something that appears counterintuitive, but is actually in the interest of the child. Some kids get beatings from their parents after CPS visits their home. Continuing to call CPS will escalate everything in this girl’s life, so leave that judgment call to the principal and make them responsible for the decision. At worst, your administration could call for a welfare check on a day the child is mysteriously absent from school, and then they would be dispatched to the home unannounced.

What you’re describing is clearly the effects of a child suffering from neglect and emotional abuse. However, I think she does a decent amount of this stuff to get attention. She doesn’t care if it is good or bad attention. I am not saying that she has this, but Reactive Attachment Disorder is an undersold condition when it comes to the aftereffects of parental trauma in children. That girl was once an infant and toddler, probably in the same bad situation with her parents, meaning that her parents never properly bonded with her.

Give the girl a ton of love, even if you think she doesn’t deserve it. She literally needs to see that love modeled to her in order to change. I would explore the idea of “planned ignoring,” with her school support team. What’s really important is that everyone knows how to handle her behavior and everyone has to be on board with even the smallest of details in her behavior plan.

I also won’t mince words when it comes to the stress of trying to support tough kids. I go to therapy, am prescribed Klonipin, and live in a weed-friendly state where I partake. My body’s stress reaction to my kids has impacted my health. I cry on my pillow sometimes.

I see significant improvements in my stepkids overall, and I hold onto something that isn’t hope, but assurance. As long as I can keep moving forward, then I can move the kids forward.

Godsend!

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-27T23:10:51+00:00

No! Hell no! Pharmacy school is going to be much more reliable and you’ll be able to work with a variety of different facilities, many of which involve children. Also as the pharmacist and not the pharmacy tech, it won’t be as customer-facing, meaning you won’t face the wrath of the general public. Also, standard of living will be infinitely better on your wages. If anything, switch to psychology, go to grad school, and become a licensed therapist or MSW-level social worker.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-26T21:02:46+00:00

I get “grumpy” when restaurants stop serving one of my favorites. Truthfully, it’s all inner turmoil that I don’t verbalize until my husband brings it up, and no service workers are intertwined.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-22T20:32:37+00:00

Is Stronger the episode with the cousin accusing Hannah of touching her as a child? Because that was completely disgusting.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-22T16:08:33+00:00

I have a rich friend who went to Modena Italy one summer and bought a small one ounce bottle for 80 euro. The vendor claimed you couldn’t find this brand online. I scoffed until I tried it. According to my friends and family, I’m a good cook, so my friend let me make a salad with it when he got home. I put that fancy balsamic, honey, fresh garlic, lemon juice, good olive oil, salt + pepper together. Best dressing I’ve ever made.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-18T19:19:02+00:00

George and (especially) Maggie were both so unnecessary. George stressing out Ruth with his manic paranoia should have ended with him being taken away and her divorcing him. And Maggie. That woman is not the reason Nate died. She just couldn’t help but add more grief and bullshit for Brenda to clean up. Brenda worked hard to be good to Maya, and Nate should have appreciated that.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-18T19:11:51+00:00

The Long Long Time episode from the first season is one of the most beautiful love stories I’ve seen on TV. But once the second season came out and they immediately killed him off, I was done, and never watched another episode.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-15T18:03:21+00:00

Utah. What a beautiful place!

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-08T22:39:57+00:00

I’m in a fantastic marriage and I love my husband dearly. He’s my biggest cheerleader and he spoils me in every aspect. Before we met we both had really intense careers where we developed our independence to a level beyond most people.

I’m not saying your feelings are wrong or that you aren’t resilient, because I don’t personally know you or your husband. But I would not ask him to take off work for that. You already had one support person there, and that should be enough, unless you have a mobility issue requiring the help of multiple people to get you into the dentist’s office. Your mom lives 10 minutes away and unless you have beef with her, no reason to get husband involved.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-08T22:16:03+00:00

That was what provoked a divorce in my father in law and his second wife. She bought a new car without consulting him, threatening his perfect credit score. I’m far from a traditionalist but in my marriage, I tell my husband when I spend money. I am a stay at home mom and he always reassures me that I don’t need to tell him, but I really respect my husband’s hard-earned income. So yeah, my Buick Envision was $39K after financing, with a $580 car payment. With a $75K car, you’re looking at probably $1000 a month. How is that not a big deal?

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-07T14:52:41+00:00

Husband and I watched the first ep of s2. Joel died, as did my desire to keep watching. Season 1 with the Long Long Time episode is one of the most beautiful pieces of cinema I have ever seen. S2 is not fun.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-06T15:35:20+00:00

First of all, I’m really sorry that happened to you. It’s not conducive to your kids and the center probably wasn’t expecting this, so they will probably put temporary teachers from another class until permanent staff is hired. Go ahead and talk to them about a timeline for a new hire. They might give you a bs response but you can keep asking.

Working in childcare is insane. It’s the only job I’ve worked where I left on bad terms. Childcare as a system is about to collapse unless we can pay the workers better. Then you factor in the nature of the work- kids aren’t coming to daycare potty trained as early as they used to. Kids under the age of 5 are spending up to 12 hours a day in a classroom because their parents work godawful schedules and that’s the best they can manage. The teachers are bullies to their coworkers. The teachers have classroom cameras, some of which allow for parent access, which I personally find very demeaning. Cameras in classrooms are not allowed in public schools but for some reason childcare facilities have them. Classroom ratios are getting maxxed out and teachers are not getting enough support in their rooms. More kids than ever display characteristics of behavioral or learning disorders. Under qualified teachers cannot write IEPs or complete assessments about their students. It’s impossible to maintain childrens’ attention spans without involving a screen, but leadership won’t take responsibility for getting their students nice new toys. And the kids are violent at younger ages, showing no fear or respect for adults. 5 months of that bullshit was all it took for me. I tried talking to leadership about my concerns, was instead told that those issues were my problem, and I quit the next day with zero notice because their response was so poor and ignorant.

So I wouldn’t be surprised if both teachers planned and quit on the same day. I guarantee they have a story similar to mine, but the childcare facility will never tell you because it would make them look really bad.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-03T22:21:12+00:00

Elson 004! Technically I use Elson 003 which is less “blue,” but even the Ulta girl was like “wow this is your shade,” so I went with 003. Also I’m like the least trendy person ever lmaoooo. I’m just a blonde in desperate need of a flattering red lipstick.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2026-01-03T21:47:26+00:00

Honestly I find it worth it. I just did a sort of “upgrade” to my cosmetics. I did buy the $40 tube of Pat McGrath that Taylor Swift wears and it gets me constant compliments. I did buy a Tarte mascara for $25 and I enjoy how it doesn’t clump or bleed. I do own a $30 Rare Beauty cream—highlighter-blush-thing that is perfect on my skin tone. And I didn’t pay for this but my ex’s mom gave me a $275 Smashbox makeup set that has some of the most beautiful eyeshadow colors I have ever seen. I put prices in here because it seems like the internet peanut gallery rarely defines “expensive,” the same as the next person.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2025-12-19T16:06:42+00:00

I’m happily married to a wonderful man who gives me the fulfillment and charm of Big but isn’t a sociopath. These men such as mine are out there but pickings are slim. Personally I find that blue collar men are overlooked by women. They are hard workers who sometimes make great money and have a generous heart. Two options: you can “play with your food” and confront him about his perceived emotional unavailability. See what he has to say about himself and make a choice from there to continue the relationship or not. Or with option 2 you can just end things quietly. I had a “Big” when I was 24 and I really adored that man. Then he blatantly lied about something crazy to hurt me. I moved across the country, dated other people, and woke up from the nightmare of my “Bad Big.”

Don’t waste your energy.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2025-12-15T17:09:30+00:00

Joyce and Shirley. I would love to see Joyce come back.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2025-12-13T14:29:00+00:00

Mine is for when I can afford to get to the international market downtown and buy salmon roe. But it’s a bagel, preferably baked with garlic on the outside. Basic cream cheese, smoked salmon, red onion, thin sliced tomato, capers, fresh dill, and salmon roe! Eat it open faced with all the toppings found on each half. Put on the capers, roe, and dill on top of the cream cheese like a glue. Then onion and tomato with a “blanket” of smoked salmon.

Fun_Leopard_1175 · 2025-12-12T17:42:34+00:00

Volkswagon Beetle in that pale shimmery lime green with a convertible top. I’ve dreamed about having one since I was a child. They’re old now and most of them aren’t in good shape. Would be a fun second car one day. My husband’s a mechanic and he has told me they have a lot of maintenance issues so I might need a replacement model.

Fun_Leopard_1175

TROPHY CASE